How much longer will my tears fall in silence
The pitter patter of somber with nowhere to go.
This aching loneliness that never truly leaves,
Caused by an isolation I am yet to know how I achieved.
I tire of waiting for the people who will fill this gap,
So much so, I sometimes doubt that time will ever come to pass.
But that possibility scares me.
The thought of enduring until the end all on my own.
If I ought to wait a while,
Knowing in full that someday I will have a shoulder on which to cry,
I think I could wait with patience.
One cannot predict the future,
Wasting the time I have in worry is futile.
So I surrender the future I fear to the One who wrote my story.
With much care and love— that I am sure.
I need not fret.
My how's, why's, where's, who's and what's
Have all been carefully set.
So I will wait.
I will wait because not one of my tears have fallen in vain,
I have a God who knows my pain, who captures it and holds it as you would a gem.
He has planned it all—
Who am I to doubt His plan when mine is naught but a mess?
I am pained, yes.
But I am loved.
Even if not on earth, by my Father above.
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Hi EvalisseRae! Thank you for sharing this poem with us. I wasn't sure what it was going to be about, and then halfway through the message became clear. I quite like the fact that I didn't know at first that the answer would be God, and I think the idea of waiting is present throughout the poem, so that is good. I do wonder if it would be helpful to have something that tells the reader why and how you came to the conclusion that you were happy to wait - in the first half the speaker sounds distressed and not hopeful, and in the second half this changes but I'm not sure what has happened to make the change.
Also, the first stanza sounds like the poem might rhyme and flow throughout, as leaves sort of rhymes with achieved, and the first three lines flow nicely. However, the fourth line feels a little long at the moment. If you wanted it to be a similar length to the first three in terms of syllables and flow, you could change it to "an isolation I don't know how I achieved." However, the rest of the poem doesn't continue in the same rhythm like I thought it would upon first reading, so I'd be tempted to either make it all fit the kind of pattern of the first stanza, or make the first stanza equally as varied as the rest of the poem, if that makes sense.
Other than that, I like that the poem turned from anxiety to hope, and maybe that will give other people hope too!
I love this. I also really needed to read this right now. Besides the message of the poem being right, it is also fantastically written. From start to finish it feels whole, as the narrative gets more and more sure of the main message (that waiting is good and necesarry, because there is a bigger plan). My only critic would be that you maybe wrapped up the point of the whole poem to early on, so the first two verses seem a little out of place. The third and fourth could have served as more of a bridge so the conclusion can come at a later point in the poem. I really do love it though and reading this definitely made my day a little better. Also sending love, since I am also new on here.
Thank you so much for your feedback! I really do appreciate it, and I'm so glad this was able to lighten your day, even by a little bit <3 I definitely see what you mean by the poem being wrapped up too early. I initially hadn't planned on waiting being the theme at all, and that is most likely the reason why the first two verses feel out of place. I really was just rambling out my feelings at first, haha >< With your observations, I do feel the mid section could be elaborated as a bridge and make the poem flow better. Lots of love to you as well, and I hope you get through whatever it is you're facing <3
<3
first post<3 — E.R