Roses

by EvaR14

Published October 5, 2020

In writing

Daisies filled the long green grass, their delicate petals smiling up at the sky. Sunflowers surrounded them, facing the bright sun. The enchanting laugh of a young girl as she lay in the grass watching the fluffy clouds change shape filled the air with an almost tangible sense of joy. Purple crocuses sprung from the ground, anemones soon following.

Beez buzzed, joining butterflies in an intricate dance the girl could barely take her eyes away from. Delicate, beautiful, innocent. Her long, thick hair shone in the sunlight and her radiant skin glowed like an angel's, as though she had been blessed by God himself; perhaps even was a goddess. Her eyelids gently shut as she revelled in the peace around her.

She hadn't felt like this in a long time. The sunlight seemed to wash her worries away, the stress on her features melting. Streams of red and white tulips spread in mesmerising patterns from her fingertips.

If the girl had ever known paradise, this was it.

Painful memories and fears faded away, as her breathing slowed and she drifted to sleep, the hypnotic surroundings controlling her.

Bright red roses danced towards her while she slept. Their vibrant colours barely stood out, complimenting their surroundings perfectly. They embraced the girl, covering her from head to toe, whilst she barely moved, crawling over her until she was completely sealed in.

And then her eyes shot open. A flash of horror crossed her face as she lifted her arms in a futile attempt to fight back. The rose thorns dug into her arms, their stems tying her down and covering her mouth as she struggled to be free. Tears poured from her eyes, only serving to water the flowers that suffocated her. Desperate cries formed at the tip of her tongue, but the grip of the roses left her voiceless. Blood poured from the cuts the thorns left in her arms, staining her pure, white dress.

All of a sudden, she stopped.

Her skin was pale but clear. Beautiful and pure, as it had always been. But now the flawless skin was soaked in blood, and the white dress was stained and torn.

She lay in a coffin that encapsulated her beauty perfectly. It shimmered and glowed in the sunlight, the colours now standing out in the meadow, recognised for all their glory. Mesmerising. So hypnotic and heaven-like that no-one would guess they were a grave.

Nobody would see the face of a goddess as it crumbled away.

Nobody would ever know how deadly the roses were.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
JEAN_447 Review
JEAN_447 wrote a review Review · Oct 9, 2020

Hi there im Jean and really new here...

I really love the way you write, its so good and i really felt like i was in a real garden but sadly i can't go out.

"She hadn't felt like this in a long time. The sunlight seemed to wash her worries away, the stress on her features melting. Streams of red and white tulips spread in mesmerising patterns from her fingertips."

-Now this part really feels like its connected in not going out in these quarantine days, I really felt the feeling passing through me while reading it.

Don't get me wrong i really love it and i hope that you think that your work is written beautifully too...

This is an art work you did an excellent job writing this..., I just hope you could give me tips in writing..., I really love it

EvaR14 replied · Oct 12, 2020

thanks for the review :)
honestly tho - I've not rlly written that much so idk what tips I'd give you, sorry. I guess I'd have to just say to try and make your writing authentic. Also, you could read it out loud to see if it flows well or not.
Like I said, thanks for the review, and I'll definitely check out anything you publish in the future :)

Thank you too but i don't think you could really understand the book i writing its filipino...

EvaR14 replied · Oct 16, 2020

okay yeah, sorry. I'm sure its great tho lol (i can always read the translated version with google)

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penngreen4776
Review
penngreen4776 wrote a review Review · Oct 5, 2020

Hiya! I'm penn, and I don't think I've been more horrified by flowers since that scene in Lord of the Rings when that guy whose name I can't remember got turned into a tree.

...I had some weird fears as a kid. But enough about me! Let's talk about roses and how they enjoy the taste of human flesh.

Because it's October, and we're already losing the battle for Christmas, we need some spooky stuff to keep ourselves awake at night. This is nice. Scary to think about, considering that it is far too easy to be lost and then kept so close to escape, to serve as either a warning, or temptation. I don't know why my own darkened train of thought is coloring this supposed review to paint a different picture then you likely mean to tell, but settling into near bliss only to be eaten alive while trapped in a coffin of roses and thorns is terrifying.

...good job, I'm not looking at gardens the same way again. Thumbs up!



“Though lovers be lost, love shall not; And death shall have no dominion.”
— Dylan Thomas