Dear readers ,
I dont want to hide any thing from you. All the characters and the name CID is from a TV serial "CID" which comes on a channel SONY. I have taken the same characters but the story and the plot and the idea and the dialogues are my very own. Though it may sound childish to some but still I have writtten it because I love the serial.
I felt the need to introduce every little thing about CID and what is it , the characters, their appearence, their likings and friendship, and other things before you all read the actual chapters. This is for a better understanding of the related CID cases. So here is this introductory chapter.
This is a picture of the characters of TV:
CID: Crime Investigation Department
CID is a department which investigates the crimes especially the murder cases. CID works in a team. The team works cordinately. There is a Forensic department which helps the CID. There are doctors in this department which investigates the dead bodies and find the real cause of death and confirms whether it was a murder or a simple death.
Characters: The CID team consists of :
ABHIJEET: Abhijeet is a senior inspector. He is a sharp shooter.
DAYA: Daya is also a senior inspector. He is good in fighting. He is tall with a hefty build.
ACP PRADYUMAN: Pradyuman is an ACP. ACP is a post higher than a senior inspector. Above it comes DCP. In later chapters I may use a Character of DCP Chitraule: Who is a man of medium proportion and colour and a man with a hatered for CID team. Well...We were talking about ACP PRADYUMAN. He is this one:
FREDRICKS: Fredricks, called Freddy by everyone, is a married man. He is little funny and is afraid of ghosts.
LAVANYA:
SHREYA:
The forsensic department consists of two doctors:
Dr.TARIKA:
Dr.SALUNKHE: He was little bald but then tries to grow hair on his head my massaging with a special oil
.
Likings and friendship:
Infact everyone likes everyone and all are good friends.Everyone lives as if they all belong to one family. But these are the special kind of likings and friendship:
Abhijeet likes Tarika and vice versa
Daya likes Shreya and vice versa
Abhijeet and daya are best friends.They are such true friends that everyone else take oath of their friendship whenever they want to prove themselves true. And every one takes lessons from their friendship.
Dear readers,
I hope that you have a clear images of the characters which I am going to use in all the CID cases.
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Canary word: Present
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Heya, Eros. Casanova here to do a review for you.
Ah, an introductory chapter, so not much to say for that. Anyway, onward.
Really one of the only things I have to say about this is grammar, relationships, and approach. So let's approach that.
The first thing is grammar. I would suggest instead of wording it as,"the crimes," you just use,"crime." Short, sweet, and to the point, and nothing gets lost with wording and the reader isn't focused on that slip up for the next ten chapters. Anyway, onward.
Since this is an introductory chapter, I figured you'd want to at least describe some of the relationships that people have with each other. Sort of, like, how the react and their strengths and weaknesses, sort of giving the reader into a bit of an insight about the characters themselves, to see if they relate and a general idea of how the characters are going to "play" together in the work force and outside of the work force, so to speak. Really that's up to you, I figured I would throw that out there.
Another thing is the approach. There's nothing dramatic about this, and there's nothing that hits me in the face like BLAM. I would suggest messing around the edges and find a dramatic way to be like BLAM into the readers- so they have a strong emotional feeling towards it right off the bat so they're hooked from the get go- instead of turning some people off of your book by not engaging them right off the bat(some people wont read more than the first chapter if that chapter isn't engaging.)
Anyway, that's all I have to say on this one and I hope it helped.
Keep on doing what you're doing.
Sincerely, Casanova
I’m glad you put up the introductory chapter. It helps a lot and makes it easier for us – people who haven’t watched the show – to understand the story better. I liked that you gave us the characters’ pictures. We have a visual aid this way (though you could have described their appearance in your script). Lastly, instead of giving us details about them here, I’d suggest you show their personality/character through their actions/dialogues.
I look forward to reading more of your work.
Thank You for the review Artstyx!! I have edited the ending of the first case and I would soon try to edit the second case too!
No problem!
That's great! I'm sure it's much better now.
I too love this serial and enjoyed watching on my leisure time. Your intro part was brief and good. By constructing short sentences, you could avoid errors. But, too many short sentences would irk the reader and make them lose interest in further reading. Try to combine them using conjunctions. And there were many typo errors:
"Infact everyone likes everyone
"The team works cordinately
Keep on writing! Good Luck!
Heya Prakash!! Thank you for the review! Our interests match! I have heard many people saying that this is a childish serial but some like us love to watch it! I would try to reduce the mistakes and combine the sentences.
Your intro sounds good; but you could make this change.
Refrain from using too many simple sentences:
eg:
John went to the zoo. He bought icecream there. There were two lions. John loved the elephants the best.
Heya Epicghost!! First of all thank you for the review! Hmm... I should make the sentence of a medium length. I will try and improve it. Your example really helped me to understand my mistake. Thank you for pointing out the mistakes because we always learn from our mistakes.