An Angel Came

Hello, Emotion1405.

-Tears up from this wonderful piece of work- This poem had made me cry for real. I honestly love this poem because right now, someone rescued me from all the pain and hate people had gave onto me over the years... I enjoy this because you felt how i felt so I knew I felt a connection with you.

My favorite lines from this were:

An angel came and rescued me

From pain

From fear

From sadness

From dirtied emotion

And she brought back my soul

I thank you beautiful angel

-Tear tear- Beautiful.

Gummy's the name, reviewing's my game! Tonight, I'm reviewing Emotion1405's piece, "An Angel Came".

This really is a beautiful piece, and I commend you for sharing your thoughts with us in such a beautiful manner! The grammar is pristine, and there are no misspellings through the entirety of the poem! Congratulations!

Now, onto what can change for the better. You know what this piece could really use? Punctuation. Or better yet, punctuation and imagery! Punctuation is self-explanatory, and a poem like yours could use it pretty well. I recommend punctuation for every poem that isn't a palindrome. As for imagery, I just found some descriptions rather lacking, and I think you can do better in that sense. Imagery is what forms the connection with the reader's head and helps him/her visualize the whole thing!

That's it! This is truly a work of art, and I can relate to so many topics in it, especially if I think back to my elementary school days while reading this! I hope to read more of your works in the near future!

As always, take care, and remember, practice is key!

I can understand many of the thoughts and feelings that were poured into this poem. I struggled with depression for quite some time before I got help. However, that is where I must disagree with this poem. In order to truly break free from depression, the angel must be yourself. Though help is of course often necessary to treat depression, it can be painful and dangerous to rely on one person alone.

The description of Hell did not really speak to me. It doesn't offer up the pain and desperation I imagine would come from someone experiencing Hell. I wanted to experience the speaker's pain, but I just couldn't.

The lines of the hatred the speaker was given by others also did not evoke many feelings in me. Though I deeply understand the pain of being truly alone, of being hated, the direct, mundane descriptions seemed to sully and dampen that pain.

I love your description of how the speaker nearly committed suicide. I can imagine one who points the sword at his or her heart, and the angel gently placing her hand on the blade, gazing at the speaker with utmost kindness and gentleness.

I love how the last line floats off, as if the angel has left, but the feelings the angel brought remain, and always shall. I think it would be better to have a comma after "thank you", though. I sense a natural pause there that gives more emphasis to the last words. But even without it, I really love that line. I can hear the speaker emphatically, lovingly speaking those words as he or she listens to the angel fluttering off back to Heaven, new hope in the speaker's heart.

Wow! a very good poem poem I must say^^Welcome to YWS and I hope you continue to write such beautiful poems..
It really as the touch of the poet him/her self.. And being able to personalize a poem is a very good thing.. Now let me begin pointing out a few things about what can be improved..

Firstly, You can edit this work and properly dive your work into stanzas however you liked as I think that bug as been fixed. That would make the poem look much more neat.
Secondly, you could punctuate this poem seeing that there aren't any currently which is not a very good thing.
Thirdly, Even if the poem is such a beauty...you need to regulate the flow some more as it is lacking in some places..
That's all I guess... Keep up the good work and keep writing! ^^~
Hope I could be of some help. Good day

Breathtaking, amazingly described of the character's emotions and of his pain and suffering from being excluded and outcast-ed. Plus many people can relate to this as they experience a lot of what you said of people disguising hatred as jokes and going at them time and time again to make them feel bad about themselves Myself included. I really was into the whole theme I could imagine it in my head and it brought back memories of troubled times and of when I felt exactly like the character.

Goodness gracious! I cannot describe in simple terms how much I LOVED THIS! <3 It portrays reality in such a realistic way! Particularly the "hate disguised as a joke"- I can understand that completely and relate entirely! Those who are not accepted, who don't "meet the status quo" always go through these horrible times of aggression and terrible feelings of uselessness. Sometimes the only thing we feel is the feeling of WANTING to fight back- even though we ourselves are not the evil ones....But at times we WANT to be evil. SO just....Wow. Way to sum up my life in a poem good friend, you have my sincere admiration! And Now I shall patiently wait for said angel to come....In a corner....like a lil creeper....reading stuffs....(this almost made me laughcry (yes, yes laughcry is a word I just made it) in math class- how strange do I have to be to make that seem normal o.o?)

Love,
Red <3