>Just for funs – I missed this website ;) I need critiques. Is my writing style okay, or is it too blah?<
Do you see that? Those tentacles and – oh!
See, I’m diving to the bottom of the ocean.
There’s a rotting ship and a stubborn rock.
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Where am I swimming to?
The bottom of the ocean!
See, there’s something gaining on me.
I guess I should be afraid and –
These are jagged edges.
There’s orange, and orange, and orange
And these ghosts are gaining on me.
“Halt, halt, halt,” I scream, and then I scream some more.
I knocked on a door.
And a sing
“here, little girlie, I love your pretty costume. What are you?”
“I’m a mermaid!”
He gave me these droplets. These little coloured capsules.
I stumbled, I stumbled.
I swallowed a sweetie –
I fell down a rabbit hole.
Into this ocean
Down, down, down and
Was that the wrong pill to take?
I think, I think it was.