Start of a short story I wrote. Doesn't have a title, about the feeling of being overwhelmed

People, running, yelling, laughing. Spilling around me like a flood. Pushing me, pulling me, dragging me towards my class. I trip, catch myself. Spinning, the world is spinning. Breathing, deep breathing, the world comes into focus. Bright, too bright. Too loud. I stumble, falling, the ground comes into focus as my hands land on the hard concrete. I close my eyes. Open them. Feet, all I can see is feet, running, walking, stepping over me. I stand up, brush dust off my trousers. Stumble again as I run towards my drama classroom.

Eyes. Staring at me. Heads turn as I enter the room. I throw my bag down and collapse onto the floor. Voices, voices fill my head. Talking to me, I don't hear them. It's all a buzz, a gurgle of sounds. I'm suddenly far far away, voices become distant as I close my eyes. Someone yells out my name, they yell it again and again. I open my eyes. Faces. looking at me.

"Are you okay?" Someone asks. But I don't reply.

A small "I'm fine," escapes my lips. I look down. The carpet underneath me grounds me. One breath, two breaths, three breaths. I look up, Miss KD is looking at me. I look down again. I zone out, I remember her taking the role, us splitting into groups. Practice. Practicing for mission impossible mime. I stand, my back against the wall. Heart pounding in my chest. I say something I don't remember. Time speeds up and slows down. Time is disappearing. The bell. Loud. I resist the urge to clap my hands over my ears. Another breath and I'm moving. It's automatic. I grab my bag and run. Outside, a ponytail. I know that ponytail. Senara. My girlfriend, someone safe. I wish I could hug her but we are both moving too fast. Our fingers brush together. It tingles. I have to go, I have to run. I'm running. Racing time, racing the bell.

Art. Zoe. I see her and jump up next to her. Words escape my lips. Rushing like a waterfall. It doesn't stop. Hands, hands grabbing me into a hug. I relax, breathing. A tear runs down my cheek. I feel safe in her grasp. But it doesn't last long. Time speeds up. All the time I'm talking, I don't remember my words, but they are there. Tears and words spill out. Pouring onto my lap, onto Zoe. The bell, that wretched bell. It's too loud. I grab my bag. I have to escape. It's suffocating in here, too many people, too much noise. We run. I don't remember much. it's all a blur. Too much too fast. 

I've forgotten something. Oh no. My P.E. kit. P.E. is next, I sit. Watch as the ball flies between hands. Running, people run. The swish of a net as the ball falls, slowly. I don't remember taking my phone out but it's there in my hands. The comforting messages from a faraway friend. A memory, camp, friends, laughter. A tear escapes and I blink. More tears, gathering inside my eyelids. I let them fall, wiping them away with my sleeve as I look down. A droplet, magnifying a word on my phone. Safe. Caitlin, I think of Caitlin. Senara, her soft hands and warm hugs. Zoe. Jess. Sophie. Cate. Names, faces fill my mind. They all mean the same thing. Safe. Breathe, I forgot to breathe. Deep breaths, filling my lungs with the cool, dry air. Another bell. Enough with the bells.

Miss Lewis, the only person in the room when I enter. Her voice is loud but comforting as I enter. I'm the first one here. My seat sits at the back of the class. I take it. The warmth of the classroom is comforting. Until I remember, math… I shudder. The teacher may be nice, but the subject isn't. Algebra, at least it's not Geometry. Slowly, the classroom fills. The silence is heavy in the room, apart from the rare quiet whisper, the room is no longer comforting. Cold, filling me, spreading through my veins. Time drags, slowly. My mind disappears. Lost in some unlikely fantasy.

At some point I get up and go to the bathroom. I'm shaking in the cold stall. Two girls enter. Crap. I pull out my phone and text my friends again. But it's not like they can help. They can't just fly down from the North Island and kick these girls out. So I wait. When they don't leave I choose to brave it. I exit the stall, quickly wash my hands and skedaddle out of the bathroom. Back to my classroom as quickly and as quietly as possible.

There's five minutes left of class. Everyone is packing up their stuff when I walk back in. I join them, waiting for the bell to ring so I can leave. Finally, the loud, obnoxious ringing fills my ears as I grab my bag and run for the Aurora Centre.

It's dark when I enter. I sit down next to Senara and exhale. I've been holding my breath without realizing. Her fingers reach for mine and they intertwine. My head rests on her shoulder and I breathe deep breaths while she plays with my hair, stroking it softly. Talking quietly, comforting me.

Miss KD enters via the stage. She is talking with the year 13s. They are laughing. One girl spins another around grinning. They look so happy. A knot forms in my stomach. I feel sick. Deep breaths. The sick feeling fades but the knot is still there. Twisting my stomach. Miss KD is walking towards us. Her lips move.

"How are you guys?" She asks. My friends reply but I stay silent. She walks closer, I shiver. Another deep breath.

"Hey Emma, why are you sad? I noticed you were sad at drama. What's wrong?"

I have to say something. I want to tell her everything. But no words escape my lips.

I try again, "I- I don't know…" It's not enough. I know that. "I'm tired. And today- Yesterday…" I trail off. For once in my life I am stuck for words.

"What happened yesterday?" Miss KD looks at me with worried eyes.

"I- A lot…" I wish I could give a better answer, but my mouth is dry. I can't speak.

"A lot? Is there anything I can do to help? Because that's my job, to help."

I want to answer, to tell her I'm overwhelmed. That I don't know how she can help. But I want to talk. To tell her I'm sorry I can't speak but that she is amazing and I'm glad I have her. To thank her for checking up on me… But instead I just shrug helplessly. My mouth is too dry for words.

She moves on, talking to different people. I want her to stay, to talk to me, to tell me everything will be okay. But it's not like I was any help. I didn't tell her anything useful. I just shrugged her off. I close my eyes and focus on Senara. Her warm shoulder, her soft hands combing through my hair, her soft voice, breathing comforting words into my ear. I relax. I am safe with her.

One of the leaders quiets everyone and explains what's happening in drama club. I half listen to their voice, but I am too wrapped up in my own thoughts to pay much attention to them. Senara can explain it later.