I enjoyed this. But I'm not entirely sure what to say. I'm trying to pick apart the meaning behind it. But, I fail at crap like that sometimes.
Beautiful, as always.
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140,571 Literary Works • 673,516 Reviews
Mwha. Now that your poems are not completely pretentious, I find myself liking them more and more.
Why would he being the one knocking? In this case, I expect his mother to be the one knocking, as she is the one who is coming in. Or maybe I'm missing something...?
I love your voice, really I do.
But this one didn't quite fulfill your usual....ness.Yeah...
I guess it was a little too...expected?
"We thought about death,
the solidity of walls,
in cartoon ways. "
That was cool, as was
"The hardest part was raising
the window screen. "
But overall, I didn't find it as emotive par usual, or even quite as beautiful.
But all the same, it was a good piece.
In this stanza:
it was a little confusing because it seems like something should come before, as if there is something being "more surprised" at this action, yet there is no noun before it.
I don't think that this should end in a question mark, as it seems to be more of a statement than a question.
I liked these lines:
[side note] Because of the title, I was singing "Runaway" by Del Shannon as I read this. ^_^
Brilliant. Simply brilliant. I love this! I like the whole thing. What else can I say? *aplause*
Its definately well put together. I like it. Then again, I'm not to into poetry but I love poems that don't rythm. Don't know why. I like it though.