Be still
For this is the world
A once loud and vibrant place that has now been silenced by a self-distructive species
The light has dimmed
Stars have burned out
Color has faded
Time has stopped
Be still
For this is the world that will be forgotten
That if remembered will cause destruction once again
The sound of children's laughter, now silenced
The gift of life, taken for granted
World peace, ruined by the most oblivious
Kind souls, tortured with hate
Be still
For they look down on this world, the world they never knew they created
The world they never wanted to create
They never could have known, their vision clouded by their own selfishness
That so many lives were taken by their own hand, unaware of such oblivion
Be still
For this will be the last story to be told of our decaying world
From this life to the infinite truth, of a whisper and the most common connection, that killed thousands in an instant and millions in a life time
Most young and gracious,
destroyed by three innocent and simple words,
be still and be told...
Have you heard?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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I really liked this poem. I think it conveys a message that's on a lot of people's minds, especially now with global warming and people wasting so much of our resources. I think a lot of lines had very powerful images, and I could really see some of the things you were describing. The repetition of the phrase, "Be still" really helped keep it flowing, though I think everything would be more organized if you separated it into stanzas. I feel like it the words would have more of an impact if you organized it that way. Have you tried the shift-enter combination for spacing your lines? Then you can use the normal enter for the space between stanzas.
Otherwise, I have nothing to critique about this poem. I loved its wording and topic. Can't wait to see more from you!
Hello there! Firstly, I love your poem! The flow is very natural feeling so it was very easy to read.
By far, my favorite part was:
"For this is the world that will be forgotten
That if remembered will cause destruction once again"
I didn't see any errors, and besides, the best part of this poem was how well you captured your point and turned it into a lovely and poetic peice. Lastly, I'll just say, I loved how you continued each part with "Be still". It was very suiting. Good job, and I hope to read more from you soon!
Hello there! Firstly, I love your poem! The flow is very natural feeling so it was very easy to read.
By far, my favorite part was:
"For this is the world that will be forgotten
That if remembered will cause destruction once again"
I didn't see any errors, and besides, the best part of this poem was how well you captured your point and turned it into a lovely and poetic peice. Lastly, I'll just say, I loved how you continued each part with "Be still". It was very suiting. Good job, and I hope to read more from you soon!
This is great!
I really like it a lot. I love how you continue to repeat the, "Be still," part. This poem deals with something many people don't focus on-rumors. You're an amazing poet. You really are. I could never write something like this...Then again, I suck at poetry. But the point is that you did a great job. It flowed really nicely too! Keep up the great work (which I doubt you'll have trouble with), and good luck with your writing endeavors!
Thank Writer, I appreciate it!