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Be Still

Be still

For this is the world

A once loud and vibrant place that has now been silenced by a self-distructive species

The light has dimmed 

Stars have burned out

Color has faded

Time has stopped

Be still

For this is the world that will be forgotten 

That if remembered will cause destruction once again

The sound of children's laughter, now silenced

The gift of life, taken for granted

World peace, ruined by the most oblivious

Kind souls, tortured with hate

Be still

For they look down on this world, the world they never knew they created

The world they never wanted to create

They never could have known, their vision clouded by their own selfishness

That so many lives were taken by their own hand, unaware of such oblivion

Be still

For this will be the last story to be told of our decaying world

From this life to the infinite truth, of a whisper and the most common connection, that killed thousands in an instant and millions in a life time

Most young and gracious,

destroyed by three innocent and simple words,

be still and be told...

Have you heard?

Comments & reviews · 5
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User avatar
acm
Review
acm wrote a review · Tue Oct 13, 2015 1:40 am

I really liked this poem. I think it conveys a message that's on a lot of people's minds, especially now with global warming and people wasting so much of our resources. I think a lot of lines had very powerful images, and I could really see some of the things you were describing. The repetition of the phrase, "Be still" really helped keep it flowing, though I think everything would be more organized if you separated it into stanzas. I feel like it the words would have more of an impact if you organized it that way. Have you tried the shift-enter combination for spacing your lines? Then you can use the normal enter for the space between stanzas.
Otherwise, I have nothing to critique about this poem. I loved its wording and topic. Can't wait to see more from you!

User avatar
Winter257
Review

Hello there! Firstly, I love your poem! The flow is very natural feeling so it was very easy to read.
By far, my favorite part was:
"For this is the world that will be forgotten
That if remembered will cause destruction once again"
I didn't see any errors, and besides, the best part of this poem was how well you captured your point and turned it into a lovely and poetic peice. Lastly, I'll just say, I loved how you continued each part with "Be still". It was very suiting. Good job, and I hope to read more from you soon! (:

User avatar
Winter257
Comment

Hello there! Firstly, I love your poem! The flow is very natural feeling so it was very easy to read.
By far, my favorite part was:
"For this is the world that will be forgotten
That if remembered will cause destruction once again"
I didn't see any errors, and besides, the best part of this poem was how well you captured your point and turned it into a lovely and poetic peice. Lastly, I'll just say, I loved how you continued each part with "Be still". It was very suiting. Good job, and I hope to read more from you soon! (:

User avatar
Mageheart
Review

This is great!
I really like it a lot. I love how you continue to repeat the, "Be still," part. This poem deals with something many people don't focus on-rumors. You're an amazing poet. You really are. I could never write something like this...Then again, I suck at poetry. But the point is that you did a great job. It flowed really nicely too! Keep up the great work (which I doubt you'll have trouble with), and good luck with your writing endeavors!

Thank Writer, I appreciate it!



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