Young Writers Society

Hey Ellie a incoming review from jay and i came to drop a review on your poem on what i have read

so lets get in to it with your poem

First off Ellie your poem was amazing when i had read it and Ellie and i have a good line that i actually love in your poem Ellie I step into the mirror

Reality and existence intertwine

You are encircled with light

Burdened with my sorrows but Ellie keep up the great work and the effort that you had gave us



Second my compliment is Ellie you should be proud for what you do cause people showing love if a poem like this is really good Ellie and you worked on what you feel


and Ellie how you can improve is your work and keep writing your poems down and express your feelings on what you hear and what you feel deep inside Ellie but your poem was incredible Ellie you did your part

keep writing Ellie by jay but this was just a quick review Ellie!!

Hey Ellie! Incoming review!

I gotta love me some dark poetry. Let's get on with the review! I'll review stanza by stanza.

I step into the mirror

Reality and existence intertwine

You are encircled with light

Burdened with my sorrows

Dreaming,

My mind wanders to your grave.

Where I see my body.

You have flown away.

Moving at the speed of light,

As you lie in bed.

Your sheets are soaked with my tears

And my pain.

Depression holds you.

As you swim in the ocean

Of an excruciating life.

With a heart forever broken.

I liked the poem.Anything a that has to do with graves or just had that Halloweenie feel to it,then,I’m going to read it.It seems to me that the narrators feels grief for something that has happened.A loss,perhaps? Maybe a feeling of disconnection? It could be anything.My favorite parts were these lines:”Of excruciating life,with a heart forever broken.” Someone must have mourned the loss of the narrator.Good job and have a nice day.

Hi! I think this poem is very good, I'm just mildly confused on the meaning. I'll get to that in a second though. I love the diction in this poem. The way you phrase things is very elegant and it feels like I'm reading something almost sort of magical. I like the rhythm of your poem as well. It feels like a nice, flowing piece of writing. I like that there's no rhyme scheme because I feel like it captures the scene even better that way. I am just a little confused on the meaning of some of it. I can't tell who is dead and who is alive or who is the ghost or whatever spirit it is. On some parts it seems as if the speaker is the spirit wandering around and in other parts it seems as if the "you" is the spirit. Is one person or both people dead? Who is grieving who? At one point "you" is lying in a bed with sheets and the narrator is crying over them so is the person the narrator is referring to dead and the narrator just had an out of body experience while grieving? Your poem is very good, I just personally am not that great at analyzing poems lol. But all in all, I really enjoyed it. It was a very good read and I hope to see more poems from you! -Avery