Please note, this story is a novelette, so I intend it to have a quick pace 
Thank you for reading!
2. And the tongue of the dumb sing.
There was no way to remove the OpticLens chip from her brain without the risk of permanent damage, so they left it there. Eventually, the camera Joann had once worn on her head got put into a box in the back of her closet. And eventually, Joann moved out, bringing all of her stuff with her to college. And college is where Joann fell in love with Markus, a deaf man. You may wonder, how do a blind woman and a deaf man fall in love? The answer is, online. What started as an online friend from a community forum (Anyone got good recommendations for the best thrift store in the city? Every place I have gone SUCKS!), turned into so much more. The advancement of assistive technology for the blind is incredible. Joann’s phone would audibly dictate the words and options of her phone screen, allowing her to listen to messages and participate in online discussions (What happened at the east side of campus last night? I saw some guy getting cuffed and yelling at the cops! Something about god and shit). Markus and Joann got along so well. She was terrified to tell him that she was blind. What if he doesn't like me anymore? What if he doesn't… really like me… thought Joann. What a surprise she got, when in response to her telling Marcus she was blind, he told her that he was deaf! Relief and pain filled her heart. Relief, for a friend who understands frustration over the uncontrollable pains of life and loss. Pain, over the fact that she believed they could never be together. What was only a friendship, quickly turned into romantic feelings, for a love that felt impossible to even dream of.
Markus didn't seem to care. They started to stay up late into the night, talking about everything and anything. The conversation never died. It was Markus who said it first. “I love you, Joann.” These words made Joann cry. Harder than she had ever cried before. Every fantasy in her brain suddenly seemed possible. Everything that was out of reach felt like it had moved close enough that her fingertips could grace possibilities she had only dreamed of. She listened to his words with her working ears. He wrote them, using his eyes. Two totally different experiences of reality, but one shared love for each other.
They finally met in person. They continued to type words to communicate, but in person, they could touch each other. Oh, he smells so good, thought Joann, touching his shoulders with both of her hands. She moved her hands to his face. Smooth skin, probably freshly shaven. Dry lips. Soft skin under his eyes, that felt like touching a newborn baby. She felt his eyelids, his nose, and then put her arms around him and stayed there for a very long time. He kissed the side of her head, right by her temple, above her right ear. Warm skin met wet lips, for the very first time. She didn't need to see him. He didn't need to hear her. The emotions were all there. Only love was present, over any limitation that life brought to the table.
Love is perfect, isn't it? Until it’s not.
Please note, this story is a novelette, so I intend it to have a quick pace
Thank you for reading!
Hello hello I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. I've read a lot of poetry so I am excited to read your prose. However, I must apologize as I haven't read the first chapter so I might get something wrong. With that being said I think I should start this review properly. Let's get into it, shall we?
Overall I love the idea behind this straight off the bat. I am always up for a good scare and even more so for disabled representation. Sadly we dont see many disabled characters let alone Mcs. So me being excited is an understatement even if I am not blind I love there being a focus for once.
Also before I move on I want to thank you for showing those with disabilities can live on their own. I feel there is a long-standing stereotype of those with conditions like blindness always being infantilized and taken care of.
The biggest thing that caught my eye was the tech. It seems super cool like a camera that lets people see through a chip in their brain. Although fantastical I can see something like this slowly being developed in the next decade are so. I also enjoy how you added more grounded technology that is close to real aids blind people use like the phone reading off messages. It makes the world feel real as most sci-fi tends to ignore disabilities.
I also want to point out how adorable that romance is. A part of me understand that you wanted to keep the pacing quick but I do wish we got more tooth-rotting sweetness. However, I feel this is going to go sour quickly if this last line and title is anything to go by. You got me hooked nonetheless.
Now I want to move on to feedback. I promise that this going to be very short as I only have one thing to point out. As always I am not a professional nor do you have to use anything I say. You are the author after all!
Besides the things Kaia has said I could find one thing to put here. I will warn you that this is going to be nitpicky.
The first paragraph is very long and that comes off as a bit awkward. I would recommend separating this first paragraph into two smaller ones. Since the focus shifts from her experiences to her internal thoughts that's where I would split it up to make it flow better.
I hope that makes sense.
Regardless of that small nitpick I did thoroughly enjoy this piece. I can't wait to see what comes next and I am happy to free this from the green room. I hope you're doing well this Revmo!
As always keep writing and remember to drink water!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. WHAT??There was no way to remove the OpticLens chip from her brain without the risk of permanent damage, so they left it there.
Now let's get into it!So from this sentence and a few before I'm catching onto your writing style. You write as if it's being said by an ancient storyteller. I like that. It's a very casual and conversational style not often seen in more modern works.You may wonder, how do a blind woman and a deaf man fall in love? The answer is, online.
Quick note on this^ these two sentences should be put together.Markus and Joann got along so well. She was terrified to tell him that she was blind.
This is a great way to describe that in a quick, concise way.Everything that was out of reach felt like it had moved close enough that her fingertips could grace possibilities she had only dreamed of.
Now maybe this is just me, but the parathesis really through me off. I wasn't sure who was speaking. Was this the characters in the story? Was this the storyteller? Was this people in the background behind the storyteller? I even thought it was a note that you had written to yourself about editing this scene. Maybe it's clear if I had read the first chapter, but I do felt like that was pretty confusing.(What happened at the east side of campus last night? I saw some guy getting cuffed and yelling at the cops! Something about god and shit)
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