Butterfly! Part two..

by EllaBliss, kat13254

Published February 22, 2014

12+

In Life-Based

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Crystal;

I'm wandering alone during my free period, I ditched my friends in the bathroom, and Calem is who knows where! I can't face him now, or maybe even ever. I hope we're not over, I mean I told him no, but doesn't mean he wants it to end. He better not be with Daisy though, if he was they would be skipping class. It's third year's free period. First

years have trigonometry. That won't stop Calem though, he's done it before and he'll do it again. Why am I still thinking about him when I'm trying to get him off my mind in the first place? I see a group of people outside of trigonometry, including Calem and Daisy. He's pulling that same old trick his brother did in first year! Say coach needed some girls for stuff just to talk to them about a relationship! How dare he! He has a girlfriend!

"Calem!" He looks shocked to see me. What did he think I would be off finding a new boyfriend like he is!

"What do you want now!" There it is, his careless attitude.

"I've seen this before with your brother. Using your power as the football team captain to date..."

"That's not it at all! I sent you the text saying we need new cheerleaders! Coach couldn't find you so he asked me!"

"Girls! Wait what! New cheerleaders! Why are you talking to Daisy. She doesn't have cheer or leader skills!"

"Howdo you know? It's just the beginning of term!"

"Just look at her! Weak small arms! Allergic to flowers! And just look at her! Cheerleaders are supposed to be pretty, not trolls."

"The focus of cheerleading is not beauty, but motivating the football team by their incredible.. um."

"Um... what! Um isn't an answer Cay!"

"Look, I just have a feeling this is just the girl coach is looking for."

"Yeah, right. Totally."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Daisy;

After that, Calem continues dragging me down the hallway. He opens the door to the gymnasium. It's a huge, glamorous stadium that the student use for athletic activities.

"Here we are," he says.

"This place is amazing! I assume that the place where I did the entry test isn't the real gym?"

"Oh, of course not. That's backup, in case an accident happens."

"Hello, are you the first year that I sent Calem to retrieve," asks the coach.

"Yes, I'm Daisy. What do you need me for?"

"So you see, most of the cheerleading team graduated last year."

"So you need me? In middle school, I was cheer captain."

"Precicely. I have your old school records, and you're perfect for the team."

"Excuse me! I wasn't told about this little meeting," says Crystal from the door.

"I texted you. I guess you don't trust me after I comforted Daisy after you tripped her?"

"Yep, I blocked you."

"Exactly my point. So, it's your fault not mine."

"Anyways, back to business. You need me to be on the team," I said.

"Not really," says Crystal.

"Yes, we do," says coach. "If you're willing to join, you don't even have to do tryouts."

"I'm captain, I need to be there to judge our new hopefuls."

"Excuse me, Crystal? Are you protesting the coach's decisions," asks the coach.

"No. I'll do what you say," she replies quickly.

"Thanks, coach! I'll come to every practice," I say exitedly.

"Tryouts..." Crystal murmers under her breath.

_____________________________

Crystal;

I'm so frustrated! She just has to have EVERYTHING! Stupid Daisy! Urg!

"I'll go back to class. If I don't keep my grades up, I'll lose the scholarship," says Daisy. She rushes out of the gym, somehow looking graceful as she does so. How does she take everything from me just by joining our school community? I hate her so much!

"Well, I have free period. I have better stuff to do," I say. I walk out of the gym, too.

Hiding is my only way to get my feelings other than anger escape me. I hide in the bathroom sobbing about Daisy. If she were to take myboyfriend, or my cheer captain spot away, I would die. I can't let this happen, not after all my hard work to gain all this. I move to another room, in case

Someone walks in while I'm sitting in the abandoned music room.

"Go away!"

"Crystal is that you?" I can reconize the voice. It sounds like...

"Calem!"

"Yes. Is everything OK?"

"No! She stole everything from be just because.. I don't know!"

"That isn't it..."

"Yes it is!"

Just as I say that, a bunch of people walk in. I'd forgotten that this is used as a club room sometimes. The drama club is supposed to be going on right now.

"Oh sorry," I say. "Am I interrupting club time?"

"Maybe a little bit," says a familiar voice. Has Daisy joined Drama Club?

"Oh, I'll leave now." I run out.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
PeanutPhoebe
Review
PeanutPhoebe wrote a review Review · Feb 24, 2014

Great job once again! I noticed several typos, which can be easily fixed. Also, like the person before me said, your dialogue is uneven. You have a lot, and then you have a little. That needs a bit of work. I like how you seem to have a very specific plan in min for this story, (which is something I and a lot of other authors struggle with) leaving me and other readers begging for more. Keep writing!

Ps. Let me know again when the next chapter cones out!

User avatar
GreenTulip
Review
GreenTulip wrote a review Review · Feb 23, 2014

Hi, GreenTulip here for a review.

It is better than the first chapter, but it still needs work. Any work does. Please do not feel bad with me saying that.

1. The freaking splitting of the chapter inbetween people was distracted. I didn't much like it, but reading my review on Part 1 could have told you that.

2. I don't know what to put here.

So please... I don't know.

cherrycanwrite160 wrote a review Review · Feb 23, 2014

Okay first I would like to say, I really enjoyed chapter one! It is a nice more new book and has a fresh clean feeling. It seems like the author knows where she it going and I like that! One thing I would like to nitpick at though is that there seems to be too much dialogue and then not enough. Your focus seems to be too much on dialogue, and then to much on trying to make a smooth transition. I suggest reading over your work to make sure the chapter flows nice and even! But other than that I really liked it!

Note: I am typing on an ipad so bear with me typos!

-Laina/cherrycanwrite160



The very worst use of time is to do very well what need not be done at all.
— Benjamin Tregoe