I didn't look into a mirror for the past 40 years.
Even now, the memory of that awful, awful night stays with me, lingering at the back of my thoughts, preying upon my frayed nerves. I had all but given up trying to hurl it from my mind, and learnt to live with it as well as I could.
But the nightmares are always the same.
A group of children, my younger self included, assembled in a semi circle around a propped up mirror. We are giggling despite ourselves, and the oldest among us, a grave 8 - year - old holding a torch, flashes us a disapproving look. We quieten down.
It's an adventure in our eyes. We've never been up this late- it seems the whole country is asleep. A surge of pride runs through us whenever we glance at the clock.
Then it strikes. 12:13 am. Tense with anticipation, we fix our eyes upon the mirror. We stare. We wait.
Our eyes water up, yet we do not blink. We cannot blink. We are entranced by our reflection.
Seven minute passes. The clock reads 12:20 am. A shudder of apprehension and fear runs through us, yet none of us dares to admit this. The youngest among us let's out a small whimper.
And then... oh, that night, why did we do it? Why? What type of madness had taken hold of us?
Our reflections changes between our very eyes. But not in the way we would have thought. Our skin does not mould and slide of our faces. Our eyes does not burn red.
What we- they- do was to drop in their knees and slowly crawl towards us, eyes never leaving our faces.
We switch off the light instantly.
The grown-ups had found us cowering and in tears the following morning, and chiding us gently, they brought us to our respective homes.
The last time I looked upon a mirror was two weeks after the incident. It was quite by accident. My eyes had flicked in my reflections direction, and, just as I was about to turn away- and this was not just fanciful imagination, for I saw what I saw. And it was enough to scar me for all of eternity.
It blinked.
* * * * * *
I do not deny that this short story is not exactly original. Mirror stories had entranced me for years, and this was merely my own version of them. I wrote this very early in the morning (since it was free to submit pieces of work here) while still half asleep. Perhaps it's not the best of qualities, but still, I hope you enjoyed it.
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140,967 Literary Works • 673,797 Reviews
Hey, hello, hi!!
Okay so looking this over and I thought it was wonderful I kind of got chills running up and down my spine reading it. But I think this would have done much better in a third person perspective and just a bit more detailed. But my interest is very much peaked. I know there are many mirror stories. Not just Fiction but urban legends such as Bloody Mary. Is that where you got the idea for your story or was it something that came to you? Either way it was a very good read. But I wonder, why did the children feel the need to look in the mirror to begin with? Maybe you should elaborate a bit on it. But like I said a very good read!!
I did enjoy this!
Hey there!
Dreamy here to review! This was a cool story. I liked it. I'm going to keep all the typos aside and review on the idea. The idea of making the mirror a character was cool. I just thought, maybe, just maybe, if you tried to narrate the story in third person maybe, you could have covered most of the part. Like, why the kids were staring at the mirror in the first place.
And who is the 8 year old, why he/she is being very authoritative.
I understand that you are being precise but description on few more things like these would intrigue your readers and that itself will give your MC a definition.
Anyways, I still like this version of the story.
Keep writing!
Cheers!
Hey Dreamy, thanks for reviewing! Now that I think about it, you are right, and I ought to have used 3rd person. Unfortunately I didn't think about it at the time!
That's okay. You now know. :B
Hi!
I really liked your piece, it is beautifull written and the story was a pleasure to read.
I also enjoyed your style of writing, it gave a different theme to your story, as if you were really telling us, like a bedtime yet horror story.
Great use of shot sentences. It really builds up suspense for the reader.
*minuteS pass
*dare
*lets Let's means "let us" like "let's go" is "let us go"
Do you mean before your very eyes?
*do
*to their knees
I loved your last line! That was awesome!
Keep up your writing, just make sure you re-read it before submitting it since there were quite a few typos in there which are easy to make and easy to correct.
Hey, thanks for reviewing! Yeah, I know I did quite a lot of typo's. That's what I get for writing at 4:30 am!