In those time when you held me and told me that you loved me.
Those words made me happy, I was so glad that I have found someone that cared about me.
Then the foul stench of lies have reached into your heart and turned against me.
You took my heart and ripped it into pieces.
I tried to make you see reason, yet you pushed me away!
How I loved you at that time.
Until you had another behind my back.
How I hated you for breaking my heart, the poison you left in my heart.
Gives me more the reason why I should hate you until the end of time.
Once upon in our life I was your love.
Now, I'm your worst nightmare, yet I know I can't be.
My heart aches, I cried so much and times I felt like life was meaningless.
I cried that I would never love like once did , believing that love would never melt the ice from my heart.
You left a scar, my heart would never mend again.
For I loved you with my whole being and you gave me up so easily.
Even though I still forgave you.
But you left a mark in my life one that will haunt me.
One day. . . Your heart will be broken as well like mines.
Hopefully one day you will learn my pain, my tears, my love, trust.
I don't regret loving you.
Once Upon A Time....
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
Hey, I loved it! It sounds so real and in the first stanza it painted a picture for me! i loved it keep writing
beautiful, i loved it. mesmerizing at least for me. The name says it all, leve sacers. Great description
Hi!
I was too absorbed in the poem to find mistakes.
I'm not good at this, but the expressive nature of your poem is impressive.
I liked the following lines...
Now, I'm your worst nightmare, yet I know I can't be.
My heart aches, I cried so much and times I felt like life was meaningless.
I cried that I would never love like once did , believing that love would never melt the ice from my heart.
You left a scar, my heart would never mend again.
Keep writing!
I don't really understand your use of 'those time' i think you mean 'those times'. And after 'loved me' should be a period, not a comma.
Those words made me happy, and I was [strike]so[/strike] glad that i had found someone that cared [strike]about me[/strike]
What lies? You go a little sudden. What happened between this girl and her boyfriend?
Maybe you could get rid of the !, because it makes it sound a little cheesy.
This is a question, so punctuate it properly.
you use 'heart' twice in one sentence. find another synonym.
Why I shouldn't hate you?
Once upon a time?
Okay, this a really great poem - I like the message. It's cute and It could speak to a lot of people. Just fix those grammar mistakes.