So many people are in it
so many like falling into it
so many just fond of the idea
not even knowing where it heads to
well, it's called love.
Is it necessary to know what it is?
people say, it just happens!
I say, you don't know anything!
yes, I'm unaware of the definitions of love
but, others don't also know
though, they don't hesitate to go,
they keep running after it.
It's stupidity, you know
I say, never do this,
when it's with a person, double no!
you can love books, sky, stars or even cars,
but, these are far more better than to tell
"I love him" or
"I love her."
It's gonna be your weakness
even though, for once, you'll feel the strength
but later, you'll end up having a trauma
will feel like a part of a cheap drama.
So, I say, love your life and yourself
how many days you'll be alive?
Take 100, max?
So, live it, love the earth,
wanna go reckless, go for it!
And love again? Knocking at the door?
Please, shoo shoo it!
**If there are grammatical mistakes, let me know. I'll edit. And, I don't know but, are you being mad at me? I'm sorry!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,008 Literary Works • 672,830 Reviews
I do like that you brought this up. That question of how important romantic love between people really is.
I think your thoughts are all over the place here and you could branch out or condense this a lot more. Because this poem's pretty scattered right now, and that makes it hard to concentrate on it. you feel like your brain is pulled apart and you don't know which piece of it to cling on to.
I love that you stated that no one knows what love really is(which is why we shouldn't be putting it on a pedestal). I know what you mean, but I think you could explain that a bit more clearly. Because a lot of people DO think they know what love means, you have to explain that what you're talking about is different than a just definition in a dictionary.
some words rhymed here, while others didn't. You did say it had grammar issues, but the rhyming, you need to solidify...are you gonna use it, or not? You can't create a 'happy medium' with rhyming. If you rhymed words accidentally, you should change those words.
you said, "how many days you'll be alive?..100 max?" remember to change 'days' to years. that's a biggie.
overall i loved the idea, and with some refining, it could become a great poem. Happy writing!
-Satira
Thank you, I'm thinking on your suggestions, thanks for those, and yes, I also feel that the poem's pretty much scattered.