Published November 27, 2009
I don’t know if the lecturer is listening to me
I’m sending out thoughts telepathically
wondering where he bought his PHD.
But the empty vases beside me won’t agree,
guess university brainwashing
washed over me.
Don’t get me wrong there are ferns and copper leaves
academics meeting for coffee ‘neath the shelter of trees
they’re all learning things worth learning
but inside myself the two roads are diverging
And I hold the slow burning epiphany
that I should have done an English degree.
The un-read books begin to swell,
the pages rot and start to smell.
I’m sorry but this course just ain’t romancing me
getting its kicks from kicking the sense out of me
why do you have to do everything so scientifically?
Pull down the sails and start to float free!
someday I’ll give them a piece of my mind,
but in another time
when jobs out there
are easier to find.
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141,254 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
But, but! Science is awesome!
This poem reminded me of Walt Whitman's When I Heard the Learn'd Astronomer... which is a good thing! I like that poem. However, I would like you to be more specific in this case. What degree is the person going for, besides English? Even just description of what the narrator's doing (besides hanging out) would be immensely helpful to know. That way, we can really understand the situation better.
Still! Fun poem! A star for you!
Maybe I'm out of my mind, but I think you should delete all this and see if your poem carries the same meaning.
Also, do you "do" English degrees? Or do you get them? Because "I should have done an English degree" sounds odd.
On a different note, professional writers always say that, if you want to be a writer, major in something other than writing. So you have a bank of knowledge to dip into when you write. Or else you have a toolbox and no building materials.
But that's just what they say. Great job and keep writing
Empress
Eimear,
I like the lyrical quality of it, and the style just reveals so much voice and character, so I applaud you for that. I also liked how you played around and reversed the semantics in such lines like:
I absolutely love this, it's so very true of our time.
"guess university brainwashing/ washed over me."
"getting its kicks from kicking the sense out of me"
My only complain was this line:
Which just stood out and seemed weak compared to the rest of it. I think the problem is that the entire poem has an ending rhyme scheme of --ee or --ing sound except at that point where it just suddenly stopped. The ending also deviates from this rhyme scheme, but it works in the end because it gives a more dramatic pause and makes it stand out more- whereas there it just seemed placed there last minute, and really, it wouldn't affect the poem too much if it were removed.
Anyway great job with this, and keep writing!
~ Audy
Hi there Eimear. I'm Conrad.
So, I really kind of like this poem, mostly because I am finding myself in the same position as the speaker in university. As far as stylistically though, I love the matter-of-fact way that you go through the poem. It kind of bounces along as you read it, and I like that. It falters a little towards the end though, so you might want to punch that up a bit.
All in all, a good work that you have here. PM me if you have any questions or comments.
Good job, and good luck.
-Conrad Rice