A Declaration of Love

This is a wonderful poem! The poetic devices used really added to the emotion being conveyed, and you used a great sense of imagery too. I especially like the lines leading up to "I need you". I feel like that line is perfectly placed and it sounds just right when spoken through.

So, that first part leading up to "I need you" is really good... but then I feel like the effect kind of slows with the last four lines. I think using the metaphor of time relating to love is a great idea... but maybe it can be worded more like the first stanza - ending off on another powerful, short sentence like the "I need you". Of course, the last two lines use the same words, so it's a little clumsy there... but I think you are on the right track!

Overall, I really loved this! With the first part already sounding so good, I'm sure the second part will be even better!

The begining of the poem was great especially starting with a simile, but it definently was a little tough going into the second line. Even though the flow was there I wish you could have extended the simile a little more into the second line and then went on to needing, and missing. The last line was a little off, I always feel like the last line in a poem should tie it together and even tho yours did do that it didn't go with the flow and it seemed repetitive in the way the line before it was, but all together it was very raw and held emotion and truth which is something that not all poems contain anymore so I am glad to see that this one does.

Hello! Welcome back to the poetry gig.

And a lovely start to your comeback! You have a sweet piece here that expresses the emotion of loneliness rather well. It's like an exercise of metaphors here that complement the theme very nicely.

The first half was fantastic to me. I loved the imagery you used here, sticking with the theme of nature and utilizing several images to express the emotion. They were simple and relatable. I particularly liked how the metaphors started out descriptive and narrowed down to the "I need you" line. It was a smooth progression that seemed to hit home.

The second half felt a little clunky to me though, so I'd recommend revising this bit. I like the idea of using the seasons as your next metaphor/image here. I see where it's going, and I like the direction it's taking. I think it can be rewritten though to better complement the first half. In fact, I might have bigger beef with just the last two lines. Again, I see what it's trying to say, I think it could simply be expressed better. They sound too alike yet too different. Maybe the last line just needs more punch to it rather than this drawn out thought. I'm not really sure, and you could honestly go several different directions with this. I'll just suggest chewing on it a bit.

I think it's a lovely piece though. You have some great stuff here. All it needs is a stellar finish!

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

Hey there
First off, I thought that the imagery in this poem was very strong and came across very well. I loved that you compared emotions to nature and the ocean. It came across like it really meant a lot, which is always good.
I think the rhyme scheme could do with some work- you rhymed the last three stanza's but no others. It made it feel a little clumsy.
The structure was alright, it could do with a little work too. Just be weary that the line "My feelings never will" kind of disrupts the structure you had created.
However, despite that, it was a great poem!