Hey Erza!
Shady here with a review for you this fine morning. c:
I like the overall topic of this essay. Smiling. It's interesting, and I didn't know about the whole 19 different types of smiles thing, so that was cool to learn. You've also got an interesting idea, about smiling makes you live longer. So, yeah, I like it.
However, it's a bit rough around the edges.
I'll point out a few specific examples, though, I'll try to keep it to general points.
So, here we go...
~ Don't you mean 'if' not 'is'?It's as is smiles
"Its" is possessive. "That is its doghouse."
"It's" is a contraction for 'it is'. "It's too hot to touch the tin roof of the doghouse."
~ Should.each smile shiuld have a reason.
And you should run this through a spellchecker before you post. Word Docs usually will point out problems with Its vs It's too. c:
~ I think I'd rephrase this to read "Scientists say that there are nineteen types of smiles. But who, aside from them, ever counts?"The scientists say that there are 19 types of smiles but who count (other than them of course..) ?
~ You've got several run-on sentences.Even a baby can smile[b]. So let us not be lazy, or scared, and smile cheerfully to light up the world with happiness.
Alright. I'm bad at giving general overviews. I'm also bad at ending reviews.
~Shady
Points: 2806
Reviews: 935
Donate