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The dictator of fate

by EPICnumber1


I sit up against the wall,

crying, screaming

watching you cause a murderous display,

watching you drag your whip along their backs

and for them, tonight I will pray.

Then watch you cover up your murderous tracks.

-

You can tell them all the lies you like,

but they know the truth.

That's why they scream and shout,

so you murdered them in their youth.

-

You know the wrongs you do

but you dismiss it with your deathly cackle.

You hands are bloody with so many peoples blood

but you wipe it on your army suit.

-

You make us march in the mud,

you make us march while you shoot.

I used to have a family; a mother and father,

but you dragged them away from me.

You made me watch their slaughter,

and then you laughed triumphantly

and then you smiled with glee.

-

Your eagle eyes watching me

memorising my every movement

scanning my concaved face

and my bleeding scars.

-

I used to have friends as well,

but you killed them too.

so now it's only me in this empty cell,

you left me with no clue.

That's how I feel,

empty inside,

because you laughed when I cried,

and you cheered when they died.

-

I won't let you dictate my fate

because you underestimate me.

You have no idea what I can create,

and I don't care if you don't agree.

-

You can hurt me all you like

take away my family and friends

because you can't hurt me on the inside.

 Feel a soundless hatred descend.

-

The pain I can endure is unlimited

and my hope is infinite

you can't take way hope

because it's my instrument.

-

I know your game

because I played it long ago

and it only brought me shame,

it only brought me woe.

-

We all know your name

we knew it from the very first day

it 's hot like a flame and brought you joy and fame

yes I am talking to you dictator of fate.


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35 Reviews


Points: 493
Reviews: 35

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Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:52 am
Mew2x wrote a review...



Oh lol i just recently reviewed your poem called Fear. Its like you're into writing dark poems, right? :) okay, here is my review. Actually I really love this poem. It has dark feeling to it.

My favorite part is:

"The pain I can endure is unlimited
and my hope is infinite
you can't take way hope
because it's my instrument."

I think the persona has a strong pride. And I can really relate to that.

The line:

"You can't take way hope"

I think you meant:

"You can't take away hope"

So that's it! :D Great poem! I enjoyed it :D




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351 Reviews


Points: 11482
Reviews: 351

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Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:49 am
Kanome wrote a review...



Hello, Kanome here with a review.

This poem is very saddening...
Even though man himself was part of their religion, he tortured them till the very end. I am surprised he wasn't placed in prison was genocide. Maybe because he was the Dictator of Nazi Germany? I don't know...

I noticed one nitpick in here.
The word peoples, make sure you put an apostrophe in it. You are using a possessive, so make sure you insert those kind of things in your work.

I almost cried when I read this poem. There are people out there today who last their friends and family due to the Holocaust, when they didn't deserve it. All because they were different from everyone else, even though the whole world is different. Race, Religion, Gender, Sexuality, you name it.
No one shouldn't have to suffer because of a man's opinion, Dictator or not.

All in all, this was an inspiring piece.
Keep up the great work.
I can't wait to read more.

Kanome




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173 Reviews


Points: 9984
Reviews: 173

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Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:48 am
donizback wrote a review...



My goodness! That was really very awesome. I felt like I am right next to the subject matter and I am feeling what he has felt. Good job this is work dude.

The title of the poem was really awesome. After reading the title, I had to come inside to read what this amazing title has hidden and believe me, I am not disappointed. Well done on picking a really good title.

The poem itself was really good. The description, the use of proper words, and it's structure made it a really good poem. Although I feel there could be some improvement in the punctuation being used (Sorry! I cannot really point out all of them here) but it still looks okay.

The structure was odd and it was good. It suited your poem really well. I liked it. But wait, do you know you can make it look better? I mean, how about trying to press the "shift" key along with the enter "key" and bring the sentences closer to each other, in a stanza!

Overall, it was a really good attempt and the depth was really good. I don't really like really long poems but this one, although being long, was really superb.
Keep writing. Good luck :)




EPICnumber1 says...


Thanks :)




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