I sit up against the wall,
crying, screaming
watching you cause a murderous display,
watching you drag your whip along their backs
and for them, tonight I will pray.
Then watch you cover up your murderous tracks.
-
You can tell them all the lies you like,
but they know the truth.
That's why they scream and shout,
so you murdered them in their youth.
-
You know the wrongs you do
but you dismiss it with your deathly cackle.
You hands are bloody with so many peoples blood
but you wipe it on your army suit.
-
You make us march in the mud,
you make us march while you shoot.
I used to have a family; a mother and father,
but you dragged them away from me.
You made me watch their slaughter,
and then you laughed triumphantly
and then you smiled with glee.
-
Your eagle eyes watching me
memorising my every movement
scanning my concaved face
and my bleeding scars.
-
I used to have friends as well,
but you killed them too.
so now it's only me in this empty cell,
you left me with no clue.
That's how I feel,
empty inside,
because you laughed when I cried,
and you cheered when they died.
-
I won't let you dictate my fate
because you underestimate me.
You have no idea what I can create,
and I don't care if you don't agree.
-
You can hurt me all you like
take away my family and friends
because you can't hurt me on the inside.
Feel a soundless hatred descend.
-
The pain I can endure is unlimited
and my hope is infinite
you can't take way hope
because it's my instrument.
-
I know your game
because I played it long ago
and it only brought me shame,
it only brought me woe.
-
We all know your name
we knew it from the very first day
it 's hot like a flame and brought you joy and fame
yes I am talking to you dictator of fate.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,007 Literary Works • 672,819 Reviews
Oh lol i just recently reviewed your poem called Fear. Its like you're into writing dark poems, right?
okay, here is my review. Actually I really love this poem. It has dark feeling to it.
Great poem! I enjoyed it 
My favorite part is:
"The pain I can endure is unlimited
and my hope is infinite
you can't take way hope
because it's my instrument."
I think the persona has a strong pride. And I can really relate to that.
The line:
"You can't take way hope"
I think you meant:
"You can't take away hope"
So that's it!
Hello, Kanome here with a review.
This poem is very saddening...
Even though man himself was part of their religion, he tortured them till the very end. I am surprised he wasn't placed in prison was genocide. Maybe because he was the Dictator of Nazi Germany? I don't know...
I noticed one nitpick in here.
The word peoples, make sure you put an apostrophe in it. You are using a possessive, so make sure you insert those kind of things in your work.
I almost cried when I read this poem. There are people out there today who last their friends and family due to the Holocaust, when they didn't deserve it. All because they were different from everyone else, even though the whole world is different. Race, Religion, Gender, Sexuality, you name it.
No one shouldn't have to suffer because of a man's opinion, Dictator or not.
All in all, this was an inspiring piece.
Keep up the great work.
I can't wait to read more.
Kanome
My goodness! That was really very awesome. I felt like I am right next to the subject matter and I am feeling what he has felt. Good job this is work dude.
The title of the poem was really awesome. After reading the title, I had to come inside to read what this amazing title has hidden and believe me, I am not disappointed. Well done on picking a really good title.
The poem itself was really good. The description, the use of proper words, and it's structure made it a really good poem. Although I feel there could be some improvement in the punctuation being used (Sorry! I cannot really point out all of them here) but it still looks okay.
The structure was odd and it was good. It suited your poem really well. I liked it. But wait, do you know you can make it look better? I mean, how about trying to press the "shift" key along with the enter "key" and bring the sentences closer to each other, in a stanza!
Overall, it was a really good attempt and the depth was really good. I don't really like really long poems but this one, although being long, was really superb.
Keep writing. Good luck
Thanks