By the End of the Day

by DystopianMan

Published August 5, 2026

12+

George Adams awoke, his head still in the memory that had haunted him for the last 4 years. He hated waking up in his bed alone, which seemed to become bigger by the minute. It took a while for him to get used to being referred to as George Adams. When he entered the witness protection program, he was given a brand new identity. George knew that there was nothing he could have done to change what had happened that day, but he still felt that it was his fault. Nobody knew why this killer decided to go after his family, but for some reason, he had. On mornings like these, instead of getting up and being active like his therapist suggested, he would just live in his memories. Sometimes, he would be at the park pushing his little girl, Dahlia, on the swings, other times he was at the beach with his beautiful wife, Olivia.

George had gone through the scenario in his head a million times, but never seemed to find the right answer. He felt a little better when the police department announced about a year ago that the famous murderer, the one who had murdered his wife and daughter, had been caught. This particular serial killer, also known as the Countdown Killer, became famous because of his method; he would send an anonymous letter to the press stating he would murder a specific person or family within a certain time frame, and sure enough, he never failed.

George was watching the news on that fateful day when the announcement came that the Baker family, that was his last name before he entered WITSEC, was in grave danger, and that police help was on the way. The killer had said they would all be dead by the end of the day. George moved quickly, picking up his daughter from school and getting his wife from her work. He brought them home and explained the situation. His wife was terrified, but his daughter did not seem to get it right away, as she was only 5 years old, and George had to remind himself of that every day. Once the police arrived, he was told the six officers would remain with him until the situation was resolved. And so they did; they split up into three groups of two, with two out front, two in the backyard, and two inside the house with them, all communicating via walkie-talkie. 

“If he shows up, we'll be ready for it,” the commanding officer on duty said. 

“They couldn't have been more wrong,” George thought. It was 10 pm when they heard the noise coming from the backyard.

“Did anyone else hear that?” said Officer One from the backyard.

“He’s coming through the ba-!” silence over the walkie.

“Brace yoursel-!” said the other officer from the backyard before the walkie went silent. George ran to the slider that looked out at the backyard and saw the dead bodies of the two officers; they had both been shot through the head. It was a horrible sight, but he had no time to feel sick; he did a quick look around the backyard, but the killer wasn't in sight.

“Daddy, what's happening?” said little Dahlia.

“Nothing, sweetie, it's all going to be okay,” she hadn’t seen the bodies outside, and George didn't want her to, so he quickly closed the curtains. That’s when he heard the walkies go off again.

“He came back around the front, get the family upstairs now!” said an Officer from the front yard. George didn’t have to think twice before grabbing Dahlia and making sure they all got upstairs. One of the two officers who were posted in the house went up behind them. George heard gunfire and screams over the walkie, and he knew that both the officers out front were dead.

“Get the wife and kid in the closet, you stay, take this,” he said to George, handing him a gun.

“I need hel-!” George heard the officer downstairs yell just before he heard the sickening sound of a bullet finding its mark.

“Stand guard, he’s gonna try and come up here!” The officer yelled at George. So they pointed their weapons at the door and stood there waiting for him to try to break in. He didn’t make a sound coming up the stairs; all George heard was the sound of a gun firing and a bullet going through the door and straight at the officer to his left. George shot repeatedly at the door, hoping to hit him, but he wasn't that lucky.

“How could I have been so stupid?” George thought. Whoever this man was, he was clearly a trained professional because the second he broke through the door the first shot he fired at George hit him straight in the gut. George doubled over in pain and fell to the floor. He put his hand to his stomach to try and stop the bleeding, and he stood up only to see that he had been one second too late. The horrible scene of Olivia and Dahlia dead is what he saw just before he fell to the floor.

“Too easy,” said the Countdown Killer. And then George passed out.

That image of his family dead on the floor still seemed like it was burned on the back of his eyelids. When he joined WITSEC, he asked them to move him as far away as possible, he was foolish enough to think he could escape the pain. He had an appointment with his therapist, Dr. Rhodes, tonight, but he didn’t know if he would go. He just decided to take the day one step at a time. Get up. Get dressed. Go out. Socialize. That was what Dr. Rhodes told him to do, so that’s what he did: he got out of bed, got dressed, and decided to text his friend Luke to see if he wanted to go out. Next thing he knew, he was sitting in a Denny’s with his best friend. They discussed all the usual topics, such as sports and the news, but George couldn’t help but notice that something was amiss with Luke today; he seemed a little nervous and hesitant to share anything about what he’s been doing. This was very out of the ordinary because Luke had always been a very outgoing person. At one point, George asked what he did yesterday, and Luke completely ignored the question, but he didn't think much of it. That night, George went home and did what he always does. He turned on the TV and ordered pizza, while he was on the phone with the pizzeria, something the newsman said on TV caught his attention.

“Today, we have a very urgent story. Jonathan Rodriguez, also known as the Countdown Killer, has escaped prison. This man is an ex-Navy SEAL sniper. He is wanted for 37 homicides. We do not know where he is heading, but to anybody watching this, we advise taking extra precautions.” George was terrified; he knew exactly where he was heading, and as if to confirm this, he heard the phone ring. A voice he heard every night in his nightmares began to speak.

“I’m coming back to finish what I started, and I will be done by the end of the day,” and at that, the phone went silent. George told himself he had to make a decision.

I can either cower in fear, or I can stand up to this psychopath.” He chose the latter, and dialled 911.

“We already have a SWAT team on the way. We know what this man is capable of, and we are not taking any chances,” said the 911 operator.

“Good,” George said and hung up.

We're gonna get this guy,” he thought to himself. About 30 minutes later a SWAT team of 9 people showed up, and they put up a barrier around the house and had 6 snipers stationed around the house. It was 11 pm, and George was starting to think maybe the killer had a change of plans, when suddenly explosions coming from all around the house shook the ground, knocking George to the floor.

“He escaped prison today. Who could have planted these bombs?” George thought. 

“Luke!” Luke, whom George thought was his best friend, must have planted the bombs. He was his only friend who knew where he lived

“I wonder how much he had to pay him.”

“We just saw the explosions go off. Does anybody copy?” said one of the snipers via walkie-talkie.

“Everybody inside the house is okay, but I don't think I can say the same for everybody outside.” Said the commanding officer who stayed inside with George. He started to speak again. 

“I’m going to take two officers out with me, and we're going to catch this guy before he gets inside. Here, George, take this.” He handed him a gun, and no response over the walkie, George knew them leaving wasn’t a good idea, but he decided the Chief knew what was best.

Why do they give me a gun that clearly didn’t work last time?” About five seconds after they stepped out the door, the second round of explosions went off, knocking everyone inside to the floor. George didn’t have to look outside to know they had all been killed. But the two officers with him didn’t seem to think the same thing. They both ran up to the door to see what had happened, and that’s when two bullets came through the glass, killing both officers. George’s first instinct was to run in the opposite direction, but as he should have known by now, the killer was always one step ahead of him. The second he turned around, he heard the voice.

“Where are you going, Max?” Just the mention of his past life’s name sent shivers down his spine. And that’s when he remembered that he told himself wasn’t going to run; he was going to fight. So he stood there and aimed the gun straight at his head.

“Wow, look at you, Max, since when are you a fighter?”

“Since you killed my family,” and at that, George pulled the trigger.

It took George Adams, formerly known as Max Baker, a moment to realize what had just happened; he had killed the man who murdered his wife, Olivia Baker, and his 5-year-old daughter, Dahlia Baker. It was horrible, but it also gave him a sense of completeness. When George went to bed that night, he didn’t dream of his wife and daughter dead on the floor; the only image stuck in his mind was the letter they found in The Countdown Killer’s front pocket, which was neatly addressed to Max Baker. It read.

“To Max Baker

You're just like me now, Max. You have become a murderer. The first time you kill somebody, there is no going back. You are and forever will be a murderer, so now you have to decide to either stay a murderer or try and deny that part of your life, that killer instinct that’s secretly inside everybody. So, what are you going to do? Are you going to keep pretending, or are you going to take up my mantle, feed that killer instinct, and become who you truly are? Good luck with your decision.

Sincerely, The Countdown Killer.”

It was a hard decision for Max, but the deciding factor had been the feeling he got when he pulled the trigger, that feeling, that urge that came over him, he realized that he wanted more, and more, so like his decision before, Max chose the latter. The next day there was a new headline on the news.

“Countdown killer thought to be dead sent his next letter.”

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Messenger
Review
Messenger wrote a review Review · 10m ago

hi dystopia! welcome to yws. Let's hop right in, shall we?

This particular serial killer, also known as the Countdown Killer,

We dont need the AKA because we haven't been given a primary name, and it would help with flow to remove it.

On mornings like these, instead of getting up and being active like his therapist suggested,

On mornings like what? Because it seems that George has these dreams a lot, so are we referring to anything external? Weather? The sound of his alarm? The silence and the cloxk ticking in the hall?

George was watching the news on that fateful day when the announcement came that the Baker family, that was his last name

We dont need "that was his last name". We con infer it. And also, I would loke.to see Max be brought up as a name.herr, because as it is, it doesnt really connect when the CK says it later because we arent invited into that part of the story the first time.

“They couldn't have been more wrong,”

Thoughts in italics dont also need quotation marks, neither do they need thought tags like "he thought" or "he pondered".

had both been shot through the head

There's no mention of gunshots here at the beginning of the assault.

said an Officer from the front yard

Officer doesnt need to be capitalized.

That night, George went home and did what he always does.

Oops, looks Ike you slipped into present tense with "does" instead of did.

He turned on the TV and ordered pizza, while he was on the phone with the pizzeria, something the newsman said on TV caught his attention.

Should be a period after pizza.

and as if to confirm this, he heard the phone ring.

But I thought he was already on the phone with the pizzeria?

George knew them leaving wasn’t a good idea, but he decided the Chief knew what was best.

This is a bit contradictory because you use strong language. George KNEW. That's emphatic. So following it up with him being deferential to the chief doesnt make sense.

“Why do they give me a gun that clearly didn’t work last time?”

Need a question mark after gun, and period after last time.

So he stood there and aimed the gun straight at his head.

Whoa you kind of lost me.on where people are in the space. Things are blowing up out feont and there are supposedly snipers all around outside, but then CK somehow gets in a back entrance we havent even heard of. And now Max is aiming at his head?

It was a hard decision for Max, but the deciding factor had been the feeling he got when he pulled the trigger, that feeling, that urge that came over him, he realized that he wanted more, and more, so like his decision before, Max chose the latter. The next day there was a new headline on the news.

This is some real tonal whiplash. All we've seen from Max is regret and fear. Nothing about any of his encounters has built on that leading to him being a serial killer. What is the motivation? Who would he even be targeting? When he shoots CK he seems sick about it, but then now he likes the feeling he got?
I get that a lot of horror stories end on a twist or "hey the killer is still out there" but the scene just completely zooms through the aftermath and left me in the dust trying to keep up with Max's character devolution.


~Messy

User avatar
RatHat
Review
RatHat wrote a review Review · 2h ago

Hi Dystopian it is a pleasure to meet you!

George Adams awoke, his head still in the memory that had haunted him for the last 4 years. He hated waking up in his bed alone, which seemed to become bigger by the minute.


This opening does its job well. You get the grief and the loneliness right away without it being overdone. The bed getting bigger is a small detail but it does well in establishing what we need to know about this guy right now.

This particular serial killer, also known as the Countdown Killer, became famous because of his method; he would send an anonymous letter to the press stating he would murder a specific person or family within a certain time frame, and sure enough, he never failed.


The concept of the Countdown Killer is strong and it drives the whole story. The ticking clock element gives everything urgency even in the slower moments. My one note here is that the backstory comes in big chunks of explanation rather than being woven into the action. There are moments where the story stops moving to fill the reader in, and I think some of that information could be revealed through dialogue or smaller details instead of laid out directly. It would keep the pacing tighter.

"He's coming through the ba-!" silence over the walkie. "Brace yoursel-!" said the other officer from the backyard before the walkie went silent.


This is where the tension really picks up and I think it is the strongest section of the whole piece. The walkie-talkie cutting out is a smart device because you feel the danger without seeing it directly. The killer stays invisible for most of the story and that makes him scarier than any description would. You let the reader's imagination do the work and that is a good instinct.

"Too easy," said the Countdown Killer.


This line tells you everything about who this person is. Cold, confident, bored almost. That restraint works really well here.

"Since you killed my family," and at that, George pulled the trigger.


The buildup to this moment works because you spent the whole story showing George as someone who freezes, who watches things happen to him. So when he finally acts it feels earned. The tension throughout the second half kept me reading because I genuinely did not know if he was going to make it this time or not. That is hard to pull off when the reader already knows the character survived the first attack.

"You're just like me now, Max. You have become a murderer..."


The letter is a bold ending and I think the idea behind it is solid. Turning the hero into the next villain is a dark twist and it fits the tone. My concern is that George's decision to take up the mantle happens very fast. He goes from grieving father to choosing to become a killer in a few sentences. I think that moment needs more space. Even a paragraph of him wrestling with it, maybe a flash of Dahlia's face or Olivia's voice, something that shows the weight of what he is giving up

It also reminds me of Joker and Batman almost and their relationship.

The pacing and tension are the biggest strengths here. You know how to keep a scene moving and how to make the reader feel like something bad is about to happen. The Countdown Killer as a concept is compelling and the walkie-talkie sequences are genuinely suspenseful. The story also does a good job of making George feel like a real person in the quieter moments, the Denny's scene with Luke, the pizza and TV routine. Those small things ground him to reality in my eyes.

Where I would focus in revision is the exposition. There are spots where the story pauses to explain things that could be shown through action or dialogue instead. The Luke betrayal is also set up well but resolved quickly. I think that relationship could be explored a little more since it is the only real friendship George has. And the ending needs more room to breathe so the reader feels the full weight of that choice.

Honestly, I feel like this would be better if it wasn't a short story.

Strong work though. The tension kept me locked in the whole way through and the twist at the end stuck with me. Keep writing.



To have more, you have to become more. Don't wish it was easier - wish you were better. For things to change, you have to change, and for things to get better, you have to get better.
— Jim Rohn