I’m abused. Every single day.
She hates me; I know it. I feel it every time she lays her hands on me. And yet, here I am, always waiting for her to come home, because that’s all I know to do. It’s all I’ve ever known.
I wait for her during the day.
Fear for her during the night.
Cry during the morning.
And wait some more.
It’s nine in the morning. She’s gone to school. It’s going to be a while before she gets home. I should probably use this time to myself, but I can’t help watching the door. Something tells me she’s going to be home sooner than usual today.
During the day, I don’t really have much to worry about, even if she did come home early. I’m almost always ignored then, save for the fleeting looks of annoyance thrown my way every once in a while, especially when she’s busy doing work.
Now that I think about it, I remember her saying something about how she was going to ditch school to get home early because she wanted to get ready for her date this evening.
I continue watching the door.
*
It’s seven in the evening.
She’s supposed to be out on her date, but here she is, curled up on her side, snoring softly.
I’m so dead.
I’ve been trying to wake her up for the past hour like I was supposed to, but she’s just too deep asleep.
She’s going to be so furious when she wakes up.
*
It’s seven-thirty five.
In a last desperate attempt, I try to wake her up again.
This time, she does.
Startled, she jumps to her feet, rubbing her eyes furiously.
“What time is it?” she asks groggily.
I gulp.
Seven thirty-five.
“Seven…wha-?” she’s by my side within seconds, glaring at me, furious, just as I’d predicted.
Here it comes.
“YOU STUPID PIECE OF JUNK!”
I’m lifted up into the air and slammed into the ground. Fortunately this time, I hit the bed covers that had fallen onto the floor. I just lie there.
She walks around me, fervently calling her date to apologize. I’m even kicked a little.
But I just lie there. Like I always do.
Waiting for her to pick me up and place me back in my spot. To fix the shattered glass on my face, to replace my batteries.
Because as much as she hates me, she also so desperately needs me.
That alone makes all this worthwhile.
I’m the alarm clock. And I’m scared to tell the time.
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139,337 Literary Works • 672,537 Reviews
Love it!I could feel the sadness and feelings from the very beginning and drag me to continue reading this till the very end.The tittle is cathy also.It shows what the main idea of the whole work might be.Of course a reader can not know but the idea is given by the tittle.
I like sad or more in the dark theme works so this one is one of them I like also.
Very good work!
Good use of words,also.It is not uninteresting.It is deep.
I was amazed that you meant the alarm clock but this is the good in the mystery.
Hi!
I really loved your story. I like the use of vocabulary. The title itself attracted me to read your story. Well done. I really like the metaphor you have used at the end. It is very well written and very brief. I liked how you linked it to an alarm clock. One thing to improve on, is the layout. Other than that I really liked it and enjoyed it. Keep writing!
Heya, Dutiful!!
This is Eros here to review this beautiful piece. Hey! This was really wonderful. I loved it.
The very first thing which comes is the title. It sould be of appropriate length, related to the topic, and catchy. Your title has fulfilled all the criterias. So, That's the best thing.
The theme is unique---an alarm clock. The whole story revolves around the life of an alarm clock. This is expressed very nicely. The idea is very beautiful. I like the way you have revealed of what you are at the end. This creates a good twist in the story. I loved the style of your writing. This again is very unique.
I liked how you have expressed the furiosity of the girl. Rubbing of the eyes, furiously, and the violent-ish actions that she does, everything shows the furiosity.
This was written really GREAT. Everything flows smoothly, and the choice of words is also very good.
Overall, Very Well Done!
I am impressed with the style of writing.
Keep writing!
Amazing twist! I really wasn't expecting that!
Hi there! I really love this piece. Very original point of view, and very well-written. It was brief, but also created a good story.
There weren't any grammar mistakes I noticed, so all I really have to say is that I loved this! I didn't know it was an alarm clock until the end, so it was quite an amusing turn on an otherwise sad story.
That's all that I really have to say.
Keep writing!
~Fire
abuse me pls
Greetings,
This is great! I actually did one of these recently myself. Writing a story about an object without revealing what it was until after the story was done. I have to say that this one was well crafted and really seems more like an abused person more than an abused alarm clock.
I can't say that I noticed any grammar mistakes. All in all your descriptions were great, though I would like to know a little more about what this girl looks like. How does her physical expressions change when she looks to the clock and sees that she is late or something? Things for you to think about in the future.
Your title is perfect for this story, I had thought that maybe changing it to "Scared to tell time" might have been better, but as I mull it over, the title itself is what made me a little interested in reading the story to begin with. So the title is perfect as your first hook, just enough to get the attention of the reader that skims through the records that fill this site.
Thank you for sharing this work and I look forward to seeing what you create in the future,
Happy Writing!
Hello, InfiniteRectangles here!
I really loved this! I loved how you made this whole thing kind of an extended metaphor and hid the fact that it was a clock until the end. I also really like the experimental format of this. It isn't as structured as a common short story, but it seems more like a narrative poem of sorts. I love it! I really don't have much constructive criticism for you other than to try to avoid cliches when describing things. This was so good! You are such a talented writer and I am looking forward to reading more of your work. Keep writing and have a wonderful day/night!
I loved this short story so much! Going straight to the ending that last line was just so perfect to end it with " I'm scared to tell the time." As I feel that it summed up everything and even more if that's possible. I felt as if I was left with a lack of words to describe how this story affected me. All I know that as a person who has troubles with alarm clocks in the past I may be rethinking how I treat them now. The only issue that I could see was that the 7 o'clock section came up so suddenly I don't know if that was on purpose or not, but I feel as if you could add something small in between that part and the last about what had happened in between to get to that point. But, overall a great story and I hope that you can keep writing more like these!
Never in my life would I have imagined that I would love a story about an alarm clock! Oh my god, this was great. The way you wrote it; the whole thing about hiding that it's a clock, even thought we knew that, but saying that only on the end; the feelings of sadness and loneliness that were in my heart; the suffering of the clock and how he still understands her - everything was awesome.
Now, even though is great, there is this tiny little part that I didn't like:
"Now that I think about it, I remember her saying something about how she was going to ditch school to get home early because she wanted to get ready for her date this evening. "
For me, this sentence is kinda weird. It seemes to me like it doesn't fit with everything else and it distracts me from reading on. Now, it's not about what you wrote, but the way how you wrote it. I was lost for a second because of the sudden change; maybe it's just me.
Also, after this "I continue watching the door.", there are only one-row sentences. That's not bad, but I miss the way you wrote in the beginning. A paragraph, then some lonely sentences, then again a parahraph - it gives the whole story a rhythm, which is awesome. So I wanted the whole story to be like this, but don't worry, I still loved the end!
Favorite part: "I’m the alarm clock. And I’m scared to tell the time.". MY GOOODDD! This blew my mind away. Such a powerful sentence with so many hidden meanings. Just great!
*TIP
I would have wrote "I'm the alarm clock. I'm scared to tell the time."; it sounds stronger to me that way, because when I see the "and" here, I miss the comma before it. Still, also awesome the way you wrote it.
All in all, beautiful. Great work, and just keep on going like this!
This is interesting!
Omg I unaware of this.
I SWEAR MAN.
Dont bother. But I thought I should tell u that we think alike
We do! And thaaaaaaanks