Note: Please read Part 1 first before reading this. :)
"Where is Jan?" I wondered as I waited for him in the bitter cold in the Square.
I checked my phone list and found his number. Immediately I pressed to call.
"Hello?" It was Dominic's voice.
"Dominic? Where is Jan?"
"Oh. He is in my home. He's asleep right now," said Dominic, as he seemed to be preparing a drink, judging by the noise of liquid being shaked in a bottle. "I shall call you later, after he took a quick sip of this drink I designed specially for him. Bye, Jaden."
I froze on the street.
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Dominic smiled to himself. Perhaps this might actually work.
Being a new student to his school a year before, he had like Jan at first sight. Jan had this natural charm that glowed from his heart that thoroughly warmed Dominic, who had never, ever felt love.
But enough of this. He intended to celebrate this moment. Shaking the chocolate cosmos extract in his hand, he remembered that Jan liked mint. He put the bottle down and went to his own tiny laboratory and picked bottle No.34, mint extract, wondering how many drips he should use to enlighten the whole drink. Now he was wishing that Jaden would not come.
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I scrolled through the photos stored in my iPhone, and finally I managed to search Dominic's address. I identified the correct way and set off.
Jan and Dominic...Dominic and Jan...
Dominmic was a nice person, but quite mysterious to me. It was very rare that he talked to anyone other than Jan and a few others. They sat at the same table whenever they had lunch together.
My thought flew back to the Career Day at school a few months before. Dominic's parents did not come, and instead he invited his uncle, a chemist, and his aunt, a botanist. Although being protective, I could sense a repelling force between Dominic and the two. It was almost that they despised each other.
There were rumours that Dominic, being the official photographer of the School Annual Sports Day, had used half of the memory available in the SD card of the camera to shoot photographs of Jan.
Jan told me that Dominic had said these:
I wish I could spend all my life time with you.
Jan thought it was a joke and replied Dominic with this.
I kept running.
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Dominic stirred the mixture in the mug a few more times and he put his head closer in for a smell.
What a wonderful scent! Jan would have loved it, that is, Dominic thought subtly, if Jan retained his sense of taste.
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Panting, I reached the door of Dominic's home. I tried to press the doorbell, but I hesitated.
The door was opened, but no lights were switched on.
Should I go inside? Or should I call Dominic first?
A welcoming fresh mint-like smell flowed from inside. I made my decision and walked a confident step into the house.
His house was huge, and quite messy, at least compared to Jan's, when our group worked on a project.
Instinctively I walked left and entered the first room in the corridor.
It was a darkroom, but why would anyone still need a darkroom for photos nowadays I could not answer. The interior was was so dim that I could see nothing at all.
My fingertips touched some sort of switch. I pressed, and eerie dark red light was emitted from a lamp. Its rays shone on a desk, and I peeked at the photos there.
They were all Jan's photoes on the Sport Day. His hair waving as his head rocked when he led the cheer for his class... His agile body when running a 200m race...
There were a shadow outside the door, but when I looked there, it closed with a 'click'.
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Jaden had come.
Dominic knew that this would happen after all. He must protect Jan, or at least succeed in what he thought would achieve his aim after all these troubles.
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"Where is he?" I asked.
"Would you like some tea?" Dominic ignored my question.
"Answer me at once."
"About what?"
"Jan, of course," I sighed.
"What about him?" He asked innocently.
I could not stand it any more. "Tell me now! Where is he now? What..." I noticed that vacuum flask he was holding, and pointing at it I continued, "What is that?"
He beamed at me. "A special drink for our dearest classmate, of course. Chocolate cosmos extract and a few drops of mint scent. Both of us knew how much he liked chocolate with mint, don't we? Curiously, you seemed to have developed a same interest in chocolate cosmos recently...?"
I froze.
"Why did you come here?" He asked.
"We were to head to a flag-raising ceremony."
Dominic smiled coldly.
"Jan will be staying here with me. What about you?"
What about you?
I tried for some distraction. "What were those photos for?'
He went into a trance and whispered, "He was so kind and generous..." His eyes focused and aimed at me. "You hate him, right?"
"NO!"
Again he was hypnotised. "So few managed to touch me so tenderly... it's a waste if you kill him."
I swallowed saliva.
"Why?" He tilted his head and looked at me. "Why would you ever wish to kill him?"
I remained silent. He knew it.
"Because he betrayed you, right? But I am here to tell you that he would never do that."
Dark tendrils grasped my heart tightly.
That traitor... I gritted my teeth.
If he had never told the teacher...
He continued, "I am not too stupid to be fooled by your little prompt."
I forced myself not to scream with anger, "We had a deal."
"Yes, but you did not state whether I should kill him or not. And that message was anonymously signed, so I cannot be sure that it's you."
"I am here to tell you that it is me."
"So may I read it for you?" He reached his hands into his pocket shirt. "'Take Jan down.' It did not mention anything related to killing."
"Now I am making a better one with you. Once you kill him you can do whatever you want. Deal?"
"In the message you mentioned that you would not be coming here. Now you are standing in front of me. Isn't that a break of the deal?"
I stood silently. If Dominic kept being so stubborn...
My thoughts flew backwards to when Jan betrayed me.
+++
That time the class teacher was furious when she discovered that someone had been taking photos of different teachers secretly during lessons. Be frank, she screamed, and admit it privately with her after the end of the school day, or serious consequences shall follow.
I, to be truthful, had once taken a shot during lessons, but I was fairly sure that she would have no proof to charge me. If I told her everything my conduct grade would surely have been downgraded. I was never a boy with records of misbehaviour, and I had to keep my reputation.
I was so afraid and my mind was a complete mess. I talked to Jan, hoping for guidance.
He left the decision to me, and I decided to keep my mouth shut, at least for a while.
Yet after a few weeks, the teacher met me privately, and from then on she had took on a new perspective of me, completely reversed.
+++
The original plan was to trick Dominic into playing the role to kill Jan, then visit him at this time and play surprised to keep myself out from suspicion if the plan was exposed. But with Dominic playing such an aggressive role in the conversation, I decided to throw that innocent mask away and be truthful.
As if reading my mind, he said, "You are not going to kill him."
"I found you because you knew how to accomplish it. If you can finish the job both of us can benefit."
"Benefit? What can I benefit?"
"Is that your refusal? Then I am going to do it myself. I suppose it would not matter after all. Just be reminded that watching someone you like die in front of you in agony is not fun. Not at all.
"How? You have one portion of chocolate extract, which you had already used in Jan's lunch. How?"
I grinned. "Who said that I needed chemicals?" I reached into my backpack.
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Dominic was frightened. In the scarlet light of the room the silvery surface looked extra cold and sharp.
That surface sailed in the air with its handle being held tightly. It came closer, closer, and closer...
"I am sorry," he thought as the blade cut through the layers of air. "If I had predicted that he would be so brutal..."
The face of the person in front of Dominic was so hardened. Ruthless. Merciless.
His plan was running smoothly until that person chose to use a knife. Keeping Jan look lifeless with a diluted extract should fool him that the deal was completed, and all three of them could leave and live without guilt.
Yes, perhaps Jan will lost his ability to taste for a while, but with enough time and ingredients Dominic had confidence to heal him.
Not now, as that argent blade sailed into his stomach.
Everything blackened.
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I had finished Dominic, and at last it came to Jan.
I walked out of the room and headed further into the corridor. I saw lights coming out from the third door. I pushed it open.
Jan was there, sleeping so soundly and peacefully. To witness his face glowing with health made my anger grew.
I made no hesitation.
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Epilogue
I just want to tell you that Jan did not betray you from the beginning. I did.
Jan was also greatly troubled when he knew that you participated in taking photos of the teacher. Believe me, he would never have thought this unless you told him yourself.
He talked to me, and it went against my principles of being a good person if I rejected to tell the teacher.
Why couldn't you just listen for some more? I have thought of a perfect plan that none of us, including Jan, had to suffer from yours. Now even if you live on you will be carrying the guiilt of murdering two of us. Is a revenge worth it?
About your deal: no. I have never thought of killing Jan. I was annoyed when he thought that was a joke, but actually that made me feel relieved. If he accepted it both Jan and I might suffer, and if he rejected it I will crush. So sometimes I wondered if he did understood me, and that reply was proof of how well he could handle people's feelings.
In fact I was secretly amused by adoring him secretly. My feelings were my own. No one needs to bother. No one has the right.
I have to end this note, for I could not h...hold my pennm... an y m or e...
~A note with scribbled hand writing found in the dark room of Dominic's home, soaked with what believed was Jaden's blood.
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Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
By the way is this a true story or based on one?
Well.. neither. I just imagined the whole thing...
Ok so I will start with this, I loved the story. I have a couple nitpicks though, first being that other than serial killers, nobody has used red rooms for pictures in almost a decade. From the time it seems to take place in the red room should have been a dead giveaway. The second nitpick I had was that he found the address from a photo. Granted it's possible yeah but extremely unlikely, how often do you hear of or see a photo with a person's address in it. My third nitpick was the epilogue, the whole thing was difficult to understand. I have several less major nitpicks, but they are small enough to not make a difference. But just to say it again, loved the story.
Thank you for your advice! I will edit it if I get time.
Hi. Want a review? I bet you do! haha
So, let's go.
Well, I did skim read the chapter 1 so I think I do have some idea of what's going on around here. Well, to be frank, I read this chapter in a hurry too so do expect me to sound a little silly if I may sound. lol
A typical problem with this chapter was it being super long. I mean, why not try to cut it down into smaller bits so that you can make it more user friendly? You can do that, can't you? That would make it so much easier for me, and for others, to read it and review it.
There are some really dreadful grammatical errors as well as punctuation errors. I have noticed that you did not use the punctuation a lot. May I ask why? Just, for example, read the last 2 paragraphs! No exclamation mark, no semi colon or anything as such. Just a couple of commas and periods. Nah! That's not how it should be, dude. Try to improve on that.
Also, the sentences are really short, at times. Look at this one:
"In fact I was secretly amused by adoring him secretly. My feelings were my own. No one needs to bother. No one has the right."
Too short and doesn't even make much sense, right?
I recommend you to go ahead and use more punctuation and try adding more depth to every sentence. It will surely help you!
Other than that, it was a good attempt. I shall, review chapter 1 of it once I get some time to properly read it too.
Good luck, keep writing. You are awesome.
Thank you for your review!