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The Beauty of Unspoken Words

by Drkinjal


Welcome to the world of comforting each other with cactus,

You Moron , That's the friendship !

From eating into same plate to enjoying our singlehood 

together 

From Eating bombay sandwich to being the reason of my first 

lie of my life .

From breaking the ice by 2 am conversation to now all fake 

layers of conversation 

cheers !

Unspoken words heard more than the spoken one , As they 

have tendency to scream inside your brain .

Sad! I feel blinds are luckier than the deaf .

When i listened  Your unspoken words by my spot in your life

you  were going far away from me 

It didn't hurt me because it was only the first thing

All i afraid of its climax. 

Now, my part of unspoken words ! 

I was unable to tell you it hurt me alot.

My bad , My weakness !!

Now There you can see the beauty of unspoken words 

The beauty of it ?!

But now i dont want to be emotional fool. 

P.S. Please don't be my friend ,

hey, Please don't be my enemy  

Be the stranger with best memories .


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530 Reviews


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Reviews: 530

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Sun Jan 27, 2019 3:10 am
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hi, Shikora here with a review for you on this wonderful day.

let's jump right into it shall we.

Now this is a really cool poem you have here. But I did see a few things that need to be fixed but I'll get to that in a moment.
I really like the name to this poem, it was very interesting and it drew me in right away, another really cool this is that the first sentence got my attention and made me want to keep on reading, and that's a really good thing, you want to have that power over your readers, you want to make them keep reading until the end.

But I did see somethings that need to be fixed like I said earlier. So let's get to it.

The first thing is that I think you should put some punctuation in after every sentence, I read through you poem a few times and it sounds a lot better that way. Let me show you what I mean.

From eating into same plate to enjoying our singlehood

together

This would sound a lot better if you put a fall stop at the end, then it wont sound like its running into the next sentence.
Now about the word in bold it's just a small spelling mistake you spell it like this, single hood.

Now the next thing I saw was that when you do put punctuation in after your sentences, it's like you've pressed the space par key then you put your comma in or something. Let me show you what you have done.

You Moron , That's the friendship !

You have done it twice in this sentence. You poem would look a lot better if you fixed that.

But other then that, I really liked reading your poem, and reviewing it too. I hope to see more of your works on YWS soon so I may pop in again and give you a review. Never stop writing and have a great day/night.

Your friend
Shikora. :D

Oh and happy review day!

Image




Drkinjal says...


Thank you so much . Have a nice day .





Your welcome.



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273 Reviews


Points: 22533
Reviews: 273

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Sun Jan 27, 2019 1:28 am
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Dossereana wrote a review...



Hi there @Drkinjal I am here to do a review on your poem. grate length bye the way.

What I like most about this
I really liked how you started this of, I feel like there is a lot of bonding here in this poem, friends you no, also talking about that I feel like you do say friends a lot in this, I feel like you have wisdom for writing things, it was lovely reading this peace of work here, I acsholy really like this for I feel like it is friendly, I feel like you or really good at writing poems, like this one, I don't really see any thing wrong here, So nice poem, I loved reading this, I feel like you could make this in to a song some how if you rote it a bit differently then I would really like it, I do like this, there seams to be nothing here that i can really review so, so that is all that i can say so keep up the grate poem writing it seems like it is your stong point.

@EagleFly out to seek and kill

Happy review day.




Drkinjal says...


Thank you so much i am glad you like it




This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
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