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Chapter 3: Zai

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I ran across the room desperate to relieve those tapes of my mistake. when I got to the equipment I quickly found the part that operated the cameras. It wasn’t hard to hack into the computer that contained the information. ‘I swear…some people think they made stuff impossible to hack, but really they made it the easiest thing, that a two year old could do it...’ I thought to myself.

I silently hacked into the computer smiling to myself the entire time. In about two seconds the file was open displaying everything it ever knew to the cleverness of my eyes. Easily I found the most recent camera feed and opened it with shaking hands. I slowly played over the content of the video. Once it reached the part with me, I silently started to clear my name. I took deep breaths to keep myself calm. I took me longer than usual because the computer connection was awfully slow in terms of all the new technology.

It didn’t take very long to delete all evidence that I was ever there. When the last of it was cleared I let out a long breath that I wasn’t even aware that I was holding. I sat back in the chair and let my tense muscles relax. After about a minute I reached over and started to put the computer in the exact condition it had been when I found it...save the part of the information I had deleted.

‘No one in this world can ever know my dreadful secret…not even a stupid camera.’ I thought to myself. I quickly got up and turned the chair into the position it had been and raced for the door of the tiny room. ‘Freedom...freedom...freedom...’ was all I could think of being in the cold dark room. At every turn it seemed like the walls were getting smaller. Like I was just a jack waiting for someone to spin the lever to release me from my box.

I reached the door in the nick of time. If I had been trapped in the tiny room any longer I thought I would lose it. I slowly opened the door and put my head out far enough to where I could see the perimeter of the room. I stood and surveyed the room for a while before I was convinced that the coast was clear. Once I was convinced, I quickly came out of the tiny room and quietly closed the door behind me.

Once I made sure I did everything right, I made my way to the break-room in the back of the store. I was careful enough to avoid all the night vision cameras along the way. When I finally reached the break-room and made my way to the fridge to relieve my growing hunger. I looked in to find it almost empty. This made me a little sad because the employees haven’t went on a shopping day to feed the likes of a stowaway on their closed ship.

I sighed heavily and shut the refrigerator in disappointment. I stood next to the fridge trying to figure out my next move for food. I surveyed the dark room in hopes of a spark of an idea when I heard it. My mind went into overdrive at the sound. For a second I couldn’t even think straight for in my mind’s escape lights were blocking all my rational thinking.

The lock turned slowly in the door located at the front of the shop. My senses went into overdrive and all I could do was stand like an idiot unable to move. My eyes as wide as a deer caught in the headlights of ongoing traffic. The key seemed to slowly slide out of the lock and the stranger started to put weight on the door slowly pushing it open.

The escape light momentarily ceased and gave me the opening I needed to hide in fastest way possible. I quickly scaled the wall and climbed to the rafters concealing myself in the arms of the shadows. I leaned my head slightly off the rafter to make sure I could see everything below me.

A person walked into the room and turned on the light. I hissed as the light from the rafter beside me momentarily blinded me with golden light. The stranger looked up sharply at the sound. I rolled my head out of the way just in time that he turned back a moment later not even concerned at the sound. The stranger moved along the room and came up at the coffee pot to start it up brewing a new batch.

I cautiously looked over and to where the stranger was to make sure he was preoccupied. I caught a moment to analyze him from as far as I could see. Older, about 6’ 2”. He had short, blond, business styled hair and black sunglasses lining his face. He wore a long coat covering all but his ankles to his feet. He seemed to be wearing black slacks and a business type of tennis shoe, like he was prepared to catch someone in the spur of the moment.

I turned my attention from him to the door only laying about five to ten feet away from where he stood. I cursed to myself wondering ‘how in the hell am I going to leave without him noticing me?’ The man turned and looked up at the sound. My eyes widened at realization that he wasn’t just any man...he was a fed of all things. I cursed again this time making it to where he looked up into my general direction.

I hadn’t moved out of sight fast enough and I knew he had seen me. I sprang into action at the sound of his voice, “Hey! What the hell? How did you get in here?” I barely heard him above the pounding in my heart. “Today is not my day…” I said under my breath.

I raced along the rafters of the break-room hopping beam to beam just ahead of the fed. He was following my every move from underneath the pillars. Before I knew what was happening a gun fired and a bullet whizzed past my leg in desperation to hit me. I only looked down for a second to see the fed cock his gun for another shot. It only took that one second of no concentration that I slipped from the beam. It happened so fast that it seemed as though I was falling from the sky.

The man looked up and pointed his gun to the position I was just in. His eyes went wide as all he had time to do was cover his face before I fell and landed right on top of him. ‘I’m going to feel that in the morning.’ I thought to myself as I got up from the man clutching my ribs in pain. The man moaned as I shifted my weight from on top of him. I held out my hand almost forgetting that he was a threat. I quickly withdrew my hand and I watched as he slowly lifted himself from the floor.

He had lost the gun in the impact but that still didn’t convince me to let down my guard. My hands flew to my head realizing that he could see me. ‘My hood must have fallen off in the impact of the fall.’ I though panicked. I quickly reached behind my head and pulled my hood tightly over into its former place, concealing myself in darkness once more.

The man looked in my direction once he was off the ground. He was clutching the back of his head as though it would fall apart if he let go. “Are you alright?” he said gently as though I wasn’t a stowaway on his empty ship. I didn’t answer but I stared at him for a second before I took off running in the pursuit of the door.

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me, but I could sense the fed behind me trying to stop me from escaping his grasp. I ran straight ahead not caring if the camera’s saw me now that I knew a fed had. I saw the door right in front of my face and I let pride blind my senses letting me forget for a split second that I was being chased and I was running for my life.

A bullet whizzed past me and I curved my body to the right avoiding the attack. I hadn’t moved fast enough because it grazed me on its way to its new target. I cried out in pain but kept running, tears running down the length of my face. I kept running but I could hear the fed a cell phone behind me probably calling me in for back-up.

When I reached the door I had only wished it had showed up sooner. I put up all the last of my strength and pushed it open. I was met with a gust of cold air slithering across my wounds giving me a whole new batch of pain. I screamed so loud at the pain it gave off that the fed had to cover his ears. It took me a second to hear the sirens closing in the direction of the rink.

The pain in my ribs were so severe that I had to fight to stay conscious long enough to get away. I wove my way around the pipes in the rink, the fed hot on my trail. I came up about two feet from the gate before it was rammed down by a police car. My eyes widened momentarily before the fence came crashing down right where I was standing. Knocking me unconscious in its wake.

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Noelle
Review
Noelle wrote a review · Mon Mar 03, 2014 12:30 am

Hi there! Finally back for another review. Sorry it took me so long.

Anyway, this is another good chapter you've got here. You're doing a great job progressing the story and developing your characters. I'll start with some things that might need to be worked on and then I'll get into your content. Sound good? Let's do this! :)

I ran across the room desperate to relieve those tapes of my mistake.

Did you mean 'relive' not 'relieve'? Or maybe you meant 'retrieve'. I'm a bit confused by this sentence. I don't know exactly what you're trying to say.

‘I swear…some people think they made stuff impossible to hack, but really they made it the easiest thing, that a two year old could do it...’ I thought to myself.

One of the great things about writing in first person POV (point of view) is that we, the readers, get an "inside look" at the character. That sounds kind of weird. But basically, we get to see how they act and what they think about. Therefore, it's not really necessary to put in a thought here. You can just as well take away the quotations and it'll still pass off as a thought.

Wow. I absolutely love this chapter! You see, I'm a real sucker for action. And this has plenty of it! You did a great job describing all of action and keeping me on my toes. I could honestly imagine the whole scene going through my head as I was reading it.

I'm glad that we're now starting to learn more about this character, Zai. Although what I'm still not sure is whether Zai is a girl or a boy. I understand that you might want to keep that a secret for a bit, but if you keep it one much longer the story might not work. This scene has a completely different feel if Zai is a girl (I've kind of imagined Zai as a boy since the beginning). It might not be a bad idea to share that with your readers soon.

I hope you write more of this! Please tell me when the next chapter is posted. I'd love to read it :)

Keep writing!
**Noelle**

I am planning on reviling the identity of Zai in either chapter 5 or 6 when the two characters meet sorry to keep you waiting but its one of the big secrets and from the beginning I have wanted to get Kade to reveal the identity so sorry to keep you all waiting :) anyway and the part you were confused on was to releive you know as in get rid of I'm just a bad speller especially when it comes to i's and e's sorry for the confusion stay tuned for chapter 4 its still processing but ill have it up asap :)

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MerckkPR Review

It's Reviewing time! O_O X_X ^_^

First, amazing story writing, I LOVED how you described the place, at first I was a little lost because( for some reason) I thought the whole chapter was happening inside a mall. The paragraphs were divided perfectly and the story even though it was long it really wasn't that hard to read for the eyes. Few tips though!

- First, In the beginning of the chapter you stated the importance of the hooded character's secret to remain ''a secret'' and you made sure he took his sweet time keeping it that way. He was so careful yet when the fed comes into play he forgets all of that and simply takes for granted that the cameras saw him and the fed did too and plays it so that all he did in the past minutes prior to meeting the fed were in vain.

Also, you mention how the hooded character hissed, i get the vibe that the character isn't human? if not, the cop didn't really show any emotions toward that part, i would have liked it if he did.( considering the character wasn't human) If he was then my mistake XD.

The story is great, i liked how it all planned out, and it leaves us with suspense when he blacks out after the cops arrive, REALLY waiting to see what happens next!. Keep on Writing!

Thanks.......and you are the first to figure it out.....the hooded character isn't human ;) I am glad it was easy to read (its only long because on my document it's like five pages but hey thats a chapter for ya) I will take into consideration about the fed reacting and you will have to read the continuence of Kade's POV before you get to see what happens to Zai so keep reading and enjoy :)

I will i will :) Good material you got there!

Thank You and enjoy the others :)



“It doesn’t matter what you are, it only matters what you do. It’s your choice.”
— Sam Winchester