Chapter 2: Kade

I looked out the window across the fading light to the distance beyond. everyone was in bed now as the curfew agreement states…I am the only one left awake in the darkness. ‘This is the day’ I thought to myself. This day has finally come yet I couldn’t bring myself to move from the serenity of the window.

“Kaden?” I turned at the soft call of my name.

“Yeah, what do you need Kaleb?” I called quietly to the voice.

“What are you doing? Is it time?” Kaleb called with a slight of worry in his voice.

Kaleb is the only one I told because for as long as we have both lived in this hell hole I have never talked to anyone. I didn’t even tell the adults my name the first day I came. To everyone else in this place I am Tacitus meaning ‘silent; mute’ in ancient roman. I don’t talk to anyone because all I am is just another kid too old to get adopted and doomed to a life at the orphanage. But not if I can help it!

I turned around and looked straight into those dark hopeful-seven year old eyes staring at me with a hopeful glaze. “I’m deciding… and yes today is the day...only if I could bring myself to actually do it.”

I watched in sadness as his face fell with all his hopes attached. I sighed and walked slowly to his bedside careful enough not to wake up any of the other boys. When I reached the bed I was sad to see those big round eyes staring back at me.

“Can I come with you?” His eyes got hopeful once again. I sighed before I answered. Not knowing how to gently break his heart.

I decided on how to break it to him and came up with “I’m sorry Kaleb but I can’t bring you with me.”

His face fell and he started to protest but I cut him off before he could make me feel even worse than I already did. “Just stop right there kid…” Kaleb always knew I was about to say something important when I called him ‘kid,’ so he shut up almost immediately. This didn’t stop him from looking any sadder though.

I looked away towards the window and sighed once more. ‘How am I going to do this and leave Kaleb all alone without me?’ I thought to myself in despair.

I shook my head in defeat and looked back towards Kaleb’s small frame barely seen in the darkness of the night.

It took me a second to answer for I couldn’t bear to break his fragile seven year old heart. I slowly turned and looked him straight in the eyes before answering him.

“I’m really sorry but I’ll make you a deal…” I watched as he contemplated this for a minute and sadly nodded his head for me to go on. I sighed one more time at the absurdity of this deal.

I looked into Kaleb’s hopefully sad eyes and continued, “The deal is that in 6 months if some lucky bastard hasn’t adopted you yet, I will come back for you and take you away from this hell hole…”

A big smile brightened up Kaleb’s entire face in the darkness. He started to respond but I held up a finger to stop him. “However, if and only if that lucky bastard has come and adopted you then you have to promise me that you will have the best life ever and forget about me and this stupid place. Got it?”

I lifted my eyebrow to add emphasis to the promise. I could see Kaleb’s bright smile light up the entire room at the thought. I could tell that he was so excited that he couldn’t speak so instead he just nodded his head. So much that I was afraid it might detach from his neck. I put away my tough responsible guy act and smiled almost as brightly as Kaleb.

After a brief shake of the head I reached over and grabbed Kaleb’s head with both hands stopping him from rendering his head from his body.

When Kaleb’s head was stable I let go with cautious hands. Kaleb smiled bright and we laughed together in harmony. I forgot all about the other boys in the room but in the dark I could see them roll over from our laughter. Kaleb and I both stopped in unison but we still had giant smiles spreading widely over our faces. Just as we thought that we had our laughing under control we burst out doing it all over again.

We tried desperately to suppress our chuckles with misfortune. I reached over and put my hand over Kaleb’s mouth and he did the same to me. Sadly neither of us could keep it covered for long.

After about a minute or two our laughing died down and reality set back in. I had to leave tonight and Kaleb was not coming with me. Suddenly our faces fell and it seemed like the laughing hadn’t even happened. We were both sad and as long as I stayed right here with Kaleb the sadder it would be.

I got up from the bed and went over to my unoccupied bed in the far corner of the room sitting all alone like some reject in a room full of rich people. I grabbed my raggedy backpack from the plain black blanket that laid made and untouched along the bed. I swung the pack upon my shoulder and stood staring at the emptiness for what seemed like forever.

Kaleb silently came over and stood by my side silently looking at the empty bed with tears falling from his eyes. I didn’t dare look at him for I knew that I would cry too. I was trying to stay strong not only for Kaleb but for myself as well. I put my free arm across his shoulders and pulled him tighter to my body. Kaleb’s body voluntarily agreed to the motion and I could feel fresh tears falling from his eyes.

I turned my body more into his direction and put my other arm around him and hugged him tight. He responded by hugging me as tightly as his seven year old strength would allow. I just held him for what seemed like forever but in truth it was only about two minutes.

I slowly let go and grabbed Kaleb’s small hands and released them from around my body. Kaleb’s started to sob at the action. For he knew it was time for me to leave. His body made small jerking movements at the reaction. I tried to not look in his direction for the sound of his sobbs were almost enough to start my own tearful moment. I closed my eyes tight and shook my head trying to clear it of this wistful moment.

After about a minute Kaleb’s sobbs turned into soundless snuffles. I silently picked Kaleb up and carried him to bed so he could get some sleep in this sorrowful night. When we reached the edge of the bed I pulled the blankets back and laid Kaleb in the clutches of the mattress. When I released his body from the security of my arms I could see that he was already in the grasp of sleep. I smiled sadly to myself and covered Kaleb’s tiny frame with the blankets from his bed.

I slowly leaned down and lightly kissed his right temple wishing him well when I am gone. I knew I would never find anyone even close to the quiet, joyful, blond haired, brown eyed, seven year old boy. I sighed softly as I tore my gaze away from his sleeping body. I knew for a fact that he was the only thing I would ever miss about this place as long as I lived.

I slowly made my way to the window that would ensure my freedom. After a long second of looking out over the dark scenery. I quietly opened the window. I was taken aback by the cold night air that rushed in. I slowly turned around to make sure none of the boys woke from the cold. I was relieved to see that no one moved a muscle. I made my way over to the side of the room where the younger boys kept their toys and grabbed a chair from where it lay cast out from the area of the table.

I quickly and quietly ran across the floor in the direction of the window with the childs’ chair in hand. When I reached the window I quickly positioned the chair underneath the ledge parallel to the wall. I carefully stepped onto it, balancing my weight to make sure the chair didn’t topple to the ground. I slowly put my hands on the ledge along with one leg. I made sure to balance just right in order not to fall from the ledge. I took a few deep, fast breaths as I hoisted myself the rest of the way onto the window ledge. I hurriedly steadied myself so I wouldn’t fall either way out of the window. When both feet were free from the unsteadiness of the chair, gravity took over and toppled it to the ground making sure that I couldn’t change my mind on the fate I had ensured.

I looked down at the toppled chair and sighed knowing that I am halfway to a new beginning. I then turned my head to look out across the black abyss that lay beyond knowing that my new life lay out there somewhere. I let out a slow breath and moved my leg from the inside of the room to the opposite side of the ledge pairing it steadily with the already free leg. I looked down to the soft dark green grass below me and jumped from the ledge knowing at this act my fate was secured in the hands of the unknown.