Weeping Blood Book 1 Battlefield~Chapter 1

by Dossereana

Published March 3, 2021

E - Everyone

In Weeping Blood Book 1 Battlefield

Authors Note: If you haven't red the prologue then please read it before reading Chapter 1 https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=150341 here is the link.

Chapter 1

Six years later

The birds whistle soft little songs, which echo into the King’s ears as he listens. His eyes are closed, for he is deep in thought. He is dressed in gold and silver, and his crown is the sambal of it all. For just a moment the wind blew softly in the cool breeze that withered by. His golden cape came down to the grass and was fanned out behind him. His gray shoes almost invisible under everything else. His red hair almost blending in with the crown itself. He imagined images flashing by as he listened to the birds. Some how he felt calmer when he did this. It helped him forget everything else that had happened that day. He’d been drowning himself in his thoughts lately. This was one of the things that was keeping him saint at the moment. He stood in a wide plain, which stretched out for miles. All of it was just covered in lush green grass. But there was a meadow, it was along way from here though. This was the hole of the palaces back garden. There where flower bushes growing everywhere though.

The king suddenly started imagining himself trailing though long grass. His fingers touching the tips of the stems. While birds flew all around him in a circle. There was no one in sight for miles. It’s just him and the birds free and alone. The cobalt sky hung high above his head, like a mystical creature waiting to come alive. Large mountains could be seen all around him, like he was lost in the middle, and couldn’t find away out. Then the birds became faint sounds in the background. He could suddenly hear swords clashing together, and metal came in contact with metal. As war ragged on the mountain peaks, and blood sprayed up and turned into cannons.

King Anniston then opened his hazel eyes. The dazzling light form the sun shining into them. The sound of the solders training could be heard. It echoed into his head like a volcano erupting out of no were. He could see fire all around him all of a sudden, and everything was being burned to ashes. King Anniston then started walking towards a wooden brown door. As he got closer the sounds seemed to be getting louder. The moments he had in peace outside didn’t last long. When he came up to the door a solder opened it for him. He then walked into the military. The door then closed silently behind him. He was at the top of everything. There were many seats going down to the bottom level. He then made his way over to two golden seats on this level. White pearls where placed carefully on the out skirt of the chairs. One was for the king one the right side. the other was for the queen on the left side. He then sat down in his chair. The queen never really came to the military. She preferred to stay out of this. Unless her and her husband were training with each other. King Anniston had insisted for her to train, so that she at least new something about all the weapons. Just so she could protect herself when nobody else could.

At the bottom of all of the forty rows of chairs. Was the ground place were the general and the caption watched all of the solders and recruits train. That went all around a large arena. But there was one area down there that had a door leading into the rest of the palace. That was where the ring of chairs ended. The arena didn’t have a fence going all over the place like around ball. It just had a low metal fence going all the way around. At the top of the arena hanging by strong metal chains was a timer. This was to time the solders. Everyone of them should end up even if there in the same military. The king had a silver button on the right of his chair that could set a time. All he had to do was to press the button and talk into it. The general and the caption could also do this with a special remote with buttons that they kept.

The solders had stopped training and had gone into the inside of the arena. Where there is a crimson gate that opens when the fight is supposed to begin. When there is a fight happening or a fight about to happen, the gates are always closed. The general had set the time to four minutes. The arena’s crimson gates then started to rise, and out came six solders. Each of them had their weapons blazing in front of them. They all watched their five opponents. The time passed quickly, and now there was only two minutes left. Three soldiers where now using throwing knifes. Their swords had been taken away from them by the other opponents. The king stood up and started calling out to the solders that where training.

“Stop!” his voice echoed throughout the arena. All the soldiers stood motionless for a moment. They then went to stand in a straight line, as they look up at their ruler. All of them looked just as eager to find out why they’d been stopped in mid fight. The Captions black hair whipped around with her head, as she turned to look at the king. Her eyebrows were raised, as if to say, what now.

“Solders are you apart of my military or not?” King Anniston paused for a moment as he looked at his solder that stood before him. “You should not lose to someone that is in your ranking and in the same military,” The King carried on talking, frustration showing all over. He could see all of the solders drop their heads and look to the ground. He then got out of his seat and went down to where the General was standing. The General turned his head, his azure eyes look strait at the king.

“Should we make them start over your majesty?” The General asked with a firm but calm tone. Anniston just shook his head from left to right.

“No, that’s clearly not working, they need to watch someone who is in a different ranking and has a reason to be beaten,” Anniston said looking right back at the general with a smirk.

“You majesty,” The Captions voice came in suddenly, sounding a little confused.

“Simple Clodovea, you and Alizar can go up against each other because you are both in different rankings,” King Anniston answered before giving them another slight smile before going up to his seat again. He was going to have some fun by watching this. As he sat down he could here General Alizar’s voice thud throw the fortress. All the solders then came down from the arena and went to go and sit down to watch.

“Now listen this is what happens if you are in different rankings, not the same,” Alizar said trying to state the reason they were doing this. The king set the time for two minutes. They were well trained so a short amount of time should be enough. The seconds then started counting down before the fight began.

Together Clodovea and Alizar then came out into the arena with their swords in hand. Both of them watched their opponent carefully, trying to think of the best moves. King Anniston looked closely as the two fort.

Comments & reviews · 8
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review Review · May 31, 2021

Hey! I'm back with a short review! Not going to hang around to long. XD

Okay lets start!

Again just like the last chapter you have blown me away with your description.
I really liked the small training scene, that was really short, but it was enough to bring across the urgency behind it. Lol and I like how you describe King Anniston after the time jump, there has been a large change in him since the last chapter were he was all smiles, this chapter feels a little darker than the one before.

I think that thing he told his wife in the last chapter is bring across some urgency in this one, we don't know what it is yet, but there is something about it that make the chapter feel like something dark is on the way and Anniston is trying his best to prep before that happens. Anyway that was when he told his solder how they should be fighting. XD

I also like the knew characters we have and the character development, it's all done really well!

Well I did tell you it was going to be a short review didn't I? There really isn't much I can say when its all done so well. I do hope with the next story you write your writing is be as good or even better than this!

Until next time!

FlamingPhoenix
Reviewing with a fiery passion.

Thanks for the kind words, but you are really pressing at my buttons to carry on writing the story. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!!!!!
Well thanks for the review, also have a good sleep. :)

I wouldn't mind if you continued writing to story.....poke poke.

I got another chapter for you to review if your up to it, it was already done so I might as well post it. :D

It's been posted so go review it.

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BEASTtheHUN
Review
BEASTtheHUN wrote a review Review · Mar 5, 2021

I like the idea of this chapter, I like where it's going. For some reason When I first started reading this, it reminded me of the way of kings by Brandon Sanderson, not a bad thing to be reminded of, (if you haven't read that book you really have to.) Anyway, I would say it seems choppy, the flow just doesn't exactly flow the way that I wished. It also seemed repetitive. Even still, I found myself totally immersed in your storyline. Continue writing, I'll be looking out for the second chapter.

Thanks, yeah I have trouble finding other words so I end up repeating things a lot.thanks again for the review.
Also I will totally remember to tag you for the next chapter.

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brotherGeo
Review
brotherGeo wrote a review Review · Mar 4, 2021

Hello Comrade!
Its been a while since ive done any reviewing so forgive me if I forget to mention anything.
Lets get on with it shall we.

First impression: I am certainly interested in this story. It seems interesting but I havent been able to get a clear view of whats to come, this is incredibly important in your first chapter, you want to captivate the reader after all. You have good descriptions of the enviroment and of the characters themselves (and their lavish clothes). Only problems i really picked up is the grammar. I understood the message well enough, but there are certainly better word choices out there.

He imagined images flashing by as he listened to the birds.

The king suddenly started imagining himself trailing though long grass.

You used the word imagine here too frequently, I recommend switching out for a different word with the same meaning. It will make the flow of the words much smoother.

His fingers touching the tips of the stems. While birds flew all around him in a circle. There was no one in sight for miles. It’s just him and the birds free and alone. The cobalt sky hung high above his head, like a mystical creature waiting to come alive. Large mountains could be seen all around him, like he was lost in the middle, and couldn’t find away out. Then the birds became faint sounds in the background. He could suddenly hear swords clashing together, and metal came in contact with metal. As war ragged on the mountain peaks, and blood sprayed up and turned into cannons.

Excellent description of a serene landscape to a bloody battlefiel. Do we have a mad king on our hands?

He then walked into the military.

He walked into a branch of the government did he? hate it when that happens... Im just kidding I know what you mean't. I recommend switching military for War cabinet or War room, these are much more understandable for what you trying to get across. Or perhaps a training ring (You did start calling it an arena halfway through) or some other name.

As @Ilium417 said, your names are great, very interesting and unique. However there is a possible danger to this. Too many uncommon names and they all begin to become muddled and difficult for the reader to keep track of. don't worry too much though, I see this happen in even published novels today.

Overall an interesting start, I read the prolouge and that definetly showed off your finer description abilities. I do reccomend you check over for spelling and grammar as it is a major problem, but not a difficult to fix one. Keep up the good work :)
Keep Writing!
- brotherGeo

Thanks for the review it was really helpful, I'm not so good with grammar to be truthful, it one of the things a struggle with, names I hear a lot of names out there and then if I pick a normal name then I get an image of somebody that I have seen in real life and that just doesn't help me really.
Again thanks for the review I will take this into account.

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Ilium417
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Ilium417 commented Comment · Mar 3, 2021

I think this is really cool! The names you have are really unique and I think the imagery in your head is super vivid. Besides some spelling and grammar errors, I like this a lot. The ending is a little vague though and not too inspiring. Still though, pretty cool :D

Thanks so much,
Also I'll have a look at the end and see if I can make it more interesting, I just don't want to put in to many Cliffhangers.

Yeah, I get it, sometimes you want a nice resolution at the end of a chapter :) I think the only problem with this ending is that it doesn't really offer any resolution. It just says that they fought. Maybe say the result of the fight?
I still think this whole idea with your book is super cool :D

Okay thanks. :D



The opposite of belonging is fitting in.
— Dr. Brené Brown