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by Vulcanite


Chapter 4

Training Hard

Morbeck looked up at there chief, he really did not look happy right now. His eyes looked like fooms of hot ash bursting form a volcano.

"I am going to make anions meant sir,'' Morbeck said as he rose up from his seat. Talon Eye new very well now of what Morbeck mite talk about.

"Okay come up here what do you want to say," The Chief asked with a stern look on his face, he new that this was not going to be good at all. Morbeck came up to the plat form and looked strait at everyone else in the room.

"Chief the hole thing then were you said that our children have to come next to us in battle is the most stopped thing that I can think of, our sons and daughters will be killed for the will be the easier target, " he said with no hesitation, but still feeling very uncoverta  bill about judging there chief.

"Well that is a good point Morbeck I was just thinking that it may be helpful," Coltharn said looking strate at Morbeck with a very sears face. Coltharn new very well what Morbeck was going to say next.

“Well I think that you had better re think that sir,” Morbeck answered and with that he walked down from the plat form and out the room.

“Well the meeting is over you are all dismissed,” The Chief said as he himself went out the room. Talon Eye watched him go then got up of off the seat that he had been sitting on, Takasol followed him out the room back into the big passage.

“Well I feel like that was a waist of time don’t you,” Takasol said as they both came to Talon Eyes room they both went in.

“No I do not, now can you pleas go I need my space,” Talon Eye said looking at Takasol.

“All right, but what do you need to think about,” Takasol asked looking back at the door.

“just pleas can you go now,” Talon Eye said shoving Takasol out the room and shutting his door.

“hooaaa,” Talon Eye heaved in a sie as he heard Takasol walking away from his room. He then went to his desk and picked up a photo of his hole family, this was taken before he was taken here. His young sister and his mother stood out like broken beaks for he had not seen them for so long now. He then smashed the photo on the carpeted floor. The glass broke into serval peace’s. at that very point Talon Eye went over to his bed and collapsed on to it, the bed mad a treble squeaking nouice. Talon Eye started to curl up into a ball, as little tears dropped from his eyes and went collapsing on to his beak and rolling on to the bed.

"I may never see them again," Talon Eye throught as he sobbed and cried more and more. At this point a door opened and in came Tarath. He closed the door as he sore Talon Eye cry on his bed and the photos glass smashed on the floor. Tarath walked over to Talon Eye's bed. he then sat down on the bed. He put a wing on to Talon Eyes back.

"Hay I no how you feel, I felt like this when I was at this point of my life to," Tarath said as he animatedly new what was wrong with him, Talon Eye looked up at Tarath. The feathers around his face were wet from all the crying.

"I just want to see them," Talon Eye sobbed trying to let everything out instead of holding it all in.

"I no you do, but life is not all ways ease, you have to push your way though the hard things so you can for get about it," Tarath said really understanding the feeling, "I am going to go now and train, you can come and join us for training if you want to, but I am shore that it won't mater if you miss today," Tarath said getting up and walking over the door and opening it.

"Oh and you mite want to pick the photo and all the glass up," He said as he left and closed the door again. Talon Eye new that if he missed a single class it mite cost him his live in battle.

"I really do need to go to training," Talon Eye thought as he got up. he was now trying to just let it all go. He new Tarath was right there was no way out of these feelings you just got to let it all disappear. He picked up the glass and the photo frame of off the floor. he tried not to look at the picture as he put it down. Talon Eye walked out of his room and went strait to the Training arina. when he got there he sore every one slashing swords just like what they had been learning yesterday. He put on his armour and took his silver sword and went of to join all his friend’s.

"Hello," Talon Eye said looking strait at everyone and getting into his training right away.

"Good to see that you could join us today Talon Eye," Tarath said looking at him as he got into what everyone else was doing at that very moment. Their swords came clashing into one another’s.

"Fly to they sky we need to start training up there," Tarath said looking at them all with his sharp eagle like eyes. Talon Eye and Targothar Spread there wings and rose up high in the air. Talon Eye and Targothar felt the presher of the metal under them as they flew up.

"Stop going up, now fight, with out your weapons!" Tarath shouted ordering them to fight with all they had in them. Talon Eye and Targothar spread there wings and started to fight with all the strength that they had in them. Targothar swerved away from Talon Eyes raze blades, as he then slashed out his on wing raisers. Talon Eye put his wings in front of him. a hard side of the metal that could shield the attack. As Targothar got closer Talon Eye then lashed out his razes at him. Targothar then flew back wards right into Takasol.

"Now hears something new, Talon Eye keep fighting with him, Takasol in war if someone bumps against you like that you fight up against them, so as in to say there is now going to be two on one," Tarath said explaining what they must now do. Talon Eye then kept his eye turned on Targothar. Takasol then turned on him as well keeping his keen eye on him. Talon Eye and Takasol never turned there eye away from there opponent.

"you ma you's your weapons now," Tarath said keeping a watch full eye. Targothar then looked at Talon Eye and Takasol as they looked at him. He made a slash with his sword at both of them. Talon Eye then sore that Targothar was not watching his back. Talon Eye slashed his razes with both wings around Targothars Front and sides. Takasol then reacted to what he’d done and he then covered Targothars back end and Sides as well. Targothar was now trapped round both of them.

"All right if you want two others our just one can come in now, which will fight against Targothar," Tarath said looking at them all. Two more then enmeadetly came into the battle. One at the bottom of Targothar and one at the top of him. He was now trapped and he had no way out.

"all right stop you five, your done, you have all ready done your training you may move so that our genrell will be teaching you now," Tarath said impressed with how much they had leaned. They had ganed the strength and skill, to pull there way. The four stopped and let Targothar go, they then went down and looked at Tarath.

"You all have done very well you have learnt the ways of working as a team winch is a very important thing to learn you are now dismissed I will let the general no that you are moving up so that he can now teach you eve last thing you need to no," Tarath said looking at them all. The Five then walked off so happy that they are moving up.

"I cannot believe it were moving up does this mean I will become a solder?" Talon Eye thought in his mind. "Does Targothar get to move up with us though?" The questions soared in his head like bursting Talons.


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431 Reviews


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Sun May 26, 2019 5:09 pm
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Liberty wrote a review...



Hey Dossereana!

Hope you're doing well today or tonight, obviously depending on what side of the world you're on, my dear friend. I'm here to give this amazing, well-flowed, chapter a review! Alright, let's get to it. First of all, I really love how your story is coming along. The flow is going well and I'm really loving your plot. Your characters are too good to be true. I think that so far, my favorite character would be Morbeck. Yeah, definitely.

Now, there were a few things that I'd like to point out. Let's start from... Let's see... Here:

Talon Eye new very well now of what Morbeck mite talk about.


There's a spelling error here; you wrote mite, but it's actually supposed to be might. And, you have this error in quite a lot of places, so just run through your chapter again.

Morbeck came up to the plat form and looked strait at everyone else in the room.


Strait is what you wrote, but the actual spelling would be straight. You were close enough, fren. Also, I love the confidence this eagle has! Shocks me! XD

"Chief the hole thing then were you said that our children have to come next to us in battle is the most stopped thing that I can think of, our sons and daughters will be killed for the will be the easier target, " he said with no hesitation, but still feeling very uncoverta bill about judging there chief.


So over here, there were quite a few things. The word hole is meant to be whole. I'm pretty sure that for stopped you meant stupid. That's the only word I thought would fit into this context. Stooped obviously wouldn't have worked. So I'm guessing it's stupid. And then there's uncoverta bill, it's actually meant to be uncomfortable. It's not that hard to spell. If you did it this way:

un-comfor-table

Would that make it a bit easy? I hope so. And then the last bold word, is actually meant to be their instead of there. Homophones can be so hard! And my goodness, I'm loving Morbeck right now. <3

Coltharn said looking strate at Morbeck with a very sears face.


So the first bold word is actually supposed to be straight and the second bold word is actually supposed to be serious.

“Well I feel like that was a waist of time don’t you,”


The bold word is supposed to be waste. The word waist has a totally different meaning.

“No I do not, now can you pleas[b] go I need my space,”

“just [b]pleas can you go now,”


Now in these two quotes, you can see that you didn't add that e at the end of both pleas's.

Talon Eye heaved in a sie as he heard Takasol walking away from his room. He then went to his desk and picked up a photo of his hole family,


So the first bold word is supposed to be sigh, instead and the second one is meant to be whole.

The glass broke into serval peace’s. at that very point Talon Eye went over to his bed and collapsed on to it, the bed mad a treble squeaking nouice.


1. serval -> several
2. nouice -> noise

Talon Eye throught as he sobbed and cried more and more. At this point a door opened and in came Tarath. He closed the door as he sore Talon Eye cry on his bed and the photos glass smashed on the floor.


1. throught -> thought
2. sore -> saw (You make this mistake in a couple other places so you may wanna go back and check on it.)
3. cry -> crying (There is no spelling error. You just needed to the past tense. :)

"Hay I no how you feel, I felt like this when I was at this point of my life to," Tarath said as he animatedly new what was wrong with him,


1. no -> know
2. new -> knew

You had these two mistakes in other places, by the way, so just keep your eyes open for that.

"I am going to go now and train, you can come and join us for training if you want to, but I am shore[b] that it won't mater if you miss today,"


The bold word is indeed a word, but not the right word. It sounds very much like [b]sure, but I'm afraid it isn't the same word.

Talon Eye walked out of his room and went strait to the Training arina.


The first bold word is actually meant to be straight. The second bold word is meant to be arena.

Talon Eye and Targothar felt the presher of the metal under them as they flew up.


You know what I thought was really cool here? How the eagles flied even though there's so much weight on them. I was like, whoa. These are some extra fit eagles! Just one thing here, the bold word is supposed to be pressure. And you know what's funny? I used to spell pressure the same way you do! 0_0

Two more then enmeadetly came into the battle.


"all right stop you five, your done, you have all ready done your training you may move so that our genrell will be teaching you now," Tarath said impressed with how much they had leaned. They had ganed the strength and skill, to pull there way.


1. genrell -> general[b]
2. [b]leaned
-> learned (I'm pretty sure you're fingers were flying over the keyboard so you forgot the r)
3. ganed -> gained

"I cannot believe it were moving up does this mean I will become a solder?"


The first bold word is missing it's apostrophe that is supposed to go right in the middle. And then, there's the second bold word. It's actually supposed to be [b]soldiers[b]. Anyways, that's it. Hopefully this review helped. I loved reading your chapter and I loved reviewing it as much! :D Oh, before I forget, if you found that anything I said was rude, then please tell me or just flat out ignore it. <3

Happy Review Day!

And as always...

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500




Vulcanite says...


Don't worry your review helped me lots, bye the way I have still got chapters to this story, but I am re writing it, to make it a hole lot better. I hope that is okay. I will keep posting thing other chapters though until there all gone. :D



Liberty says...


Oh! Thanks!



Vulcanite says...


:) I hope your not to upset that I am re writing it.



Liberty says...


Not at all! :D



Vulcanite says...


Oh good.



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Fri May 24, 2019 8:25 am
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello Eagle. I'm just here to do a short review on your work, and to help get it out the green room.
I did see one thing in the name of your story that I have been meaning to point out.

Eagle Times Book One Solgers To A Lost Fight ~ Chapter 4 Training Hard

As you know from other reviews I have given you the word in bold is the one that needs to be fixed. Now you spell that word like this 'soldiers'.

There are a few other spelling mistakes that you will pick up if you read through your work a few more times, and you will get better at fixing the more your writing. But I will go ahead and show you one of them.
"I cannot believe it were moving up does this mean I will become a solder?"

This is a mistake I used to make so don't worry you will get better at fixing things like this soon. The word in bold you spell it like this, 'we're'.

But other than that I love what you have here, everything is flowing together really well. And I can see your plot coming along quit well, it's getting rather interesting, so I look forward to what will happen next.
And I'm loving your description, that is just coming along really well, and I'm starting to feel like I'm being pulled into your story quit a bit now.
And I'm really loving that you are starting to go into Talon Eye's character quit a bit now, and we are getting to know quit a few others two. That that is being really well done.

The only thing is that you have quit a few spelling mistakes, but I'm sure you will get better at it as you grow up.
I'm really glad to see that you are getting better ate your writing, and I'm glad I had the chance to read and review yet again another one of your wonderful chapters. I do hope you will keep writing amazing things, and have a great day.

Your friend, and faithful reader
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion.




Vulcanite says...


Sorry for the late reply to this, but I did not get the Notification, so yeah weird, but any ways thanks for the great review it is always so helpful to me in the up coming stuff that I write. :D





Your welcome.




It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
— Mark Twain