Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Imagine

by Dipro


Speak of the forgotten wastelands,

Of the Glimmering Pearls Beneath The Depthless Blues

Adorn The Ancient Valleys

Hear the Speckled Fields

Talk Of The Flagging Silences

Of the wild eyes,the simmering human hunger

Imagine the sky with the glistening spectrum of a Dripping Rainbow

Bathe the horizon with Diaphanous whorls of Red Light

Forage through the pathless woods

Coax Back The Lost Words

Write Without Inhibitions,Plumb the depths of souls

Dip into the reveries,Tread the Labyrinths

For A Heart,For A Mind,And For Things Beyond


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27 Reviews


Points: 122
Reviews: 27

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Mon Dec 19, 2022 5:48 am
NothingMore905 says...



Imagination can go anywhere, it gives ideas to people who have a very creative heart and mind, it isn't easy, but its worth it when you become a unique person in a world full of normalities, the world is yet to be discovered, but our minds go infinitely when it comes to imagination.




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60 Reviews


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Reviews: 60

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Fri Dec 16, 2022 10:43 pm
PoetryMisfit wrote a review...



Hi Dipro.

I don’t usually review poetry because it is not my strong suit but I was intrigued by yours and I wanted to share some of my thoughts after reading it.

Overall Impressions:
This poem captures the essence of imagination and how vastly its depths can be explored through writing. As writers we tap into our imaginations constantly when we conjure worlds and the characters within them. Your descriptions provide examples of how vivid and visceral our words can be, as well as employing great imagery. One of my favorite uses of this is in the line: “Bathe the horizon with Diaphanous whorls of Red Light.” I had to look up the word “diaphanous” that you used here, which was great because I love writing that expands my vocabulary.

Specific Impressions:
I noticed your capitalizations varied line to line and I didn’t quite understand the significance of that. Like I said, poetry isn’t my strong suit so if this is a poetic device, it eludes me.

As I mentioned before, you incorporate many great uses of imagery that provide a visceral experience for the reader. Each line evokes an image that I could clearly visualize in my mind, engaging my imagination.

I like how you start each line with a verb, which employs an active writing style and makes the language even stronger.

I would recommend spacing each of the phrases in the last line to remove the clustered visual. I noticed that the lack of spacing distracted from the message, which was a very powerful one. It’s a call to action for the reader to plunge into the depths of their heart and mind, and expand the limits of what they can imagine.

This is a very beautiful piece that resonated with me deeply being a writer myself and always striving to stretch the limits of how far my imagination can go.

Thanks for sharing!
Poetry Misfit




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1154 Reviews


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Wed Dec 07, 2022 3:27 am
lliyah wrote a review...



Hey Dipro! A belated welcome to YWS, I thought this was a really interesting poem here.

I agree with @Parks0311 you've got some great word choice in this! I think a growing edge would be working on some of the formatting / grammatical aspects for continuity - I'll share a few examples:

1) Capitalization

Right now it appears like you're just capitalizing certain words without rhyme or reason and it's a bit distracting. This is a good resource on the different classic methods of capitalizing. I think it tends to work to do either Sentence Capitalization (where you capitalize at the beginning of a complete sentence only. Or to do line capitalization where you capitalize at the beginning of each new line only. Or a combination of both (ie. beginning of new lines and beginning of sentences). The way you have it here you sometimes capitalize nouns, sometimes articles, and it makes it a bit hard to decipher where one thought starts and ends.

2) Punctuation

A tip for the future is that in conventional English writing people tend to put a space after a comma. I'd suggest doing this as it makes things a bit smoother to read and I think will give your work a more polished look. I noticed this issue in the 6th line, and the last two.

For A Heart,For A Mind,And For Things Beyond


Should be:

For A Heart, For A Mind, And For Things Beyond


You also might take a second look at your punctuation choices or lack-thereof and whether it's helping or hindering understanding.

Meaning
As far as the meaning of your poem I would say it looked like you were maybe going for portraying the beauty of nature and how it is a simile to humanity and "beyond". It's a little ethereal in mood and a little hard to grasp at meaning, but it is interesting and you definitely do start to paint a picture with your words here. I think another area you could work on might be to try to picture your poem in your head - what is happening at each line, how is it contributing to an overall story / picture / message? Right now some of the lines didn't quite connect together into one continuous whole, but I think you can get there! I also noticed that you posted it in the romantic genre but I was reading it in more of a philosophical / nature sense, so I thought that was a bit interesting!

Definitely keep writing, your poetry is unique and I'd love to see some more!

All the best,

alliyah



Random avatar
Dipro says...


Thank you for such a detailed review !



lliyah says...


You're welcome!



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Points: 8
Reviews: 4

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Tue Dec 06, 2022 12:45 am
Parks0311 says...



I love the imagery shown in this piece of work. Your word choice is excellent. Especially the line "Dip into the reveries,Tread the Labyrinths" I could really imagine a dense forest. Overall, great job! Keep up the great work!





What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god -- the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!
— William Shakespeare