Within five hours into their trek, heading southwest, the trio hit a forest. The forest was full of imposing pine trees, most of which were thicker than Fael’s chest. Ferns and other low-growing shrubbery grew along the roots of the trees and moss blanketed parts of the trunks and even stretched down to the ground. Hardly any light filtered through the canopy, but Fael could see even the tiniest details in the trunks.
Zono had told him only a few hours ago that turning into a dragonry heightened his senses, which Fael expected and experienced. There were times where he was so lost in his new senses that the man had to enter his mind to direct Fael’s attention back to him.
It was learning to cope with those senses that Fael was worried about. Zono was sure to tell him stories of dragonries who couldn’t handle the sudden influx of information and going insane. Others died from shock, their hearts pumping so fast that it stopped without warning. The rest were executed by their makers or from other dragonries.
After another two hours of trekking, Zono directed the blue barrah over to a large pine tree. The roots partially encircled the space before it. The space, dominated by ferns and rocks, was large enough to just fit the trio.
“We’ll camp here for the night,” said the man, dismounting Arona and relieving her of the harness. The mottled beast slipped into the forest as soon as the last of the leather harness was pulled from her body. She disappeared behind a tree, her paw steps fading from earshot.
Fael swung his ears forward, surprised, as he came to a stop. But the sun’s still up! We can go a bit farther before we stop, can’t we?
“For you, maybe,” retorted the other. “Your eyesight is better than mine and Arona’s.” He laid out a pan and his knife. “I won’t have you hunting yet, so for now I want you to focus on your sense of smell.”
The purple dragonry clawed over the roots and settled on the ground. He let his wings sag and curled his tail close. Okay.
Zono pulled some sheets of paper out from a purse and began to tear and crumple them. He glanced at the dragonry, a small smile on his face. “Oh, don’t get comfortable! I want you to walk around for a while, smelling everything. I want you to continue doing that for the rest of our journey. Even without me, you may find yourself traveling with other dragonries in the future.”
Fael perked his ears, but before he could ask any questions Zono commanded, “Go. Explore. You have until my dear Arona returns. I’ll call for you.”
Fine. The beast stood and leapt once more over the roots, tail slapping the wood. He trotted off a ways to the south and stopped at the roots of a crooked pine tree that must’ve been, at least, twice the size of the one Zono chose to set up camp. Fael stretched his neck forward and stared up the tree’s outstretched branches. Beaming from the very top was sunlight, some of it sparkling on clumps of needles. Little birds shuffled their wings and hopped along the length of the branches; some even attempted to hide from Fael upon noticing his presence.
Fael inhaled deeply, but all he could detect was the spice of the pine, warm but strong.
He pulled away, studying the trunk and the roots before him. His ears perked when he saw moss. Yes! I haven’t eaten in so long! Fael sunk his claws into the wood and began to climb.
I have to smell it first. It smelled sweet, just like how he remembered it from when he still had the body of a maelin.
Fael recoiled, the anger and sadness over his transformation boiling in his chest. Still had the body of a maelin, huh? Once more Fael sunk his claws into the wood and began to tear at the roots. The dragonry arched his neck and let out an explosive snort. Zono just had to come my way, didn’t he? I should still be in my summer semester! I’ve missed so many classes because of him! My family… Tears ran down his cheeks and his body shook with soft sobs.
Why did it have to be me?
He took a moment to calm his raging nerves and shook his head free of his tears. It’s done now. I can’t…do anything. Fael ducked his head and scraped moss away from the roots with his teeth. It was not as sweet as it smelled, but Fael could taste the spice of pine underneath.
When the dragonry had his fill of the moss, he trotted away. Hunger still gnawed at his stomach, however. If he could, Fael would’ve eaten grass and flowers during the trek, but Zono had ensnared him with the stories of dragonries who couldn’t take their transformations. It didn’t help that he wasn’t stingy with the details of their deaths.
Should I practice on my hearing? Fear clutched his heart in the same way his claws sank into the roots; what if he descended into madness like the other dragonries and had to be executed?
He recoiled. No! As much as he loathed his situation, Fael didn’t want to die. At least, in this form, he could return to his family and let them know that he was still alive—whenever that would happen. I’ll just stick to my nose for now.
End of chapter
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Hello, there! Kilg here with a review!
I really enjoyed this piece, and must I say that the title caught my eyes and made me jump to read it. I enjoy the piece for many reasons.
1. Pacing
You didn't jump right in and leap from topic to next. You slowed down, focusing on descriptive detail and character development, which as a writer myself, is something I appreciate. I did notice that the character burst into tears at the one point though, and I feel as though it is slightly unrealistic. However, it was good otherwise.
2. Detail
I love when writers use nice detail to describe their world they portray. So props to you for that.
3. Over all Topic
It intrigued me since the beginning, so well done!
Anyways, that's all I have for now. Keep on writing and have a nice day!
~Kilg
Hey Dididub, here for a Review Day review!
As I have read any of the previous chapters, I'll focus more on the aesthetics of this piece.
Impressions: Nice fantasy you've got here, with your own ideas thrown into it. To be honest, when I read "dragonfly" I figured it would be like a falconry , meaning, a place where they race falcons.
I'm sure this was explained earlier, though.
Your style is pretty standard, with a classic third person PoV and some basic, but intriguing descriptions of things to keep the reader interested.
Advice:
Anytime you repeat yourself right after saying something there should be a red flag that goes up. I noticed several of these while reading. They feel tacky and unkempt.
This part is good for your story, but your character seems a little unrealistic as he just all of a sudden starts crying. We know why, but it feels a little unnatural for the scene. Too fast.
Overall, though, I liked it.
I give it: