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To Be a Dragonry Pt 2

by Dibidub


Fael wanted to run, but where could he go? Back to the Farris Academy of Botanical Arts? He could, but he had no idea where Green Eyes had hoarded him for the last few days, and he doubted that the academy population would be pleased by a dragon-like beast screaming as it burst through the stone walls. Due to having maelin blood, Fael could survive out in the wild by eating plant life, but he’d soon become desperate for interaction and wander. What if people killed him on sight?

He had no choice but to stay with Green Eyes.

Fael dipped his head and lowered his tongue into the broth, scooping it into his mouth, and shivered at its warmth and rich taste. The meat was tender to the point of practically melting on his tongue and the vegetables were cooked to perfection. What is this? he asked as he ladled more soup into his mouth and chewed.

Green Eyes packed his books and parchments into a purse, which was then strapped to a harness. “The meat comes from a creature that looks like a mix between a deer and a goat. I just call the soup ‘broth’. Or just soup.”

Where are we going?

“There is a clump of mountain ranges to the west of the continent that are divided into five districts. Your destination is Redwood, also known as Abun, which is down southwest. It’ll take at least three months to get there.”

Fael nearly choked. You’re taking me away? He wanted to scream again, this time in sorrow and fury. You stole my future, and now you’re stealing me from my friends and family?

Green Eyes made a clicking noise and Arona padded over to him, allowing him to strap the harness to her body. The mottled beast stood as tall as a draft horse. “A job is a job, and my boss happens to…dislike failure. I’ve seen it firsthand.” He paused in what he was doing and his eyes clouded over. Green Eyes shuddered. “He doesn’t give second chances. He doesn’t even give the ‘you’ve disappointed me’ lecture before he deals his punishment! It’s just…yeah.”

He’s not someone I want to serve under! A deep rumble vibrated in Fael’s body and he bared his teeth. Arona pinned her ears again and hissed.

The man shook his head. “Abun is under the control of someone who is kinder. But don’t worry about that,” he added as he tightened the last straps of the saddle. “Hurry up and eat! The seasons will change by the time you’re halfway finished!”

Fael snorted and lapped at the broth. What’s your name? I should get that much from you, if I’m to travel the continent with my kidnapper.

He chuckled, walking around his mount. “I guess I do owe you that much. Call me Zono.” Zono bowed.

Fael.

“That’s the name of your previous body. You have a new body, and thus you need a new name. It’s tradition amongst the dragonries, going back nearly three thousand years.”

The dragonry stared at him, appalled. His indigo fur spiked. I don’t want to throw away my name!

“Whether by your doing or someone else’s,” warned Zono, standing tall, “you will get a new name. It’d best be by your own choice.”

Fael dropped his gaze, the sting of tears assaulting his eyes. He shut them and pursed his lips. I don’t want to do this, Zono, he whined, his words heavy with sadness. Why did it have to be me? Days ago, before he woke up here, Fael chose to walk through the courtyard of the academy instead of grabbing a snack from the cafeteria and taking a nap. How could such a decision change his life so much? Why are you taking me away from everything I’ve known?

“Soon you will know new things and people.” Zono’s voice was soft. “Isn’t that what life is about—change? Like I said, you were at the right place at the wrong time.”

He shook his long, purple head, desperate to change the subject. Do I need to pick a new name now?

“You have until we reach Abun.”


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802 Reviews


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Mon Sep 26, 2016 7:13 am
Dracula wrote a review...



Hey there, Dibidub! I really enjoyed reading this. The language you use is simple (no massive words) but really descriptive. Your amazing imagery helped me imagine each scene vividly in my mind's eye, and it was overall a well-polished chapter/part. I thought I'd highlight a couple of sentences which stood out to me as particularly well written: The meat was tender to the point of practically melting on his tongue and the vegetables were cooked to perfection. It's a minor detail, but I genuinely believed he was enjoying that food. ;) That’s the name of your previous body. You have a new body, and thus you need a new name. This bit of speech was magical and informative. And I should say that your dialogue overall was very good. However, there were some areas where having Fael's speech in italic made it seem a little choppy. Is it not possible to just use speech marks instead of italics? It's up to you, of course. :D Thanks for sharing this!




Dibidub says...


Thank you for reading my story!

I use the italics because Fael is telepathic. In fact, all dragonries are telepathic because they immediately lose the ability to speak upon being transformed. In this story, using quotations would imply that Fael is actually talking, which is impossible by the rules I set up.

Again, thank you for reading and thanks for the review!



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Mon Sep 26, 2016 2:47 am
TheSilverFox wrote a review...



Hello, Dibidub! As a purveyor of multitudes of fantasy stories (and a writer of one), I thought it would be appropriate that I review one. And I'm impressed! As a chapter, this is a strong and emotional piece. The main character is clearly not having a good time, and the way you portray him as he grapples with the fact that he is being pulled away from everything and everyone he knew is brilliant. Fael is a fascinating character, due to his unique situation, and perhaps his upbringing as well. Here is where I must apologize, as I have not yet read the preceding chapter. However, it seems here that he is most certainly not human - indeed, his fear of being killed in the opening descriptions and his thinking of himself as a dragon-like beast gives me that general impression. Evidently, Zono's boss is not a normal man with normal interests either if he asks someone under his control to capture somebody like Fael, which leaves me incredibly curious as to that man's intentions and goals. Regardless, the dragonry seems like a complex character stricken with a horrific decision, in spite of the fact that his captor is assuring him that where they are heading is safe (and, while Zono has come across as nice and respectful, it's hard to trust the man who has kidnapped you and is about to take you from your entire life). This is conveyed through his array of thoughts and sensations as he grapples with the fact itself, and is both extensive and impressive quality-wise, as you are able to vividly describe each of his questions and dismay, particularly as he now even has to change his identity. Thus, when it comes to the character and emotional development of this story, I'm impressed.

On the other hand, there are a couple things I'd like to note. In particular, when one uses italics, they usually use it to implicate that somebody is thinking something. That's what I do, at least. When two characters are talking, their words are explicitly defined by their speaker tags (he said, she said, they said, so on...). Now, in this case, I don't know if Fael is telepathic, and is thus thinking those thoughts, which Green Eyes can understand, or if this is some kind of an attempt to distinguish Fael's speech. In the case of the latter, drop it. It's unhelpful, a little distracting, and not an appropriate use of italics. Beyond that, I'm a little surprised to see Fael has never had broth before, as it is fairly simply to make and common, although that is justified by the fact that he seems to marginally prefer to eat plants (and came from a botanical garden). Actually, in that case, wouldn't he be a little repulsed by the idea of eating meat? That just doesn't seem to make a lot of sense.

Regardless, all in all, I liked this story! Great job! The emotional and character development was fantastic, on top of the complex plot. It was well-written, flowed smoothly, and showed a great amount of skill with using English spelling and grammar conventions to their fullest impact. I enjoyed reading this from start to finish, and I found this to be a good fantasy piece. Best of luck as you write your next chapters, and thank you for presenting this one! :D




Dibidub says...


Thanks for the kind words!

I use the italics because Fael (and all dragonries) are telepathic. I'll get into why Zono can suddenly hear and understand Fael's thoughts in a later chapter.

Yes, Fael was originally a creature who can eat plants. His diet transferred over to his dragonry form, but he is fully capable of eating meat raw, rotten, or cooked. He tends to eat plants more often because they have a variety of tastes.

(And Fael most likely had broth before, but not the kind Zono makes! It's some killer stuff.)

Again, thank you for the kind words and for reading my story!




We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
— William Shakespeare