In the midst of loneliness,
something whispers in my desperate heart.
I find myself numb for something,
even sometime for someone.
but can't figure out that face.
I dream,so silently so deep inside my heart.
How mysterious the world is!
so do I,so does that dreamy face.
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130,098 Literary Works • 671,511 Reviews
Hi there,
It might look a bit fast to review on someone's poetry work; in fact me is not a poetry-buff after all..
Yet, i can't help saying, words on your heart are in deed inscribed in quite a subtle manner (i wish, this very attribute were in me :/ )
Actually, drew your attention through review panel for a query.Your cute poem, invariably Seemed like a ghost letter. if my guess work hits the right point, hoping for your say
^_^
Truly speaking, loved every bit of this short but touching symphony. Keep writing, let the voice of melancholy soar high above.
one last thing, go for PROSE work too, u can beat it
Hope maelstroM12
hello there,
Thanks for your review. your review proves that your writing will be vary fascinating.I'll peruse those vary soon.But unfortunately I'm not understanding what you've meant by "ghost latter"?
*letter
wc
nothing special actually. intended to add spice to your rhyme poetry. truth to tell, the lines appeared to be symbolic, not easily perceiving
and me is no more than an amateur in this platform, hope to follow the footsteps of the experts
have a nice journey
Hello there! Welcome to YWS, hope you love it here! I'm Mialynire welcoming you and might as well leave you a review (Preferably a helpful one ^_^) So, let's go!
First, let's talk from the beginning. I loved the starting, it allows the readers picture something. The third line though, I don't understand the meaning of "Numb" there. "I find myself numb for something?" I don't understand it, replacing the word "Numb" would sound better in my opinion. In the fourth line it says, "even sometime for someone" rewriting it would be better. I could rewrite it for you but, I can see your poem rhymes and I'm awful at rhyming poems so, I better not try, hope you understand! xD In the last line, I think it should be, "So am I, so is that dreamy face."
However, your poem is nice, it's short and sweet too. But, it's little foggy, maybe it's meant to be that way but, a little clearer description would be appreciated and yeah, that's almost it! Also, your poem has a refreshing touch in it, keep that up and never stop writing and stay extraordinary! All the love~ x
Hi Mialynire,
Thank you for reviewing .Your information is really helpful and I will work on it again ^^
Thank you for everything!
Hi, Hope here,
I can't tell if you meant this to be sad or not, but for me, it was a sad poem. I loved it! You really have a talent in making poems. Your rhythm was good, too, and that's hard to accomplish. I just wish it was longer. I want to read more of what you can write. And I'm excited for what you'll do next, so keep up the good work.
Could you be a bit more descriptive? There's nothing wrong with your poem, I just want more details. I think that would add a lot. I don't really understand the last line, though.
Keep up the fantastic work,
Hope Summers
Hi Hope,
It's good to know that you've liked my work.I'll try to improve myself as you say.
Thank you again ^^
Your welcome! You're really good at writing!