The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner

Okay, first of D, good job i liked they way you took her character and seemed to put life into her and in my opinion, better than she could herself haha. (i have issues with ms. meyer) lol. I think that this shows promise. The seriousness of the writers above i think is what gets major critics of work I would assume. Me, not having a full understanding/opinion of fan-fiction, thought that it was quite entertaining and some lines in this were absolutely gold!
Good job overall
Tommybear

I on;y have something really quick to say. This should be in fanfiction considering it revolves around a character you did not create. I don't like the Twilight series and I think fanfiction is a waste of time but this was a pretty good poem, structure and rhyme wise.

~Jas

Thanks I don't use punctuaction in my poetry, but I guess it's time to start... Do you need puncuation? Anyways, your review helped and I reread the things you said needed editing and I totally agree. *edit*

I remember reading this , I was such a fan of the series ^.^
I think you did an excellent job of summarizing the book in poem form! I really loved it(:
Let's see if I can help any?

Bree Tanner: The Tragic Ending

The life of Bree Tanner;
So short, yet fulfilled-
A vampire whose fate
Meant her getting killed.

Her life ended tragic,
Her life was so short.
A realization of her errors
As a last resort. [I don't entirely understand this..]

Just a newborn-
Still so much to see.
Just a young one,
Misled by Riley.

Her only friend murdered,
Another escaped.
She ran into battle,
Heroic, I say. [My favorite line ^.^]

Captured in the end -
She gave up violent habits.
Compassion was given
By the one who drinks rabbits. [Brilliant!]

In the end the Volturi,
The Vampire Law,
Still saw her as a rule-breaker; [This line sounds like it could be shortened to flow better...]
That's all that they saw.

So Bree sat there sadly,
Her loose ends all tied,
Bree knew it was coming [personally I would use 'She' rather than 'Bree']
The day that she died.