Barren, white walls glare at me
Grey skies oppress me
Faces like stone are all around me.
"Be normal," they tell me in their blank voices,
"Blend in," is their motto as they
Waste away their lives in front of me.
I won't let myself become like a robot
Unable to do anything beyond ordinary.
I have always liked the extraordinary, it's time to
Tell the world that.
I sing songs at the top my lungs,
I run in puddles when it rains,
I dress like a model from
Outer space,
I draw the weird and wacky on buildings once so dull and white in bright colors
And no one can stop me.
They try
With their guns and rules
But I skip ahead,
Splashing them with every step,
A huge grin on my face.
"Someday we will make you normal again," they vow,
Frustrated that I am
Still there.
"Someday we will have you obey our rules like
Any other citizen.
Someday."
I just keep on splashing and singing
Laughing and smearing my messages on unsuspecting walls
With bright colors
And no one can stop me.
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Canary word: Present
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140,778 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
Hi Shikora here with a review for you.
I really liked the name of this poem it drew me in right away. I like how you've put so much emotion and so many feelings into this one poem. As much as I liked this poem I couldn't help but see a few things that I think I need to mention. So lets get right to it.
Now this was really nice but I couldn't help that this could be one sentence or you could right it like this.
This one I think you should just make it one sentence.
There are a few others like this through out your poem and I wont mention all of them but if you want me to then just ask.
I feel like this sentence is a bit to long. You can ether take some words out, but I wouldn't so that but it's your choice. The next option is the put a comber in there some were. To find out were it is suited you should just read it aloud to yourself and you will see.
Well I really liked reviewing this poem. I hope it helped. Never stop writing and have a great day/night.
Your friend
Shikora.
Thanks
Your welcome.
Hey , DefianceDagger,
Muzzammil here for a review,..... First of all , your poem is nice , the way you describe it and the words you choose are awsome . Some to note are that when you have started with rhyming, it's look good but then you broke , it breaks the tempo and if you want to do it, you can write you poem in stanza . It will be much more attractive. However, the poem is awsome and i hope you keep on writing like this . ☺
If you have time , visit my profile and give reviews , it will be very inspiring for me. ☺
Thanks