Darkness

This is so sad. It really makes me feel sorry in an appropriate way for the narrator. I am left with two questions. This could be seen as a suicide, correct? And it could also be read from the viewpoint of a murder victim, hunted down and killed (perhaps by a jealous love interest?).

There don't seem to be any periods. I'm not going to go all Punctuation Correction Reviewer on you, because I believe the authors of poems are allowed to use no or little punctuation, as well as fluctuate in spacing, lettering, capitalization, and formatting however they want. Even without periods added, I as a reader can still understand this poem. Don't let others' criticisms tell you to conform to their version of how they think YOUR work should be written.

I like the repetitious line of "I will never know", solidifying a point of uncertainty and confusion for the reader. It makes a solid way of inducing natural fear and scary things that happen during/after death. You as an author have a wonderfully deep, dark way of wtiting. I love this. You are talented and creative and very effective in tugging at my heartstrings. Please post more work like this! I was satisfied reading your poem.

Your friend of the reviewers,

Pizzaroll (cheese not yucky pepperoni)

Your poem is written in a very beautiful manner but its unintended message of romanticizing suicide can lead a person on the verge of it into doing it. I'm sure that isn't the purpose of your poem but it can lead to that in the case of a vulnerable mind at the end of its rope. It is also a negation of what the Bible tells us about a resurrection. That there is nothing but eternal darkness. That the scriptures are lying and that consequently, so was Jesus.

Sorry but that is how I perceive it as a reader.

Hey there! Hope you don't mind if I leave a quick review.

Overall, I just want to say that you created a beautiful piece here. Though I don't particularly enjoy the romanticism of death or suicide (which is what I perceived this as, though If I'm wrong, please don't take offence), I will just admire your way with creating a story as dark as this, and you definitely have a talent with dark themes. I'm not sure if you usually write poetry or not, but I definitely think you should do more!

I reach my hands out

But they are greeted with nothing more

Except the hollow echo of the nothing

Hi. This is kman134. I'm here to review your poem.

the images of darkness and despair conversed brilliantly. seeing the romanticism of death may be beautiful and liberating, but in the end it doesn't matter if you kill yourself or not. because of ending your life, you will never know if it was truly worth it.

a poem with the themes of nihilism and suicide are hard to come across. however, you've managed to pull it off nicely. lastly, the question of your place in the universe has always been a main focal point for humanity's existential search for purpose.

"It was a romantic way to die

The silent fall

The silent crack of bones

The darkness washing over

Darkness or water?

I will never know"

this was my favorite part of the poem. The feeling of loneliness and contempt really echoed in each line. it also emphasizes the feeling of having your body broken and the feeling of pain emitting in your body while sweet blissful death sweeps over your body.

I like this poem. it screams out the underlying point of why we do what we do, and why we never terminate our own lives to be free from the world's trivialities. I hope to read more of your poems.