Dying World
We stood at the end of the world.
It was a dying world now, seized of all its life.
From space the planet once shimmered like a diamond, now it lay as deathly black coal.
All its beauty lost, and with it, all its life.
Nothing takes root here now, no hope, love, or life.
Were we responsible or had we been betrayed?
It is said that the very force that cradled our life had forsaken us.
Long ago the reassuring yellow glow in the heavens started becoming ever brighter.
One day the nurturing hand became a blazing sword, looting us of all that we held dear.
The sun’s anger brought the world unforeseen misery.
It began when our seas melted into the heavens.
Once an eternal blue body now looked a sickly grey, filled with the lost souls of sea-dwellers.
Soon the rivers tired and the roar of waterfalls became a legend of the past.
The birds and animals in the forests stopped their chatter as the reassuring green roof over our planet turned into a barren brown wasteland.
The sun’s deathly light tore families and countries apart as every speck of green was eaten up.
We saw the youngest of children lose hope and the oldest of men fight their blood for what little was left.
If at first hunger, despair and war didn’t succeed the deathly cold winter finished our kind.
There was a time when hope reigned eternal.
Man searched for ways to change their fate, to conquer the sun that had betrayed us.
Man dug deep to save itself and found nothing but starvation.
Man looked to the heavens to find salvation but our promised land lay billions of years from reach.
It was decided then in secret to send men into space to remain there in a eternal haven.
They would be the last of our kind.
We crave to hear the cries of children and the singing of birds.
We lie in space where no sound flows, no wind blows and no sun sets the sky alight.
No seasons remain any more, never again will we hear the rustle of autumn leaves, feel the warmth of the ground or leave presents for children under a snowy Christmas tree.
Yet hope lives on in eternal darkness with a wish for the legends of the past to become realities once more.
Thanks for the reviews guys
Really interesting poem.
It had a good flow and gave me a discription of your concept. It all worked well together and the elements of the poem were truly breathtaking.
I hope to read more from you soon.
-Hiccup
A very dark and forboding poem that probably has exaggerated the soon to be effects of global warming. Of course you have gone and made it into a natural effect and i like it that way. I like how you did not mention all that stuff about carbon dioxide. It is very sad and hopless this poem. Its one of those things that puts everything in a cloak of sorrow that seems endless. Of course people snap out of it but whilst reading they are emersed within because you have very successfully created such a feeling. Very well done with that.
However if i had a complaint it would be that at points you need to make it more of a poem rather than a story. when reading i realised some of it could easily have been from a story. At the start you talk about all the bad things and then there is a part where you go into doing the explanation of what happened. After such a cloudly start i think you explained things to fast. I think you should have taken your time. In poetry there is no need to make things absolutely clear. All you need to do is convey some of your meanings and intentions and then you should leave the rest for the reader to interpret as they wish.
I also like the element of hope. that bit is really striking and its very general in the sense that its something that happenes everyday. Hope truelly is eternal because its free and it offers salvation where otherwise there would be absolutely nothing. I like how at the end the poem ends with hope as if there is a light at the end of tunnel. although you have not revealed if there truelly is or if there is just a hope for it. Either way it can be interpreted by the reader as they see fit which is exactly why i like it so much. I believe poetry should have more meanings than one.
Well done