Emptiness consumes me,
Therefore I cannot believe,
Happiness is an answer,
But it only means you breathe.
-
In a candy shop of broken hearts,
With empty wishes,
Bottles of black liquid.
Sometimes you have to see,
My teeth have rot from doubts..
But I do not believe that,
You need darkness to taste light.
Because there’s always a shattered piece.
-
A lightbulb flickers,
Is my mind a construct or alive?
I know the answers to despair,
I know that my heart still beats,
While we all want to die.
-
I know the feeling of being loved,
Though I believe that,
It’s just a memory.
-
(Read it again backwards)
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139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
I am in absolute awe at how well written this is. It is detailed and well thought out and just absolutely amazing. I love that you've written it to be a forward and backward read poem, the same words with opposite meaning and I absolutely love the lines "Therefore I cannot believe, Emptiness consumes me," because while they are simple words, you've given them immense power and meaning. I don't really see anything that I would improve on with this, its just really really really well written and completely awesome! Thank you for writing this!!
Hey I just have to say that this is absolutly amazing. The flow was great. It was so creative and I loved how different it was from most poems. The descriptions were great and there was lots of figurative language in there that I liked. At first I thought it was just an okay poem but then when I got to the end and read it backwards I liked it alot. It has a double meaning that makes it really unique, true and raw. Thanks so much for writing. I would love to see more poems done in a style like this.
Hello Daria
This is amazing🤗😊
I love how you did it in reverse and forward it's very creative. But the first part kind of confused me but when I read it backward it made sense. It's really descriptive and actually pretty inspiring. There may be a few errors but from what i can see iys good the way it is. I also love the emotional change here. I hope you write more like this one, tag me, or post on my wall if you want me to read anymore. Anyways I need to get back to school😝 next time
Sincerely
Anma
Hiya Daria!
Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you're on, obviously. I'm here to give you a review! Let's get started now, shall we? This poem needs to get out of the Green Room.
So, first of all, lemme just say: THIS IS AMAZING.
I love how you wrote the poem. The feelings definitely get out into the world, and it makes me actually feel for the person. It touched my heart, I tell you, in ways not many do. ^^
Now, your grammar and everything, was like... *brain explodes* fantastic! I didn't see anything that needed to be fixed, but just a very very very tiny thing: you had an ellipses, or it could be just one period, over here:
I'm not sure if that was just supposed to be one period or three. And if it were three, it would have been ellipses. Anyways, another thing I really loved about this poem is how you can read it from top to bottom and bottom to top. It doesn't sound at all confusing. It's absolutely perfect, I tell you, Daria!!
One very tiny thing I wanted to ask you: Can I share your poems link on my wall? This needs to be shown to everyone out there!
Well, that's it for my review/complimentary. Hope this helped in some sort of way and I can't wait to see more from you soon! Of course, if you've got any questions, feel free to ask whenever!
Keep on writing!
~Liberty
Sure, you can share it. Thank you <3
Sure thing!
I love these types of poems and I think you have written this one beautifully.
I love how it's the opposite backward. And that shows true talent.
There are obviously a few issues, but mainly I think that you have a goood sense of grammar and vocabulary. I love it ((:
Hello! FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this rainy day, and to help get your work out the green room.
So let's start shall we?
I really love this, its a perfect way to open up the chapter, just flood your reader in emotions, it just perfect, I felt all the pain and sadness through out the poem because of the way you opened it, this was almost like the flood gates in away. Just let's everything out.
And the rest of the poem went really well after this. It felt sad and broken, and the emotion you put into this was really powerful.
But then I got the the end of the poem and you said to read it backwards, I thought it wouldn't really go together and make any sense, but boy was a wrong, it was better then reading it the way it had been written, the emotions seemed to be deeper, if that's even possible.
I really love this poem, though there is one thing I would like to point out, it about the title, now before I begin telling you what it is, you have every right to just push aside what I say here.
Okay so, in my opinion I don't think Candy is the right name for this poem, Candy doesn't make it sound emotional, and it doesn't really carry the deep meaning behind this poem. But those are just my thoughts, if you don't agree then you are very much aloud to not listen to what I have said here.
But the title isn't a big thing, it didn't make the poem bad or anything, so I really enjoyed reading this work, and I hope you write more poems in the future, I look forward to reading more of your work. Have a great day or night either one, and post again soon.
Your friend
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion!
Thank you!
Your welcome!