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Leviathan.

by CyberGenji




I woke up.

I woke up and got dressed, dragged my tired body through the bathroom door and turned on the shower.

I wearily poured myself a bowl of cereal and turned on the news. There was nothing new, the same despair among people, the same old reports of murder and kidnapping and crime went on like white noise in the background while i ate.

The last thing I heard the reporter say before I switched off the T.V was Leviathan.



I pushed my way through a sea of people, walking past the old antique shop with rusted and forgotten trinkets displayed in the window, past the tattoo parlor from which a slight whirring could be heard.

I went into the Starbucks and stood in line, I heard the chirp of a phone, so I pulled out mine to check it, it didn't come from my phone.

I looked around and saw people sitting on couches, standing in line, all with their head tucked into their laptops and phones.

I heard the chirp again,

No one reacted. Maybe I was just imagining it.

I ordered a Grande Americano, and told the barista my name, and I sat down on a nearby table.

I surfed through the thousands of notifications on my phone, surfing from app to another, getting lost in its web.

When I got pulled back to reality to my name being called by the barista. I went up to him and paid for my coffee and said thank you.

He only replied, Leviathan.

I left, I was hurrying to get to work.

I walked into my office building, it was a tall grey looming figure, the first time I stood in front of it, I only felt dread, I never knew why.

The security guard greeted me warmly, I never knew how he of all people in this office had that warmth, he made me feel welcome.

I nodded at him and walked into the open elevator and hit the “close doors” button, even though I saw people hurrying towards it.

It was selfish, wrong, but i was late, i could do with being selfish for a day.

As soon as i stepped into work, Marcus called me into his office and gave me an earful,

He told me corporate wasn't going to like that I'm late, I repeatedly apologized but he kept repeating it over and over and over again. I backed away slowly.

I sat down in my cubicle and booted up my computer, so many sales to make.



By 5 PM i had made 30 sales today, i felt a little proud of myself. I shut down the computer and started gathering my things.

As I started to leave the room I noticed, all the cubicles were empty.

I wondered if they had already left before me, but it was only 3 minutes past 5 now, how could they have already left.

I also noticed cobwebs in Jake's cubicle, but that wasn't possible, I saw Jake just yesterday.

Marcus was waiting for me near the exit, he told me not to be late, he told me Leviathan wouldn't like it.

I left the office building in a hurry. But why was I in a hurry, I had nothing to do at home, nobody to get back to. Didn't I used to have a girlfriend? No, that was in high school.

I was walking down the street when I heard thunder, I looked up to be faced with a cloudy and dark sky.

The roads were devoid of any signs of life, where there should be a sea of people crossing and walking on the roads, there was only emptiness.

The businesses that marked the roads on each side were closed and barred, it was almost as if I'd entered a different time or a different dimension.

I felt a dark growing pit in my stomach, almost as if I was about to throw up.

There were a thousand thoughts racing through my mind, but only one of them was successfully scratching its way to the surface.

I felt like I wanted to go to the pier.

No. I needed to go to the pier. Something was calling, someone was calling.

I made my way to the pier, lumbering towards it slowly, every logical part of me was screaming at me to run away, to go home, but i wouldn't,

It was almost as if i was enchanted, like a moth is to a lamp, but if i'm being honest to myself, it was the first real emotion i felt in days.

Unease. It felt wrong, but i craved it.

As I walked the pier I closed my eyes and took in the ambiance and the scent of my surroundings. The old, rotting wood of the pier, the sound of waves crashing, the residual smell of melted butter on popcorn and cotton candy.

I remembered the carnival that had once been held on the pier for so many years.

I opened my eyes, the carnival had been closed down years ago, the little shops shut down, marked as “going out of business”.

So why did the scent still remain, did i imagine it? I closed my eyes again and felt the memories hit me again,

I started walking again, towards the end of the pier.

The merry sounds of the Ferris wheel, the cheer and laughter of children playing ring toss.

I stopped at the edge of the pier and held the once glossy and shiny railing. It was rusted now, i didn't open my eyes, i was remembering how it had once felt, so many days i spent here, in frivolous joy and not a single care in the world.

But the memory felt somewhat tainted, I felt something dark and enormous around me.

The feelings of content and joy soon turned into the chilling grasp of terror.

I opened my eyes, and saw a behemoth larger than the building that once brought me despair.

I saw it’s length coiled around me and around the pier, and yet his true size was still unknown to me.

He had a serpentine body and a face i could not describe, he was so much worse than any monster story could describe.

I asked him who he was.

He answered, Leviathan.



And,

I woke up. 


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Fri Jan 01, 2021 6:17 pm
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SpunkyMonkey wrote a review...



Hi! Spunky here to review!

I woke up and got dressed, dragged my tired body through the bathroom door and turned on the shower.

Why would you get dressed if you are going to the shower?

I wearily poured myself a bowl of cereal and turned on the news.

So the protagonist went from turning on the shower to pouring a bowl of cereal in one sentence? Maybe do a transitioning paragraph. There are a few other places were you can do that, but if you rather leave it to keep it short, go ahead and ignore me.

I went into the Starbucks and stood in line, I heard the chirp of a phone, so I pulled out mine to check it, it didn't come from my phone.

this is a run-on sentence. You could split it up into two like,
"I went into the Starbucks and stood in line, when I heard the chirp of a phone. I pulled my phone out to check it, but it didn't come from my phone"
or something like that.

I heard the chirp again,

the comma should be a period.

I sat down in my cubicle and booted up my computer, so many sales to make.

Don't you think it would sound better like this,
"I sat down in my cubicle and booted up my computer. So many sales to make."
Just splitting up the sentence makes it better, because it doesn't sound like a run-on. A variety of sentence lengths also keeps things fresh.

I wondered if they had already left before me, but it was only 3 minutes past 5 now, how could they have already left.

a question mark is needed, and maybe add a so in front of how. Like so, "so how could they have already left?"


Glows:

...a sea of people,

Really nice metaphor. I love the clever way you tied in the theme of your story with that description

I like how you set the stage with people randomly saying "Leviathan". That's super cool. I really was hooked on this story, and even though it could be improved, the plot and descriptions are pretty amazing.

Bye! Have a lovely day!




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56 Reviews

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Reviews: 56

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Wed Nov 04, 2020 7:13 pm
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izzywidgeon wrote a review...



Woah. Okay, there's a lot to unpack here.
Let me start with saying that while this story doesn't have a lot of descriptors in it, it really nicely paints the perspective of a guy who works a job he doesn't like, hence the short sentences. He doesn't really have a lot to say until the point that he speaks about seeing the monster. All throughout the piece, I was waiting for the jumpscare moment, but that's when I realized what this person could be experiencing was purely psychological. Maybe "Levithian" is his greatest fears, his failures in life, etc. I honestly wasn't sure, and that's what I liked about this piece so much, you left it sort of open ended.

I hope this bit of rambling helped you in some way.

Cheers!

-ml




CyberGenji says...


honestly it did help, that's exactly what i was going for, since a sudden jumpscare with a mythological monster would feel a little cheap in a way. but yes, thank you



izzywidgeon says...


oh, i'm so glad it helped!




Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place.
— Captain Raymond Holt