We are Twin.
I am me,
she is she,
and we are both Twin.
*******
We are different and the same,
not one being, and not similar.
Antonyms, I guess you could say, like
A is to Z,
black is to white.
Stuck in the same category,
but different and clashing.
*******
She has lily-petal hands and delicate fawn hair.
I have blackened skin, like it was charred, and unlit ember eyes.
She lives her life bubbly and full of sunshine.
I stay distant and resolved.
*******
We were born in the same instant.
We always shared a bond,
were always together,
but we grew up in different places,
different homes:
Mine was beautiful and rugged,
near a wild park and a great monument,
suburbs by the forest.
Hers was in a dark, subdued city, covered in blinding smog,
trapped listening to her own breathing in that hut of a house
she shared with no one.
*******
One thing we shared through our different lives, though:
We were the odd ones.
Staring into space,
wondering things other people didn’t want to know.
We were the outcasts,
No friends,
no family,
no one but the other child in our heads,
convincing us to be strong.
Far too strange for his own good, they’d say.
Too distant to be normal, she is.
*******
How do I know all this?
Because we share a consciousness.
We are one mind stretched between two different beings.
Two totally different people,
one mind.
*******
She sneezes, I think, Bless you.
I trip, she sticks out a telepathic arm.
*******
We are not two poor children bound together by each other’s souls,
trapped in endless limbo.
We are powerful people who share a wonderful connection,
trying to break free of not the bond,
but the expectations of society.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,382 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
Ok, well that explains mine and my twin sisters life perfectly! I love this, its like reading my life. I don't know if u have a twin or if u have relatives that are twins, but this is amazing. me and my sister are suppose to be identical but we are total opposites. I love how u opened with we are twin, not trying to nit pick because I do like it but I would put we are twins instead of we are twin. I loved this piece and cant wait to read more
Good job!
Actually, I was reading about some twins who were separated at birth and this was kind of a bi-product.
But my cousins were born in the same year. ( they aren't actual biological twins, but they act like it. 
)
Anyway, thanks for the review!
~Curiosity(killed the)Cat
Hey, here to review!
Okay so I only noticed one spelling mistake here;
"were always together," 'were' should be 'we're' as in we are.
I think the idea here is great, but needs some organization. Personally, I think you should take this and make it something bigger, since there seems to be a lot left out here, like I'd like to know why there are separated, what happened? How did it happen? When did it happen?
This would most likely make a good story, though, you shouldn't lose the lines or anything here, since they have a lot of power, but simply take the lines and make them something more, something bigger. Explain things a little more, maybe even give some detail.
All in all, I really did enjoy this poem, though I'd like to know more since I still have questions. Keep up the good work
Grammar. Honestly, it hates me.
I'll start editing this and trying to make it work a little better. Thank you so much! 
This poem is beautiful and moving, l'm not even sure what to say this was so good. (Um I'm obviously new to reviews so I will try and do my best)
The ending stanzas are really moving and do an amazing job of summing up the main feeling of this poem, this work is reall great and I'm exciting to see more poems of this quality from you.
xXBRODYXx
Thanks! Honestly, I have no idea how so many people got to read this. I'm blushing. :3 And welcome to YWS!
~Cat
This was a cute idea. I quite enjoyed your poem! I do have some comments though.
First of all, I like how you started the poem. It was a good introduction to the characters, and a good hint to the fact that they are one being/mind. So, well done.
"But we are different and the same,"
- To this, I would suggest you get rid of the "but," just to help it transition better from the previous stanza.
I think you could cut down the rest of the stanza to the essentials and have it flow better, so it would be like this:
Antonyms, like A to Z, black to white.
Stuck in the same category,
but different and clashing."
I loved the way you described the girl. Lily-petal hands? That's quite beautiful imagery! Suggestion - change "I have blackened skin, like it was charred, and unlit ember eyes." to "I have charred skin, and unlit ember eyes." It cuts down unnecessary words that jilts the flow of the poem.
For the most part, I loved this, but I felt that, as you got to the end, it was no longer the narrator speaking, just the author. I think you should try harder to integrate and imply your message, rather than stating it out-right as it is: we are breaking free of the expectations of society. Personally I think you could have had that idea but only as an undertone, and improved this poem quite a bit.
It's the idea of "one must avoid music that smells of music" (Amadeus). One must avoid simply throwing themes at the reader in an extremely obvious, out-of-character way!
Don't get me wrong though - this was still good, and you had a really cute idea. I enjoyed it a lot, especially the two characters and their differences. Just, for future reference, try to imply your meaning a little bit more!
Anyhow, great job, hope to read more from you soon. c:
Thank you! It's just a rough draft, so help is appreciated.
~The Cat
Hi CuriosityCat, this is Sherri! I love your avatar... so cute!
I really enjoyed this poem; the story of the two twins is a sad one, but all the more beautiful by the end. I like how you describe them as 'one twin'; the mental and emotional connection between siblings, even miles apart, is a wonderful idea.
I usually drift toward poetry with a rhyming scheme (Before I found this website, most of the non-rhyming poetry I read didn't flow well), or anything that flows really well. Not only did your poem flow amazingly, I also forgot it didn't rhyme; I kind of got lost in it, and was sad when it was over.
I couldn't find any grammar or spelling errors, so great job!
To rap it up: Incredible poem! Thank you for the nice read!
Thank you so much! *blushes* And your avatar has to be the cutest ever. :3