Parts of the Prompt: Edward Cullen, white, a wolf, a ticket, and Germany.
WC: 1988
Jennifer looked at her friend Katie’s music collection. There were all the normal CDs a person had these days. Pop musicians, rappers, and virginal country singers. There was also White Wolf. Katie’s one rebellion. Jennifer wanted to grin whenever she thought about her friend liking the band so much, but she kept her humor mostly to herself. If she ever was upfront about why it amused her, she might have to see what--well, that wasn’t worth thinking of.
She took the CD, Wynter, off the stack and flipped it over to look at the photograph of the lead singer, Eliza. Burgundy hair, black clothes, sitting on a white throne with a wolf pelt wrapped around her. She and the dead animal seemed to be be having a staring contest; as if Eliza thought she could crack the creature’s glass eyes with just a glare rather than a string of high pitched vocals.
“What’s funny?”
Jennifer almost dropped the CD, but she put it back on the stack and shrugged, shoved her hands deep into her felt coat’s pockets. “Nothing. Why?”
Katie closed the door behind her and tossed her bag onto the wicker chair in the corner before she ran her fingers through her golden tangles of windblown hair.
“You were smirking. In other news, my dad said he can take us to the pizzeria in ten minutes.” She flashed a smile of pure white, straight teeth.
“I heard there’s a long wait,” Jennifer said.
“Well, my dad knows the owner. I did pageants with the guy’s daughter when I was younger.” Katie rolled her eyes, then walked over to her vanity and picked up a tube of lipstick. “So what was so funny?”
“Um, on the cover of Wynter, Eliza looks like she’s having a staring contest with the throw rug wolf carcass.”
Katie laughed and it sounded like bells, because why would it sound like anything else? The girl was perfection and it scared Jennifer more than she liked to admit. In Katie’s bedroom, she felt like she was in a shark tank. She felt like a blind person who had fallen into a tank full of tiger sharks, actually. No wimpy nurse sharks existed here.
Katie’s bedroom looked like a something out of a Disney movie. The walls were purple and the bedspread was pink and perfect with too many pillows and a pristine teddy bear. A Twilight movie poster, Edward Cullen front and center, and a pair of pointe shoes decorated the walls.
Before she’d met Katie, she’d been sure rooms like this were a thing of fiction. Nothing in Jennifer’s room matched. It was a pit of school-related chaos with bookshelves lining the walls with tomes that spines were breaking, empty picture frames, and an old toy horse wearing a fedora.
Seeing Katie’s room made her feel like a shmuck. Then again, being in Katie’s presence gave her the same feeling.
She watched as Katie put on dark red lipstick, another layer of paint to the face.
As if sensing her negativity, Katie popped her lips together and then spoke, “You know, you’d look so much fresher if you put on some makeup.”
“I’m wearing eyeshadow and lipgloss,” Jennifer said.
She was trying to make an effort. She was friends with a popular girl now.
“You are?” Katie raised a well-groomed eyebrow. “Oh. I see. You might, uh, want to try some brighter colors?”
Jennifer shrugged. She’d barely managed to leave the house with what she had on her face; her father had thrown a fit, talked about how her mother, her dear dead mother, would never have looked so slutty.
“I dunno. Makeup isn’t really my style.”
“Well then, at least put this on,” Katie commented and threw a ball of sequined fabric at her.
It was like being tossed a deflated black disco ball.
“What’s this?” It had at least one hole in it, Jennifer discovered as she pulled it about in her hands.
“It’s a dress, stupid. Put it on!”
“It’s a dress?” For a six-year-old?
“Obviously. Well, what are you waiting for?”
Jennifer took in a deep breath, chewed on her lower lip, and pushed her dark fringe from her face. She started to walk towards the bathroom.
“Where are you going?”
One hand trembled at her side. “Bathroom, to change.”
“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Katie said, then chuckled, as if something was innately hilarious.
Shark tank, Jennifer reminded herself. No blood in the water.
She took off her jacket and then her top. She knew her bra was a size too small and old. She pulled the dress over her head and then unbuttoned her jeans.
“My shoes don’t work.”
“Nah, you just look like a hipster. We can make it work. Let me get you some of my high socks, you can look like a schoolgirl.”
I am a schoolgirl. What am I doing?
“Okay. Um, so what’s so special about this Italian place, anyway? You’ve been talking about it for days--”
“It’s a secret. But guess what’s not a secret?” Katie was now back to her bag and pulled out an envelope.
She handed it to Jennifer. Jennifer took it like it might contain venomous beetles, but she took it anyway. She was brave. She opened it and her jaw dropped.
“These are tickets.”
“I know.”
“To see White Wolf, from the mosh pit.”
“I know! If we’re lucky, Toby Kent might sweat on us.”
“Who?”
“Who? The drummer, duh. The hot guy in the band? Don’t play so coy, Jen. You’re not as naive as people say you are, I know that.” Katie took one ticket back and put it on her vanity and then put perfume on her neck.
Roses. I hate the smell of roses, but they smell nice on her. Kill me now.
And that was the problem, wasn’t it? A conversation about White Wolf on the bus had left both of them completely confused. That is, Katie thought she was best friend material, a pretty girl hidden under a bad haircut and baggy clothes, and Jennifer had been sure she’d found a kindred spirit.
Eliza Joyce was a lesbian.
Katie had talked about how pretty she was. Apparently all girls talked about how pretty other girls were, but none of them thought about it quite like Jennifer.
What was she doing in the shark tank? It would go nowhere and eventually she wouldn’t be the one stripping in front of Katie and--if Katie ever found out, Jennifer would be ruined.
Ruined.
Forever.
Katie’s family had more money than they knew what to do with. If Jennifer was lucky, they might let her succeed three states away if they thought she’d sullied their daughter.
Jennifer shivered. “It’s cold in here.”
“You can put your jacket back on. It’ll work well with the snazzy hobo theme.”
Was that an insult?
Nothing made sense anymore, honestly. Nothing at all. Nothing had ever made a particularly large amount of sense, but high school had devoured Jennifer’s brain.
“You know, I heard that Germans dress like geeks. Your mom was from Germany, right?”
“Yeah.” Jennifer pulled her coat on and wrapped it close around herself. She looked to a nail polish stain on the carpet. “I dress like a geek?”
“No! I’m just saying, you could do worse. Don’t beat yourself up so hard. Hipster is pretty cool right now. If you just showed off a bit more skin, you’d have pretty okay fashion sense.”
“Thanks. I think.”
Again with that pixie laugh. Katie was shaking her head, all big blue eyes and blonde hair and a pink dress. Everything anyone around here wanted, closer to what Jennifer's father wanted her to be. Prom Queen. Princess. No brain.
Jennifer liked Katie, more than she should, but she always wondered why they had become friends. Because they were so different? Because it was a Twilight Zone day when they bumped into each other and started talking? They had nothing in common except a love for a band.
“It’s just bad. If you were going to not want to be all American, you’d probably want to choose some Latin blood, right? Passionate.”
“Stereotypes, Katie.”
“It’s not a stereotype if it’s true. Your mom died when you were a baby, right? Your dad has never dated again, but not because he’s still in love with your mom, but because he hates divorcees? That’s cold. Of course he’s from a cold place.”
“Buffalo isn’t all that exotic,” Jennifer replied. “It’s basically like here. Do you know how much it’s been snowing these past few days? How aren’t you cold?”
“Because you’re got the corner on frigid, so I have to play the tease.” Katie gave her a Cheshire Cat grin.
Jennifer couldn’t help but feel a bit sick. “I’m not frigid.”
“Of course you are. I’m grooming you to be head Ice Queen when I’m gone.”
“I doubt I’ll keep that throne when you’re off to college.”
“Oh, don’t worry. We have a bit more than a year to get you perfect. Soon you’ll be able to scare an entire army of math geeks into wetting their pants just by flipping the bird.”
“You’re crazy.”
“You love it.” Katie danced away, grabbing a shawl, and, as if she were psychic--and, oh, wouldn’t that be horrible--her step-dad, Ross, yelled to say he was ready to go. “That was way longer than ten minutes.”
Jennifer shrugged.
“So, your crush Liam might be at the new Italian place. He’s a busboy, I think.”
“What? Wait. I don’t--”
“No need to deny, I know all.”
And Katie was so close, all smiles and softness, and Jennifer suddenly felt like ice had invaded her blood.
Now she wasn’t thinking of sharks or beetles, no she thought of the Wynter cover and for a second it seemed like Katie was changing before her, turning to a snow-pelted thing with glowing embers for eyes, like cold stars. Teeth like bone and gums like frostbitten skin, a snarl pulled on a skeletal face--
So familiar, so hated.
***
She came to on the floor, Katie and Ross leaning over her, concern in their eyes.
“Has this happened before?” Ross asked.
“No,” Jennifer murmured. Yes. “I didn’t eat lunch.”
“Stupid. That’s why I tell you not to get lost in the library at chow time,” Katie joked, but her smile was strained, eyes dark.
Jennifer wondered how much she had seen. The lust or the horror.
“Should we call your parents?”
“My dad works the night shift. I’m sure I’m fine. Can we just go and get some pizza? I think I’ll feel better with a full stomach.”
No, I won’t. Because a cursed man fell in love and had a child, and then didn’t even bother to tell her why her life was crap until she kissed her first girl and found out that a wolf, a fucking god, had been charged with making her life as horrible as if she’d been born in Hel’s realm.
All for transgressions she’d never even known about, that made her terrified to look her father in the eye.
All because vengeance knows no irony, and a god of vengeance doesn’t either.
Jennifer wasn’t wholly German, but her father married a German woman for a reason. The things in the attic, the books and the pictures, had made that clear. The swastikas carved in femurs made that clear.
Katie suddenly frowned, an expression Jennifer didn’t see often. “Maybe we should take you to the hospital?”
“Can you follow my finger?” Ross suddenly moved his hand before her face and she tracked his pointer finger, biting her tongue as she did so.
She was trying to avoid crying.
“It doesn’t seem like she has a concussion. How about I get you girls some orange juice to boost your blood sugar levels and then we ride on over to Mike’s new place?”
Swell.
"She watched as Katie put on dark red lipstick, another layer of paint to the face." I love that line, funny and I agree. The cliffhanger really makes me want to read more. The story flows fairly well, but at some points I get really confused. I think if this is a short story you might need a little more excitement. But the words capture the audience, just need the plot to cause I didn't follow some of it. I think this would be an eight out of ten! Good good good.
Hey Cspr! I saw this and thought I'd give it a review because your stuff is always awesome, and sure enough this piece doesn't break the trend! You really have an incredible writing style and, although the events you were describing weren't things that could normally be interesting to me, I found that this story was really good. So basically, the two girls, the geek and the popular girl, are friends, and Jennifer is a lesbian, and Katie possibly is? Now there are a few little lines or whatever that had little mistakes in or were a bit confusing:
"She and the dead animal seemed to be be having a staring contest; as if Eliza’s thought she could crack the animal’s glass eyes with just a glare rather than a string of high pitched vocals."
This line is pretty awesome, but I think you must have changed your mind about the sentence in the middle of it or something because it should be 'as if Eliza thought'.
"Katie closed the door behind her and tossed her bag onto the wicker chair in the corner before she ran her fingers through tangles windblown hair."
through her tangles of windblown hair? I think this would be a good opportunity to get a bit more desciption of her in as well, instead of doing it all later.
"His daughter, Charlotte, and I did pageants when I was younger.”
this is grammatically correct but it just sounds a bit off. I'd just do 'his daughter charlotte and I'
Kate’s bedroom looked like a something out of a Disney movie
Typo: Katie's
And that was the problem, wasn’t it? A conversation about White Wolf had left both of them completely confused. That is, Katie thought she was best friend material, a pretty girl hidden under a bad haircut and baggy clothes, and Jennifer had been sure she’d found a kindred spirit.
I'm confused by this whole paragraph, a bit like the characters are confused! I think you mean that Katie thought jenniffer was best friend material but i'm not sure, and when did they have this conversation about WHite WOlf? Is it the one they had just now? Explain, please.
"She came to on the plush carpet floor, Katie and Ross leaning over her, concern in their eyes."
She passed out. WHy? A few paragraphs later you say that she kissed her first girl. Did she kiss Katie and Katie punched her and knocked her out or something? Basically, from this point onwards I totally don't understand what's going on in the story. I reckon a few more sentences added in at certain points could make it all so much clearer. Why did Jennifer pass out? Is it because she's cursed? What do you mean by cursed?
"No, I won’t. Because a cursed man fell in love and had a child, and then didn’t even bother to tell her why her life was crap until she kissed her first girl and found out that a wolf, a fucking god, had been charged with making her life as horrible as if she’d been born in Hel’s realm.
All for transgressions she’d never even known about, that made her terrified to look her father in the eye.
All because vengeance knows no irony, and a god of vengeance doesn’t either.
Jennifer wasn’t wholly German, but her father married a German woman for a reason. The things in the attic, the books and the pictures, had made that clear. The swastikas carved in femurs made that clear."
WHAT? so Jennifer's dad is a nazi, and they're cursed, and these two things are somehow connected, and there's a wolf god of vengeance involved somehow? OK, I the reader can roll with that, but I need you to explain this and you don't, the story just ends. So I'm very confused.
In conclusion, this is a brilliantly-written and fascinating piece. well done. and I'm really interesting in the curse and the wolf god of vengeance and I would like to know more.
I hope I've helped! And please explain the end to me because this is a great story and I would like to understand it!