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Young Writers Society


16+ Language Violence Mature Content

The Murder

by Cryaoticfangirl1367


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Hi, my name is Vera Williams and I am sixteen years old. I was murdered on August 12, 2014. I knew who were the people that killed me, and they were my favorite Youtubers. However, I wasn't their only victim in their murderous crime. There were other fangirls was murdered before me. They were older than me like the Youtubers were and have different types of hair like red, brown, blonde, and etc. They looked like the ones on the news since July 11. Before I died, I moved to Flordia from Texas. I had a single mother who took care of me after my father died of the care accident. She watched over me and tried her best to get me into the best school called WhiteStead (A/N: Not a real school) which I finally went there. I was the member of the school council and track team. I was friends with Tina, who is the member of the track team also. She can run very fast and make good grades as me. Also, I have YouTube account which I play video games and do volg. I had three thousand of subcribers who supported me. Then, I has some message from other Youtubers, Pewdiepie, Tobuscus, Markilper, etc. They are very cool and funny guys to hang out with and my favorite YouTubers. I knew they weren't the ones who killed me. However, I knew it was Cryoatic who is Pewdiepie's friend. He was the best YouTuber that I had ever met. We used to get to know each other when we first met. I used to like him as a friend when I knew he was 25. Sometimes, Pewdie would tell something about me peeing on myself when I played Slender. I know he might laugh at that, but I didn't care because I knew him like that. I used to want to be with him and see how he looked like because he never showed his face. He messaged me that he wanted me to join him with his crew called the Last Night Crew. Of course, I said yes and he told to come over at his house, 2134 Fredett Ave at 9:00 pm. I felt excitement to meet him and his crew which I always enjoyed watching his livesteams with them, but I didn't tell anyone about it including my mother. She wouldn't like me to go to some adult's house expected Tina's house. I lied to her about going to my friend's house for a fun. Then, she believe it and told me to get ready and come back to 12:00 so I did as she said. At Cry's house, I was wearing my yellow shirt that says 'Go Daddy' and blue pants. It looked kind of small and has yellow color on it. I walked to his door and knocked on it. Then, I saw Cry who answered the door. He was wearing a green hoodie that says 'Sup?', blue jeans, and a pokeface mask. I saw a smile from him as he said, "Hello, Smiles! Please come in." I walked inside as Cry was a gentleman to move to the side for me to enter. "No, please call me Vera," I said with a smile. He nodded and walked past me to the other room. I followed him behind and saw Russ, Red, Snake, and Junds were playing Super Mario 64. I felt my fangirling is squealing inside. "Guys, meet Vera." Cry introduced me. They turned around to see me and saw their jaws dropped. "Damn, you're HO-" Russ was cut off with Red hit him on the arm. "Russ!" Red shouted. Cry and I giggled a bit at them. Junds got up of the couch and reach his hand out. "Hi, I'm Junds," he said with a smile. I shook his hand and said, "I'm Vera." We stopped shaking hands as Junds sat back on his spot. I saw Snake stared at me without saying a word. I waved awkward and he waved back. Then, I heard Cry cleared his thoat and said, "Well, let's play, shall we?" I nodded and sat down next to Junds as Cry sat next to me. While playing Super Mario 64, we joked around and laughed at each other's jokes. I thought this night will the best time that I ever had. However, it wasn't. I always got these stares from these guys which kind of crept me out a bit. Then, I felt Cry's hand, rubbing my thigh gently. I didn't felt in love nor happy, but uncomfortable while being with them. I didn't wanted to get them upset so I stayed. Then, time hit 12:00 am which I was relieved. We paused the game and I said, "Well, guys, this is fun night, but I had to get going." Cry shook his head and pleaded, "No, stay. We have one more game to play." He leaned to me which made me feel very uncomfortable. "No, I am very tired and I need to go," I protested. I got up and started walking to that door. However, I was blocked by Russ who in front of the door. "We are not done yet, Vera. You will stay here." Russ said. I saw something in his eyes. It was asy to see , and I knew it was bad news. I stepped back and bumped into something. I looked back and saw Junds with the same look as Russ's. I started to run to find something to hide as I heard Red's voice. "Get her!" I ran as fast as I could to the back door, but I was caught by Snake. I fought for him to let me go, but he was stronger than me. I felt my back was touching the cold floor. He pinned me down and stared at me with his anger eyes and then I saw the others surrounded me, looked down at me. I stared at them when my body was frozen. Snake got off of me and then Cry was top on me. He lifted the mask to letme see his face and kissed me on the lips. I was shocked of this moment because I didn't understand of him not letting me go and kissing me. He stopped and started at me with his blue eyes with full of lust. "I want you....we want you," he pleaded, "We need this. We need this now." I shook my head and whispered, "No..." He began to take my pants off and started to unzip his pants. I begged him to stop by saying no loudly. I could feel tears on my cheeks when he was about to this to me. He stared at me angrily and yelled, "Stop being so fucking SELFISH!!" I felt his hand slapped my cheek hard which made me turn my head to the side. Then, I started to hear my mom's voice. "Oh, Steve, look at my little star," said my mom. I felt Cry was inside of me, grunting in my ear. "She is the beautiful daughter of all." I felt him being bigger than me. It was like I was his prey and he was a lion. "I know, hun, Vera is a great runner," replied my dad. I saw Russ, Snake, and Junds eyes were full of lust. They thought I was a piece of meat. "She will be the best runner of the Williams." Then, Cry got off of me and it was Russ on top of me. He was inside of me as well. "I know...my favorite buttercup." I was pleasing them like I was a sex doll. They went one by one like costumers who getting something that they always wanted. My mind was blurring as clouds were fogging what it is going on. Then, I saw Red was enjoying this as she screamed, "Whore!" I felt something that I didn't felt before, and it was betrayal. I closed my eyes so I won't felt this pain. After a hour later, I heard Snake panting as he got off of me. I opened my eyes and realized others were staring at me and Cry was wearing his mask again. "Get up!" Cry demanded. However, I couldn't get up or sat up. I was frozen with fear. Cry sighed as he was whispering to Snake. Snake nodded and looked at me. He picked me up and took me on the chair. Everyone followed him and then surrounded me. They were giving something to each other and stared at me. They were holding sharp and metal. I realized it was a knives, but I didn't reacted to it. I just wanted to leave here and get out of this pain. I saw Cry walked toward me and said, "This is going to hurt bit for you than it hurt me." I saw them raising their knives and suddenly it went black A/N: I know it has a few mistakes on here because I was very tried.


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91 Reviews


Points: 1931
Reviews: 91

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Sun Oct 19, 2014 7:09 am
Redbox275 wrote a review...



Wow that was a unique story.....killer youtubers.... Okay first of all I would say more description and better word choice but then again I was kind of glad it was not too descriptive considereing they raped and killed her. Either way I need to feel more emotion from your character. You mentioned other girls there but I didn't read them being descriped in the second half of the story.

It's good for us to know our main character but was knowing she was in track, in student concil, and had a friend named Tina really neccessary? When she did ran away she didn't get too far. I would have had a chase scene and make refrence to how well she ran due to track.

Also people get annoyed when writers put auther notes right in the middle of the story. So put it as the end or beginng of the story.

Speaking of A/N don't make excuses for low quality. Yeah I get tired too and I write bad when I am exhausted but if you don't have a legit deadline I think you could have published this a day later and presented a better story

Sorry if I was harash. I was really interested in this story. When reading the summery I got chills and I just had to read it. Write on!




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45 Reviews


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Sat Oct 18, 2014 3:43 pm
TigersMoon wrote a review...



Great story, interesting events.

I'll start with the nitpicks:

"...best school called WhiteStead [which I finally went there]." That part seemed a little weird to me. I can't really tell what was weird, but I think you should read it again and see if there's any miswording or something.
"...I was the member of the school council..." Replace "the" with "a."
"I felt my fangirling is squealing inside." Get rid of "is."
There is a few more past/present tense mistakes in here.

This story is different. Youtubers as killers? Ok.
There's lots more good things in here such as plot, characters and much more. Sorry for the short review.

-M.P. Tigers




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7 Reviews


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Sat Oct 18, 2014 2:59 am



When I pasted this on here, it has paragraphs. However, it looked like this. Just for your little reminder






Hmm, did you try just uploading it, and not pasting it? That might be the problem, although I'm not sure. *hopes is helpful* :D




*Sad football bagpipes*
— DougalOfBiscuits