Untold Secrets

This was amazing! I really enjoyed this poem, and it truly speaks about a lot of people. It was simple, yet very expressive of what some people feel, and I, in a way, had some sort of understanding of the poem. If only the world had more writers like you! I wish to see more works from you! The poem was well thought, and very inspirational.


Keep writing and never give up!

"Everyone has one or two secrets,
all the rest have been said and told.
I have over a million untold secrets,
trapped inside me forever.
All my feelings, (and) all my thoughts, {makes it a little bit more dramatic}
never been said, never been spoken.
Just caged inside me,
for all eternity.
My hearts words cannot be told,
for fear everyone is to know.
My heart has no escape,
just sitting there, ready to burst at any moment.
My questions have no answers,
so why should I even ask?
No one feels the way I do,
I am trapped forever inside myself."
This is very nice. The message is very good but the one thing that I think you could change is your rhythm. Some words rhyme or are just meant like the first two lines. And you do that jere and there which kind of screws me up. Mabey it is just me but the last line I was reading it and wanted the last word to be "you" Instead of myself. You would not make sense it just feels like then the rhythm would work. Mabey read it aloud and you will see what I mean. Other than that this is really good!

Very thoughtful, has a very personal note to it.

I really did enjoy this poem. The idea of trapping secrets and having a different side to you has always interested me in writing. I do agree the poem could use some work with the flow and giving the idea a stronger point, but I found it, for the most part, quite brilliant.

Overall, very nice, but it could use some work.

I LOVED it. It felt simple, though well made. I especially loved this part:


"Everyone has one or two secrets,
all the rest have been said and told.
I have over a million untold secrets,
trapped inside me forever.
All my feelings, all my thoughts,
never been said, never been spoken.
Just caged inside me,
for all eternity.
My hearts words cannot be told,
for fear everyone is to know.
My heart has no escape,
just sitting there, ready to burst at any moment.
My questions have no answers,
so why should I even ask?
No one feels the way I do,
I am trapped forever inside myself."

I was not really expecting much(I don't really know why), but it blew my socks off. The best part of it, is that I really understand it. I felt it, and I almost knew it. Good job with this one.

Well done, and keep on writing!

Love, Bob Walker!

Hey there!

Well I do like the concept, though I find that this poem has much to be worked on. I think you could have been much more original. Also, your flow is all over the place. The third line does not mesh with the first two, then when it transitions to the next line/stanza, you become quite redundant. Though redundancy can be used for emphasis, I feel that it is out of place.

"All my feelings, all my thoughts,
never been said, never been spoken." Said and spoken are the same thing, and I think that if you wanted to emphasize the topic, there are better ways to do so. Then when you progress to "My hearts words cannot be told,
for fear everyone is to know." , I think you either left out a word, or the phrasing is off.
The last stanza is fine.
I do like your ending line.

Overall, this needs much improvement, but I think that it could be a really strong piece.

~epic