precipitation is the sky’s way of loving the earth
tear is our way of tearing love apart
death is nature’s way of restarting the cycle
life is our way of stopping our passing
through the window passing quickly
\
a picture of moving figures
trying to stop and see it clearly
no brakes
no brakes
no brakes
\
breaking against the dam of our minds
crashing and nearing the surface
choking for breath and reaching and reaching
and reaching
and reaching
and reaching
\
suddenly fades and dies away
sunlight filters through the looking glass
not a moment’s notice and gold slips away
moment passing
moment passing
moment passing
\
no way to stop and see it clearly
the dark shadows come quicker than we can stop the light
wondering curiosity left unsatisfied
wondering about
wondering about
wondering about
\
taking your hand and inspecting its lines
how does blood run so the color flushes
from top to bottom and down every capillary
cycles through
cycles through
cycles through
\
left unsaid are so many things that should have been
no way to express what we feel in truth
all in all our worlds are left so untouched
all alone
all alone
all alone
\
stone cold I turn towards you and crush my past to dust
magma hot comes out frothing and washes my future to bleach
brightly swirling signal flares will take your heart away
darkly stilling moon-flitted waters bend my soul into shape
\
when the lines jump into line
and my words fall out correctly
then I wake and realize the only then
that only in our dreams can we have what we need
\
so burn! burn! when words are repeated
they lose their meaning and fall into the soil
lose our minds in our frenzied struggles
afternoon fiery passes quickly
and wilts
and wilts
and wilts into dust
\
too many thoughts and my mind shuts down
wanting to learn and see what I feel
what is it what is it exploding from inside
breaking me breaking me without leaving a scratch
\
so burn! burn! until tomorrow never comes
our concepts of time are merely proportions
calculations and passing frames of perspectives
written into equations of linear conclusions
let’s burn
let’s burn
let’s burn this world down
\
until we are the only ones left
\
nowhere left to look but into each other’s eyes
\
\
will I know by then?
by then
by then
by then
by t h e n
b y t h. . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
November tapped her head thoughtfully with her favorite black-and-pink pen, eyeing her homework. After reading the problem twice, she clicked the pen and set its tip onto the pearl-white paper. The girl wrote slowly, carefully, adding a fanciful twirl to every number, letter, and symbol. Finishing one problem, she set the pen down and adjusted her bejeweled Hello Kitty earphones with one pale, slender finger. The music’s volume was turned decently low, and the classical trills backed by an upbeat pop rhythm whispered in ears tickled by mischievous strands of pale gold hair. Letting an imperceptible sigh slip into thin air, the girl brushed her fair, wavy hair back and tied it into a high ponytail. Feeling the fuzzy, pink hair-tie, she once again set pen tip to paper.
In the background, the TV was tuned to the news. Graphic pictures and flashing lines of white text marched through the screen as a stone-faced reporter related whatever information they had on hand.
Lifting her pen away from her work once again, November turned her brilliant eyes towards the left, where an imposing window stood inches from her unreadable face. Past her own reflection in the crystal-clear pane, the entire city lay within view of the 78-storied apartment. She searched through the early morning haze casually, finally focusing her sight on a curious phenomenon a few blocks away.
Where a landmark skyscraper used to stand, catching the earliest morning light, only a plump column of thick black greeted her piercing gaze. As the breeze stirred the still life of predawn, the oily smoke puffed and swayed, reaching for the heavens. Hidden at the base of the puffball were hints of vermillion and orange, darting in and out of the protective folds of inky darkness.
November’s ears pricked and she turned slightly, straining to catch the information on the news while keeping her eyes honed in on the site of the explosion. The volume of the television suddenly jumped, catching November’s attention. Before she could turn her head, however, another presence glided behind her and leaned in to observe the ghastly sight.
“It’s all over the news—I looked and all the channels are carrying it. It’s pretty much all over the internet, too. Just half an hour in and it’s the only thing people can talk about.”
November listened to the reporter in the background to ascertain the topic. She tilted her head towards her companion. “Have you filtered through all the information? Do they know who did it?”
December scoffed softly. “Do you really think they’d know? I’ve checked multiple sources, but nothing useful came up. All they have are details of the site, not of the attackers, and not even of the bomb.”
November’s ear twitched. “Oh?”
“Yeah. There’s no trace of the explosive. They’re running tests, though, something may come up by the end of the day.” He looked down and scowled. “You didn’t finish your homework.”
“I will before school starts, brother. There’s no hurry.” The girl turned back to her work. December stepped back and glanced over his sister’s paper.
“Well, why are you even bothering with this? Finish it quickly, we have other things to do.”
“For example?”
“If you’ll stop wasting time, we can go take a walk around the site of the explosion before coming back for breakfast.”
With a small sigh, the girl lifted her pen and eyed the paper briefly before rapidly completing the rest in one breath. Clicking and setting it down carefully, she swept herself off of her soft pink bed. Swiping a fuzzy overcoat, she widened her steps to catch up to her twin, who was already out of the door. “Hey! Should we tell mother that we’re going out?”
“For what?” December snapped. He opened the front door and turned to peer impatiently at his sister, one hand tucked into a pant pocket. “Will you hurry up? We have things to do.”
“Oh, stop it. It’s not like the building will sprout legs and run.”
“Maybe not, but if we go while it’s still hard to see five feet straight, we’ll be able to skirt the security and go directly into the site.” December held the door open as November skipped through, struggling to pull on fluff-lined boots. “And you do know, once they come and mess things up, we won’t be able to do what we need to do.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: ‘Ello mein lovelies~~~! Oh goodness this was a rushed chapter. I really hate last minute all-night writing sprees. I really do. Now excuse me as I sleep through the entire day… because I really need to. I will rewrite the novel once I actually have an idea of where it’s going, so for now, please excuse any lack of plots/character developments and the sort. Sorry. ^w^
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,844 Reviews
Happy Review Day!
I adore the unexpected style of this piece. I've never really seen an introduction quite like that. Although capitalization would be appreciated. The poem was lovely, and I could figure out pretty easily that it was pop music. I particularly loved this part:
But I do think that you might want to take it easy with the repetition, it felt a bit bizarre. You may also want to use word choice to give it a softer feel.
As for the novel portion, it comes off as pretty solid. I can easily see November's slightly-eerie calmness, as well as December's fussiness portrayed quite well through their dialogue and behavior.
The explosion is well-presented, adding a subtle, quiet mystery to the whole piece. The imagery you added with it also helps a ton. But maybe you could mention the word "explosion" before November turns to look. Just a suggestion.
I found no grammatical errors, and your flow and voice work exceptionally well for November. It's a shame that I couldn't give more criticism, but, then again, it's better not to need it. Cheers.
-Chaser
Ah, good to see you again, m'friend~~~!
Thanks for dropping by yet again~~~! ^w^)/~~~ Well... I didn't intend on it to be something like pop music o.o But that's actually quite fine, too! 
It's meant to give a more chaotic feeling, as my writing style is like that. The random repetition served no meaning at first, but now I'm using it as a foreshadowing of sorts, I s'ppose? :3
As for the other points, I will most definitely take them into consideration when I'm rewriting the novel. Once again, thanks for your review~~~! ^w^)/~ See you again soon, and a happy writing~~~!
Nice job.. Keep on writing dear. practice the accuracy of your grammar..but so far.. two thumbs up for you.
Grammar is my second worst enemy. (worst is writer's block :3) Thanks for dropping by~~~! ^w^)/ I'll hope to see you again in the future as well~~~!
I think I will follow this novel, since your synopsis is really interesting and I'm liking your writing style. Expect a review later, and please bug me if I forget!
Thank you QwO Though I died on the second week... ( ._.) Oh well~~~ I'll still do my best to update every week~~~ ^w^ Thanks for sticking by, friend~~~!
Interesting start to a story! There are some grammatical errors that you may want to fix in editing. The poetry is at the beginning, but could use a little bit more work to have it flow together a bit better. The dialog was a bit vague, and there wasn't much action happening. You started the story writing describing pen and paper, but it would be even more helpful if other aspects of the story were described, and if more action was added. It seems that something urgent is happening, but it feels like there are conflicting paces to the story. One is calm, and the other is urgent. Maybe it would be helpful to try to balance the two.
Overall, interesting, and the writing is mostly clear. Keep it up!
Thanks for the dropping by, friend~~~! ^w^)/
I do admit. Grammar is my long time enemy... ehehehe.... since I was being a lazy lazy Jen on Vacation, I procrastinated until the last minute to write this, and so it's really unplanned and messily thrown together. When I rewrite it, I'll change the beginning to be more fitting.
Once again, thanks for the review~~~ :3
Happy writing~~~!