November 17th, 2013
I was payed by a certain person to break into the bassist of Fall Out Boy’s house to gather information about the upcoming album. It was supposed to be just a normal mission, but I was so wrong.
I got to his house late into the night. When the world was asleep I was snapping off his window lock. As I climbed through his window I stepped in this weird red liquid, I assumed that it was just ketchup and continued walking around Pete’s house. It was cold and dark and I kept tripping over random shoes. I guess he doesn’t like having a tidy house. After a while I found his office. I rummaged around the drawers and I found a notebook that looked like it went through an episode of myth busters. As soon as I opened the notebook I heard the door whoosh open so I looked behind me. It was Pete Wentz. “You will be so good for boosting my lifespan…” Pete said as he unhinged his jaw, his teeth were razor sharp like tiny knives. I was scared then I felt a sharp pain in my chest then I felt my bones breaking down and contorting. I tried to scream but no noise came out then I felt myself being ripped out of my body then I was looking above at the flat meat suit that was once my body and Pete was standing over laughing as his wrinkles firmed up and his skin tightened like he was a 13 year old again…
Now I haunt this earth warning unknowing victims yet nobody ever listens to my warnings…
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
Well nothing could be quite as horrifying as ignoring the blood on the floor and then hearing "you will boost my lifespan". That really did throw me off guard, good job! A small tip: breaking up your text into more paragraphs would really help here.
Poor narrator but at the same time, how can you expect to warn people when you ignored all warnings yourself?
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the jinxed S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - The narrator breaks into Pete Wentz’s house to find out more about the upcoming Fall Out Boy album, but things quickly take a dark turn when they find out the truth about the lead singer…
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - You could make this longer if you wanted to, but that’s about it.
Chocolate Bar - Oh my…this certainly made me shiver my timbers, especially when Pete killed the narrator to make himself look younger. It would make so much sense if he was taking the lives of others to look young! And I wonder what happens to anybody else who wanders into Pete’s house…
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a spooky short story! I will be certain to never wander into Pete Wentz’s house, especially after 3 AM. I do fear for the narrator and so…I wish you…
A glorious day/night! ^v^
Ty for the review
You%u2019re welcome!