Sleepless

Hi, I'm EmoChikXoX and I'm going to review your poem

I like how your poem started, with the reference to the MGM lion. I thought that was quite clever and I've never seen that before so well done on that! The best part, for me, are the first 4 lines, they really do draw me in and I think are really creative

I do think though that the consistency of the poem does seem to fall after that though, I mean it's still good but not as good as those first lines that I mentioned.. I think that they could've been a little more descriptive, a bit more creative maybe. You could've used some more powerful words to really draw in the reader more. But I do still think that it is a great poem though

Well done, Keep posting!

~EmoChikXoX

I could clearly notice that this is actually flawless. And it"s easy to relate to.

Every girl out there could read her own story through these line.

The only negative comment I has is that u should grammatically re-arrange your sentences as to make them more appealing.

This I guess would improve your piece.But it's honestly the simplicity is actually amazing.

So I guess you'd have to figure something out in-between.

Hope I've given u real help.
I would really appreciate if you'd give me your opinion on my
latest work.


FATMA xxxxx

Hello!

I've really enjoyed reading this poem! It's one of my favorites! You're an great poet. The flow of this poem was great and easy to read.

This part

'There's so much here for you

There was me and you'

Is by far my favorite because it's easily for me to realite. The poem is very realistic.

You have great grammer skills. Which is really good for poems.

Over all, I hope to read more of your work soon!


Xoxoxoxos,

Love Katy.

Hey ClaireAura, HT here for a review.

Truthfully, this is a wonderful work and it doesn't really need to be changed. However, you might want to consider adding some punctuation to the lines to improve flow and remind your readers to pause for a moment before continuing on. Also, typically whenever there is a punctuation mark then that is where the line ends, and a new one begins.

This however all depends on the writing style of the author, and if that is not your style then that is perfectly acceptable. No two authors write the same way (And we should all thank the writing gods for that!).

One last thing, I personally believe that in the third line, the word "two" should be replaced with 'as well'. The 'too' just seemed a little short for the line to me, and sort of halted my reading. I think that's what I'm trying to say, but if I'm not making any sense I apologize.

I hope this helps!

Happy Writing!
HT

This is a lovely poem, very sweet with genuine emotion. Your syntax is great, which is always important in poetry, and, in some places, has a slight oldfashioned style to it, which I think suits the topic of love very well.

The rain falls down and marries the rich soil without a care

Sometimes I wish I could fall too, endlessly to help ease the pain