When Amber woke up, she found herself in some kind of cave. It was dark and she couldn't see anything. She was sprawled on the ground, barefoot. The dirt she was laying on was rough and uncomfortable.
Steadily, she got to her feet. The dirt made her feet itch uncomfortably. Moving to her right, her hands held out, she walked blindly. Her hands connected with a wall of stone. She trailed her fingers along the wall, letting her hands guide her. Her breath came out in harsh gasps and there was a lump in her throat. She had never been so scared for herself. She was alone, cold, and injured. Her throat felt dry and her stomach growled with hunger.
Amber knew now that she should have listened to Jake. She would never have been in this situation if she had. Now she was paying the price for her actions. How could she have been so reckless? But Jake would come to find her. Wouldn't he?
Tears trailed down her cheeks as she fought to control herself. But she couldn't help it. She cried until she was too tired to carry on. Then she sank to the ground again, letting her eyes fall shut.
Hours later, Amber felt something wet trickling down her face. Opening her eyes, she saw a man looming over her with a cloth in his hands. She panicked, sitting upright too quickly. Everything seemed to spin around her. The man backed away slowly. He was wearing a long, black robe and he had strange markings on his face. The colour of his skin suggested he was African.
"Don't worry," he said gently. "I'm not going to hurt you."
Amber didn't say anything. She looked around and realized she was in a small tent. She was laying in a bed at the back of the tent. There were bags right beside the bed, and a lamp on a table, casting light in the tent. Everything that had happened suddenly came back to her. She started to feel sick, and let her head fall back on to the soft pillow on the bed. Gasping for air, she tried to take steady breaths. The man watched her in concern.
"You need to take it easy," he told her. "You're safe here."
Before leaving the tent he warned her not to leave and told her he would be back soon. When she was alone, Amber stared absently above her, thinking. She wondered what had happened to the others in the village. Had they won? Were they okay? Thinking about all this made her feel sick with worry. Instead she focused on herself. Where was she? Was she really safe?
The man came back quickly. He sat on the edge of the bed, watching her curiously. The tent was filled with a long silence. Amber had lots of questions to ask, but she was too afraid to speak. The man spoke instead.
"My name is Connor," he told her. "What is your name?"
"I'm Amber." She spoke quietly, so Connor had to strain to hear her.
"That's a nice name," he said kindly. "We found you nearby. You were unconscious in a cave. What happened?"
Amber hesitated. He had said 'we', so there must be others nearby. Should she trust this man? But he had clearly saved her life.
"There was a fight in the village where I was living. I tried to help but I was overpowered and kidnapped. They were so strong." She felt her face redden slightly as she said this.
"I understand," Connor said quietly. He seemed to be deep in thought.
Feeling braver Amber asked, "Where am I? What is this place?"
"You're in Camp Marshall," Connor answered. "You can come outside if you would like to. I can introduce you to a few people."
Amber stood up slowly. She was relieved when she didn't feel sick or dizzy. She followed Connor through the tent flap. The first thing she heard was laughter. Directly in front of her was a luxuriously warm fire, a beacon of light in the dark night. The sight was comforting, making her think of Jake's house. Around the fire were three women and two men, sitting on opposite sides of the fire. Sitting on the hard ground didn't seem to bother them. The men were talking in low, conspiratorial voices and the women were giggling. Connor walked over to the fire, Amber following uncertainly behind him.
"I have someone you might like to meet," he announced to the people. "This is Amber." He moved to stand beside her. "She will be staying with us for a while."
The people smiled warmly at Amber. The women all spoke in unison, saying 'welcome, my dear' and 'nice to meet you, Amber'. When they had finished welcoming her they went back to talking to each other. Then the men introduced themselves to her.
"I'm Benjamin," the oldest of them said. "It's a pleasure to meet you, young lady." He smiled at her, his crooked teeth showing. He had grey, thinning hair and wore an old fashioned hat. His eyes were dark brown. He wore clothes that looked like they had seen better days, and he had a walking stick laid on the ground beside him.
"Hey there," the younger man said. "I'm Thomas." He had short, curly brown hair and dark green eyes that glittered like emeralds. He wore a green jumper and jeans.
"Nice to meet you," Amber said to both of them shyly.
Amber felt a little nervous of all these people. But they seemed okay. And they had cared for her. Maybe she just needed more time to get to know them.
She was safe. At least, for now.
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter Amber's World: Chapter FourPoints:
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Hi there! Noelle back again for another Review Day review!

This chapter most definitely lived up to my expectations. It's a great continuation of the story!
Poor Amber. I feel so bad for her! Here she ends up in this new world she knows nothing about and she's thrown into this war (well, she throws herself into the war really). And then because of that she ended up alone and hurt just like she would've been if she hadn't have gone through the portal. You know, if she had stayed in her old life.
It's very interesting to me how people are so welcoming of her in this world. I feel like humans are a naturally suspicious group We always jump to the negatives instead of the positives. If this had all taken place here and now, the people would've been suspicious of Amber. Why was she left all alone in a cave like that? What would she do to them if they let her stay with them? Stuff like that. But the people in this world don't seem too think that way. They just want to help her. First it was Jake, now it's Connor.
I think this chapter ends a bit abruptly. It doesn't seem to be a very seamless transition into chapter 4. A good last line gets the reader thinking. It gets them anticipating what will happen next. This chapter simply ends with Amber greeting the people. I'd suggest adding in a line or two about what Amber's thinking. Find a single thought that Amber has the could really get the readers thinking. It doesn't necessarily have to be a cliffhanger, but it has to be something that the readers will get to think about until the next chapter.
Overall this is another great chapter. I'm truly interested to see where this story goes. I feel like Amber is now with the people who were attacking Jake's people. I could be wrong though, but that's the feeling I got when I read this.
Let me know when you post the next chapter. I will gladly review it!
Keep writing!
**Noelle**
Thank you for the praise and help
Hey! IamTruant here!
This was a brilliant third chapter to your story! Well done!
Pace:
Your flow was great. It was constant and smooth and your paragraphs did flow into each other nicely. Your paragraphs were long and detailed where they needed to be to describe Amber's surroundings. Just a little tip: Remember not to go into ENORMOUS detail or your reader will get bored.
Dialogue: Your dialogue was fine in some places, but some of it was fairly long for a person to say in one sentence. We tend to speak in short sentences, for example "Hey! How are you? I'm going out."
One sentence I picked out: "My people found you unconscious in the cave not far from here." You could put: "We found you near by. You were unconscious in a cave. What happened?"
Most of you sentences were life & easy to understand though! Great work!
Characters:
I found that Amber is quite an interesting character to read about. She's lost. All alone. And then suddenly - she wakes up in a tent who-knows where. You describe her feelings in depth. So congrats! Your doing great so far!
I hope I helped you! I can't wait to read more!
Thank you!