z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Beginning (part1)

by ChocoDanish


Chapter 1

As she approached her new school, she saw vast towers that spiraled into the multi colored sky topped with shining onion domes. The buildings had polished stone rims with sturdy metal lining. She peered at the large school gates made of crystallized magic [[Essence]], and she couldn’t help but notice the boy she met years ago had flocks of people surrounding him. The group had swarmed in front of the gate, therefore blocking her path. She suspected that the crimson haired boy was from a high ranking family, seeing as he knew martial arts and magic.

It was natural for high rankers to be mobbed, so she chose not to talk to him unless she was willing to risk being trampled to death just to talk to a boy that probably wouldn’t remember her. However, getting through the school entrance was equally dangerous. “Please don’t trample me to death”, Spiral continuously chanted in her head as she weaved through the mob while clutching her backpack straps tightly. She got better at maneuvering through the crowd over time.

As usual when Spiral reached the school gate this morning she encountered the regular mob of girls, however, this time they were shrieking. “Don’t they have better things to do in the morning?”, she sighed while looking at the crowd. The tournament preliminaries had begun, which might have been the cause of all this ruckus. Just a few days ago, she had seen the same red-haired boy she used to know broadcasted via a large projection device in the air while she was working at one of her part time jobs.

One of the participants in the match was purely relying on her equipment, and was extremely hotheaded. When he defeated her in the PVP match that she challenged him to, the participant shouted to the boy “You cheated! No way you could have won with those mediocre equipment”. However, he didn’t even bat an eye to the girl’s outburst and left the stage .

She was stunned to find out that this boy was also “The Virgil Harp”, the son of the guild master of the largest guild in the entire world. That broadcast had made her think he had become selfish, spiteful, and pompous due to his status. However, she was delightfully surprised when she saw him treating the middle class staff courteously and she respected him for it.

Presently, while walking to her usual seat at school, she began to hear her spiteful classmates talking about her with obvious malice. They wanted to be heard by their smirks and loud chatter as they glanced over her. She didn’t mind most of the things they said about her and even if she did, she wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of reacting to it. “This is why I hate attention. It’s never the good kind”, Spiral thought as she was taking her seat. The nicest thing people around her referred to her was “society reject”.

It was because she favoured people’s mentality and personality over looks. So, she didn’t care for large amounts of makeup, ill-fitting clothing, uncomfortable shoes, and useless accessories at all. “I heard that the freak would explode if IT wore anything stylish”, one of the chatterbugs said while looking at her with a nasty smirk plastered on his face. “This is why I hate gossip spreaders and idiots that believed groundless rumours”, Spiral thought angrily, but didn’t let it show and kept a blank face. She suffered worst from this cruel society.

Plus, Spiral knew that gossip isn’t always correct, as the views people had about the person in question could be completely different. She learned this when she heard some chatter from her schoolmates about Virgil being odd. Out of curiosity, she eavesdropped on a conversation her schoolmates had and found out that Virgil was being nice to the lower rankers on the street. Hearing this this made her respect for him grow. No one she had never known anyone in a high or mid rank to treat the low ranks with any respect at all. She wanted to be discreet about her admiration, as she didn’t want to be attacked by those so-called “admirers”, who stalked Virgil and sent him disturbing messages.

The thought of being attacked by those psychos was truly terrifying. Spiral’s life was hard enough with all the bullies, she doesn’t want anymore problems that she has to deal with. So, hopefully she could graduate in peace without any extra trouble. Then, the group started talking about the tournament and Spiral stopped eavesdropping on them.

She knew about the tournament despite being a low ranker, thought it was kind of hard not to know about it because of the worldwide broadcast of the second round and the rampant full year advertising seen everywhere from billboards to selling merchandise in grocery stores. The tournament was basically a place for the upper class to duke it out for the ultimate supremacy.

The lower class could never take part in the tournament. Although, some would try to crawl their way up the ranks by sacrificing everything, even their lives. The last part of her thought process reminded her of her parents back in the earth area, so she pushed it out of her mind and sat down in her seat. She sighed as the class teacher entered and the chatter began to cease. Thus, began another grueling day of school for her. Most of the teachers would favor the more capable students and wouldn’t even pay any attention to less capable ones. This led to the more weak spirited students giving up on schooling and looking for work.

Those students usually didn’t even get minimum wage and were condemned by society. Of course, the lower class had tried to obtain equality in the past but could never succeed, because of the huge gap. So, as time passed, more of the lower class and even middle class accepted their fate. That made the memory of her parents that she had initially pushed down in her memories gush out and that made her think about everything that had lead her to this point of her life.

Chapter 2

Spiral’s home was a small place in the lower region of the earth area and it doesn’t take a lot of footwork to cover her whole room. Her room consist of a bed, a tiny study desk and a huge plastic bag for her clothes. Even that was a tight squeeze and wondered if she should move the study desk somewhere else. But then her mother shouted her name and breaking her train of thought. She hurried to her mother but still got smacked by her mother for being slow. Her father was sitting at the dining table with the study belt wrapped around his hand.

They have been preparing her for her first day of kindergarten. Everyday one of them would supervise her studying. She wasn’t allowed to eat or sleep until she solved a problem. She would get whipped if she answered wrong and get nothing if she answered right. Spiral was confused when her parents dragged her out of the house to bring her to an unknown place. That confusion immediately turned to horror when she saw grilled doors and barred windows. Her mother shoved her into a room and a cell door slammed in Spiral’s face. Her mother had a strong look of disdain as Spiral cried out to her before her mother left her in that place.

She began to shake the cell bars and ugly cry because she thought she was thrown into a children penitentiary that she heard her parents mention sometimes during study sessions. She continued to cry till she couldn’t cry anymore. Then, when she turned around and saw other children looking at her, she pissed herself at the sight and the adult next to her shrieked then ushered her to the bathroom that was also the storage room.

Then, threw shabby pants at her and told her to change into it before leaving. Spiral changed into the scruffy and oversized pants. Then, Spiral thought she could stay in the bathroom forever. But the adult came back and ushered her out and seated her next to a boy. The boy was scribbling some colorful patterns on paper using color pencils.

Spiral watched the boy until her mother came to pick her up. Her mother pinched her so hard, it caused her arm to bleed during their walk to the car. The drive home was short but filled with loud screams of her mother discontempt. She got out of the car after her mother. She walked on the narrow gravelly asphalt road to her house that was smooshed in between other houses of the earth area.

She went inside and saw her mother holding a much thicker and larger belt in her hand. Her mother began to whip her with the brass buckle. Her mother whipped her harder when Spiral began to cry in pain. After that, she was warned to not cause anymore incidents like today and was sent to her room with no dinner.

The next day in kindergarten, the kids began to taunt her. She held back her tears in fear of the punishment for crying. School days continued like this for three years until one day her teacher announced that a winter festival will be held in the town plaza in two days because a public figure will be attending.

Her parents were lowly servants to high rankers of the earth area and saw the winter festival as a way to raise their ranks so her parents warned her not to misbehaved and painfully fussed over her. When her parents dragged her to the winter festival, she wanted to make some good memories. She went to booths managed by plants and lurkers and tried her luck at the games. She managed to win some decent prizes. She got hungry so she put her prizes in her item box and headed to a booth selling food but then a group of boys surrounded her. They demanded she hand over the prizes she won. Spiral refused because those prizes proved, she was not a complete failure of a human being.

Magic began to surround one of the boys. Then, the boy used his bracelet to summon a crystal and ordered it to pelt rocks at Spiral. The crystal began to make pebbles out of thin air and launching them at Spiral. While, his lackies used stones from the ground to throw at her. Bystanders did nothing to stop them and just watched as the boys relentlessly pelted rocks at her. She hated the cruel world she lived in, where everyone only cared about themselves. But then a boy with crimson hair and pale skin knocked out the group leader and his lackeys scatter instantly.

He then introduced himself as Virgil while helping her up he offered to teach her a way to defend herself in this harsh world. She happily accepted his offer and they went to a more secluded area. She asked if he could teach her magic but he told her that magic can’t be taught in such short amount of time because it is very complex. So he began to teach her a few basic self-defense technique and before he left he advised her to practice as much as possible. She began practicing in secret at home and it helped her avoid getting horribly beaten by bullies in her kindergarten and her parents at home.

Following Virgil’s advice, she would study her opponents when they attack her. It sharpened her senses and helped her avoid getting stabbed by a pencil from one of her classmate but it managed to scrape her arm. Her classmate doesn’t look like she was going to stop. Spiral looked at the teacher for help but the teacher was ignoring the entire thing completely. At that very moment the girl lunged at Spiral, Spiral stopped the attack with her hand. The pencil went through it and it began to bleed. The girl was grossed out by the scene and let go of the pencil. Spiral pulled out the pencil from her hand and blood started to gush out from the wound. The kids that were surrounding them had begun to scream and cry which got the teacher’s attention.

The teacher kept pushing Spiral until she was outside. The teacher ordered her to clean herself up. So she put her hand under the water faucet to wash away the blood but her hand wouldn’t stop bleeding. She told her teacher that and the teacher called her parents. When her father came to pick her up, he had a strong disapproving look on his face. He dragged her to the car and threw her in the passenger seat. Her father screamed at her the entire ride to the clinic. When they arrived, he smacked her head when she got out of the car. Spiral got her hand stitched and endured her father screaming the ride home. He went back to work after dropping her off. She took the rare opportunity of time alone by herself to hatch a plan.

Later, she managed to get her parents’ permission to go to a library. She did intensive researched using the library computer and would practice fighting in secluded places near the library. The bullying got worse as she gets older. Her stuff gets stolen and her parents would beat and blame her. She began experiencing sexual harassment from her male classmates at the age of seven. There was no one for her to turn to for help so she began to distance herself from people and hid in secluded areas of the school. Soon, the boys began to forget about her and move on to other girls. She would have moments of peace during recess. She would use that time to work on her grand escape plan.

She knew her parents would not report her missing, fearing the bad press and the school wouldn’t even notice if she was gone. Now she just have to find a good opportunity to run away. She almost gave up but an opportunity presented itself when she was ten, her parents was invited to a gala and hired a lousy babysitter. She used that opportunity to sneak out the backdoor with a backpack filled with stuff she needs to survive. She managed to stay hidden on a train only the higher class can use to travel between areas through the straw tubes.

She lived in the streets for three years doing odd jobs before she managed to find an affordable studio apartment in the Metro that was walking distance to her new school which was convenient for her because she can’t afford the bus commute to school if she lived farther away. Plus, the landlady doesn’t ask too many questions and it was normal for children from the lower and middle class to start working at a young age to survive. Some try to crawl their way up to the ranks like her parents but she has no such intentions. She just wants to live a quiet life.

During her first day at a new school, she coincidentally met the boy that saved her years ago. She couldn’t talk to him because there would always be a herd of people surrounding him. She doesn’t want to be trampled to death just to talk to a boy that probably doesn’t even remember her but getting through the school entrance was equally dangerous. She got better at maneuvering through the crowd over time.

She had to go to school while working after school at various places to support herself. She took some time off to settle in her new apartment and did a little happy dance once she was done. She made herself a simple dinner then she prepared everything she need for school tomorrow. She would double check to make sure she has all her back ups and she has friends from the street to help her through all the secret routes if needed. Before, heading to bed she would made sure everything was locked and secure. In the morning as she walked to school, she would hear the hushed whispers of the people in her neighborhood. She heard some of them saying "the plain girl", "miss boring" and so on as she walked past them. Spiral usually ignore them and sometimes roll her eyes at their words unless they crossed a line with their remark.

Back to the present, Spiral was thankful that the teacher didn’t notice that she wasn’t paying attention or else the teacher would take great pleasure in publicly shaming her. However, she wasn’t paying attention in class so it would be much harder than usual to keep up. She quietly groan in agony at her predicament.

Chapter 3

At the Harp manor, Virgil was finishing up his morning obstacle training filled with traps, mazes and odd terrains when an elegant and sophisticated female plant came to inform him that he was about to be late for school. “Thank you, I will not need any assistance preparing for my departure”, he said knowing how fussy the servants are. He quickly prepared himself for school and courteously waved his grandmother goodbye as he went into the car.

He looked outside of his limousine window and saw the multi colored sky. That was caused by the amount of magic gathered in a single spot affects the environment and the creatures that live in it. He read once somewhere that the sky was only a single color during a time before the war.

What was the color?”, “Was it a simpler and kinder time?”, “Did people care about status or power or wealth like they do now”…Virgil’s train of thought continued along the ride to school. As the car was nearing the entrance, he was snapped out of his thoughts abruptly by the small tremors he felt inside the car.

He assumed it was an attack but his driver assured him that it was merely a mob of girls screaming at the school entrance. “Do you need to be escorted inside, Sir?” the formless shadowy driver asked while looking at the crazed girls outside. “I will be fine”, he said as he got out and was hit with the deafening screams of the mob.

He sighed heavily and swiftly made his way through the crowd. He managed to get pass the large silver school gate and in front of his school vast golden towers spiraling into the sky, topped with shining droplet shaped tops. The buildings were of a polished stone rimmed with sturdy metal linings. This school is considered to be one of the many elite school in the world. His grandmother would never even think of public school.

Then, he felt a familiar non-threatening presence moving through the mob. He smiled knowing who it was. He remembered the day he had first met her. He had saved her from a group of mean boys that were harassing her at a winter festival around ten years ago. It was around that time, his mother had dumped him off to his grandmother. So that she could handle the “scandal” his father created back in water area before the news could spread to other areas.

It was a mandatory event which his grandmother made him go to. Virgil was allowed to wander around the festival streets without escorts when he spotted a boy that was illegally using his bracelet on a nonparticipant. He decided to help the nonparticipant because he doesn’t want this to turn into a huge mess. He easily defeated the boy and his lackeys.

Virgil took a look at the nonparticipant stats using one of his skills to make sure she wasn’t heavily wounded and saw that the person has high resistance to everything. He was intrigued and offered her some defense moves. She didn’t hesitate to accept his offer which made him think she was too trusting.

After he left her, he completely forgotten about the entire event until he saw her again at school entrance. That was certainly surprising but he didn’t let it show on his face. Only the middle and high class are able to move between area. She didn’t look like someone from either class.

The only conclusion he could come up with was that she moved up in the ranks. She doesn’t act like a new ranker, that would constantly flaunt it around. Guess she doesn’t want attract attention to herself. He understands that but couldn’t achieve it. He learnt her name through the school gossip mill, it can provide some useful intel once in awhile. The day was more hectic than usual and he just wanted it to end.

Chapter 4

The last bell rang signaling it was time to go home. Spiral decided to stop by a convenience store on her way home because her supply of food was running low. As she was selecting items to buy, a group of meddlesome women began to glance at her and whispered among themselves.

She wanted to leave the store as fast as possible because it was tiring being gossiped about by strangers. So, she quickly bought a bunch of canned food for herself. She didn’t randomly buy the canned food without looking at it. That be a waste of time and money to buy inedible canned goods.

As she was exiting the store, Spiral heard a loud thump coming from a nearby ally. Her body stiffened in shock and caution. She looked around nervously and saw nothing but she was on guard because there might be some creep skulking around to prey on weak and defenseless.

Spiral went to check the cause of the noise despite her immense fear. There might be someone that need help. She cautiously peek into the dirty alleyway and saw Virgil on the ground unconscious. In a panicked, Spiral dropped the canned food in the small plastic bag she was holding.

Alerting the assailant of her presence, Spiral was frozen in fear."Che, are one of his fan girl?" he asked in an irritated tone. Spiral shook her head. The guy smirked while shooing her away in a smug manner. "Why did you hurt him?" Spiral asked in a small frighten voice.

"The bastard deserve it, he made my girlfriend dumped me!" he exclaimed. She gathered all her strength and punched the egotistical guy. She sent the human scum flying, knocking over some trash cans and knocking him out. She heard Virgil groaning in pain.

She was about to help Virgil when a dark figure crept behind her and stabbing her. Everything went black and during the time Spiral awoke she was covered in bandages, in a futon floor mattress and in an unfamiliar room. Suddenly, an old lady with an icy glare burst into the room and quickly explained everything to Spiral in an icier tone. Then, another lady came in and she looked intimidating.

"My beloved new niece!!" the lady shouted while giving her a bear hug. "I will be your aunt from now on!!” the lady said excitedly. "Okay, time to fix your look", the old lady in a traditional yukata said while looking at her up and down.

"No”, she bluntly challenging the old bitter woman. "It is not your choice to make", the old lady said coldly. "Why not it is my body!" she retorted the old lady with as much ferocity she can muster at the moment. "You insolent child!!” the old lady shouted in frustration while glaring at her. "You can glare all you want I am used to it", Spiral answered saucily with a smug look on her face.

The old lady refused to admit defeat so she grunted and stormed out the room with her cane thumping loudly on the wooden floors. The lady beside her was speechless and blinking in shocked. A plant servant came with food and refreshments. The lady beside her cleared her throat and said they would continue this discussion tomorrow. She ate her food while harboring the feeling of great confusion.

After, she finished a plant servant came to take away the empty plate and cup. She thanked the plant servant and the plant servant looked very surprised at that. She can understand the reason for the reaction. Most of the upper class treat the lower classes horribly.

Chapter 5

It was proven moments ago by that old lady. She laid back down and began to think of the events that led to this situation. She was saved by Virgil’s kindness once again, he could have left her to bleed out and die in that alleyway. But he didn’t, she would work hard and prove that his actions were not in vain. She then drifted back to sleep from exhaustion.

After school, Virgil was called out by a guy. He thought the guy was a contestant of the tournament. However, when he met up with the guy in a garbage filled alley, that guy accused him of being the cause of his girlfriend dumping him. Virgil tried to calm the guy down and have a civilized conversation.

However, the guy knocked him out with a dirty blow to the stomach. Virgil regain some consciousness when he heard trash cans falling. Virgil’s vision was still blurry but when his vision became clear Virgil saw a sight that made his blood run cold. Spiral was passed out in a puddle of her blood.

He quickly picked her up and ran as fast as he can to the manor completely forgetting his own injury and pain. At the time, Virgil reached the manor he pleaded frantically to a lurker servant “Get a doctor”, in a helpless voice. The lurker servant was hesitant at his request that infuriated him.

Then, he told the lurker servant in a forceful and venomous voice “Fetch a doctor this instant or you will be dismissed from your duties permanently”. The lurker servant scurried away, then plant nurses came rushing in taking Spiral away for medical attention. "What is all this fuss!!" his grandmother's icy voice echoes through the manor from across the hall with a loud thump of her cane to emphasize her anger.

He escorted her to one of the rooms in the mansion so he could explain the situation. His grandmother walked in a dignified manner as always but he could feel the anger seething out of her. Once they have settle down in the room, he began to explain everything to her, his grandmother was staring daggers at him while scolding and lecturing him.

He did not listen to a word of what his grandmother was saying because his mind was only focus on Spiral's condition. After, his grandmother was done with her tirade and left, he began to pace back and forth nervously in the room. Hours later, the doctor came to inform him that Spiral would recover with some rest. Virgil let out a breath of relief that he was not sure when he started holding.

On the way to visit her, he saw his grandmother stormed out of Spiral's room mumbling angrily. Alice then explained that Spiral had defied his grandmother. A smile crept onto his face as he thought “Not a lot of people dare to defy his grandmother”. "Whatever are you thinking?" Alice asked and snapping him out of his thoughts. A slight blush tainted his cheeks as he walked off, leaving Alice very intrigued.

She went after him out of concern and care. “Hey, V you okay?” Alice questioned him as she caught up to him. “I’m not sure”, he answered her tiredly. “If this is about the girl, you know I can help”, she said with a smile while putting her arm around him and ruffling his hair. He smiled back and thanked her. “My bed is practically calling me with the day I had”, he said while escaping from her hold. “Bathe first cause you stink”, she said playfully while waving her hand trying to fan away the imaginary smell.

Virgil went to bathe and then tiredly went to bed but he couldn’t sleep. He toss and turn but sleep eludes him. He began to brood the cause of this sudden insomnia. He came to a conclusion that it must be the overwhelming worry for Spiral. He needs to get some rest, if not he would be weak and unfocused tomorrow or any time an enemy decides to attack. He groaned in frustration and tried to force his body to sleep. It was a restless night for him.

Chapter 6

As the sun rises on the horizon, a plant servant woke Spiral up very early in the morning. Spiral got out of her futon and stepped on the cold hardwood flooring. The plant servant direct her to a room separator. "I can undress myself", she said politely. The plant servant bowed and waited for Spiral to finish undressing.

The plant servant then led her to the bathing area and there were six other plant servants waiting in the bathroom. It took Spiral by surprise how big and luxurious it was. "Miss we need to clean you and re-bandaged you", stated the plant servant beside her. Spiral just nodded still in shock. "The bathroom was the size of her small apartment”,Spiral thought to herself.

The plants servants began to wash her with herbal water, which felt quite disturbing. After, Spiral was all cleaned and re-bandaged, she was led back to her room where another group of plant and lurker servants waited to dress her. She let them do their job because it would be a waste of time arguing with them.

The plant and lurker servants dressed Spiral in her new set of black long sleeve school dress with white buttons, collar and cuffs. Then, they put on Spiral’s school vest which was grey with a collar, black outlines and a small black ribbon strings to tie it together. Spiral then was brought to a huge and lavish dining room where the old lady, her supposed "Aunt" and Virgil was sitting and waiting for her.

Virgil seemed to be avoiding eye contact with her. Spiral thinks it is because Virgil feels guilty in some way that she was hurt. “You look so pretty!!!" exclaimed her supposed aunt. The lady opened her arms indicating she wants a hug thus, she gave the lady one.

“How are this fine morning?" the lady with right-sided shaved brown hair and heterochromatic eyes, with a gorgeous mocha skin asked in an abundant cheerful tone. “I am well", Spiral replied as she took a seat beside the lady. "Your awfully quiet Virgil", stated the older lady in her usual icy tone. "There is nothing for me to say", Virgil responded. Their breakfast came and they ate.

After that, the lady brought her to another extravagant room. “I’m Alice”, the lady introduced herself. “In the past magic was a common practice but as years went by, it began to diminish. People began to question the necessity of magic which sparked the war between magic and technology. So our creator Kyle made a tournament to settle the dispute.

Only the rich, famous and powerful can enter. The contestant consist of humans, hybrids, critters, automatons, nightmares, and slimes. The weapons allowed to be used are a sword, whip, war hammer, chakram, scythe, and breaker gloves. Usually the reader gives a contestant a bracelet then, the observer explains everything to the contestant.

Metro is usually a neutral ground. There are the embassies for other areas such as fire, ice, water, earth and grass. The contestants need to meet certain requirements to go the wilderness of each area. They be able to train at the embassy to level up their skill tree. In the wilderness you be able to catch plants, crystals, lurkers, fluffs with a soapy.

These creatures usually lose their desire to battle after getting captured. The creatures appear in every area in the wilderness but only able to catch in certain areas. Different level of fluffs will attack contestants’ home or town from time to time. The limit of people allowed in a team is five. If you have more than five creatures the rest will stay at home.

Plants can grow herbs or make potions or cook meals. Crystals make jewelry or armor or star balls. Lurkers are good for building or guarding or fixing or sewing or cleaning. Fluffs can cast protective shield surrounding the area that can reflect or deflect an attack.

An observer or adviser will be the referee for a single or group fight. The winning player gets a percentage of wealth, fame and power from the losing player”. “Why are you telling me this?" she asked Alice feeling utterly confused. “Because the doctor told me that a contestant attacked you thus, you automatically must take part of the tournament.

“Why?” She sighed wearily. “Because it is dangerous if you don’t have any training or equipment", Alice replied. “It is okay, I would not make any drastic change that you’re not comfortable with", Alice said in her usual cheery tone. "Alright", she said halfheartedly.

Right after, she gave her answer a group of beautician dashed into the room with their tools and equipment. Finally, after two hours they were done and Spiral then was introduced to an etiquette teacher. The only time she was free now was when she was in school.

She had moved in with Virgil for safety and convenience but it is causing the hateful glare from the girls in her school to increase. She wanted to tell Virgil that she is grateful for everything he has done for her but it seems that he is avoiding her both at home and in school. That irks her a little bit but she assumes that is his way of protecting her. So that the glares would not escalate to bullying.

Chapter 7

He did not sleep well last night because his mind was flooded by thoughts of Spiral situation and his incompetence for not being able to handle it better. That morning, He had to drag himself out of bed and listlessly did his morning routine. Thankfully, most of it is done by the plant and or lurker servants. The lurker servants dressed him in his school which is a grey button down collar shirt with a black tie and grey trousers.

At the moment, he saw Spiral in a dress he was taken aback and his tiredness was completely forgotten. He was completely mesmerized by her beauty. He never noticed her short silky floral white colored hair, her perfectly tanned skin or that she has the largest achingly exquisite blue-grey eyes he ever seen. He was snapped out of his daze by Alice's shouting.

He avoided looking at her as to not be spellbind by her big lovely blue-grey eyes. "You’re awfully quiet Virgil”, stated his grandmother in her typical icy tone. "There is nothing for me to say", Virgil answered his grandmother. When, their meals arrived, he direct all his attention on it.

Trying to forget that there is a very alluring woman mere feet away. He knows that one of the ways to survive the tournament is having good looks. It’s still doesn’t make things less complicated. He had unintentionally dragged Spiral into this mess up way of life and feels guilty about it.

Thus, he avoids her at home and especially at school while thinking of a proper way to apologize for ruining her life. He sighed heavily hoping that in the second stage he does not have to fight her.

He really does not want to cause any type of harm on her. He is also very concern about the other candidates, all of them will not go easy on her. They would take the opportunity of an easy win and mercilessly beat her to death.

The only thing on those self-important people mind is gaining more power, wealth and influence. “What should I do?", "How could I protect her?” his mind was overflowing with worry for Spiral's safety.

When, he saw her being glared hatefully by the other girls and her ignoring them effortlessly. He thought with a large smile on his face "She will be fine”, “She can be quite a feisty girl”, “She can defend herself when she wants to". He knows all that but he still worries about her.

He needs to prepare her for the tournament but he doesn’t know any other way than training her. Training can only help her a little in a battle but outside of it, she has to rely on herself. Of course she is independent but this is whole different matter.

Virgil was too busy brooding about Spiral that he didn’t realize the teacher was calling him. Which made the teacher scold him in front of the whole class and him being publicly humiliated for the first time in his life. This was beginning to be an awful day.

His tiredness came back with a vengeance, he couldn’t fall asleep in class and risk another public humiliation. So through great perseverance he got through first period. The next class was P.E. and he was going to take the opportunity to sneak away and get some rest. He eyes felt like they are about to shut at any moment but then something caught his attention and forcing him awake instantaneously.

Chapter 8

The first bell rang and the next class was P.E. so Spiral went to change into her gym clothes in a private and safe area. She learnt from past experience of harassment that the bullies would use any opportunity to wreck her things and luckily she manage to find a place to change her clothes in peace.

Once she finished changing, she went to the school stadium. As she enter she felt a different type of glare from the usual disgusted glare of her schoolmates commonly female. Thus, she turn around and spotted an unfamiliar guy glaring at her with hatred or anger or both.

She was about to go ask the unknown guy who he was when the coach blew his whistle. While, she was heading to her class group she kept on wondering "Who was that guy?", "Is he a new student?" and so on.

She decided to stop this meaningless pondering and focus on P.E. No one knew that she was really good at sports because all of them assumed that she was a closed off bookworm from appearance. She loves outdoor activities but none of her classmates or teachers ever chose her to be in any type sporting event.

She struggles hard to learn, thus the constant studying to barely keep up. The coach told them to run ten laps around the hundred meter field. A lot of girls were only able to do two or three laps and some barely pass fifty meters because they do not think about exercise.

They take the easy and expensive way which is surgery to make themselves look good. As she ran the seventh lap the girls from her class gave her the regular repulsed glower. She pay no attention to them as usual and finished her three remaining laps.

She went to grab a drink of water as her classmates ridicule her. "It is not her fault that you girls are terrible at running", said an unfamiliar voice. All of them looked around and at each other.

"Who said that!" demanded one of her female classmate. There was only silence, then the coach blew his whistle and dismissed them. Everyone in class was very intrigued on the mysterious male voice.

"Could it be that guy that was glaring at me?", "It could not be he was glowering at me", "Why would he defend me?" Spiral mentally debating with herself. After a few minutes, Spiral stopped because it was insignificant to debate with herself.

She went to her safe area and changed back to her school clothes then head back to class for an arduous math class. Her brain felt like it was going melt trying to at least comprehend her teacher’s explanation.

She just copied everything the teacher wrote on the whiteboard and will rack her brain later to figure out the answers. She can’t ask the teacher for guidance because all the teachers in the school wouldn’t even spare her a second glance.

Her class and school mates wouldn’t even get close to her. She can’t afford a tutor either so she has to intensely study for subjects that she is especially bad at. She make sure to buy quality and reasonably priced books or else she won’t have any money left for other necessities.

She works as a part-time juicing at some health restaurant. She also recycles to get some extra money and she keeps a little bit of money on the side for emergencies.

Chapter 9

During P.E. class as Virgil was sneaking off to find a place to rest he saw a menacing guy glowering at Spiral. He was overcome with panic. Virgil quickly grabbed the guy by the collar and pinned the guy to the wall. The coach whistle was heard from afar, as he locked eyes with the guy.

"Why were you glaring at Spiral?" Virgil asked the guy in a low menacing voice. The guy grinned while saying jokingly "I was not glaring, I was looking at her and imagining her in her undergarment".

Virgil lost his grip on the guy when the image of Spiral in her undergarment popped into his mind, the guy took that chance to escape. He was flustered and trying to not think about it. When his classmate called out his name, he went over to his classmate and ordered his classmate to tell the teacher he had stuff to do . His classmate nodded and ran off to the class group.

Virgil called a person he knows from a surveillance company to get information on the guy and his whereabouts. “Coming from an influential family has it perks sometimes" Virgil thought to himself while looking for that guy with the information he was given. Virgil spotted the guy lurking around one of the stadium entry way looking intensely at Spiral running.

Virgil tackled the guy to the ground. “Why did you come here?” Virgil asked the guy in a deadly tone. “I came to asked Spiral to go on a date with me", the guy said in a sickening perverted way. "Spiral would never date a pervert like you", Virgil said to the guy angrily. “Well you’re a pervert too cause you thought about it too and don’t deny it cause it’s was obvious”, the guy mocked.

He was infuriated and decided to punch the guy. The guy smirked while dodging his punch and punched Virgil in the face in return. Both of them then heard Spiral's classmates jeering her. The guy shouted "It is not her fault that you girls are terrible at running", he then ran away. Virgil kicked the dirt on the field enraged and went back to class in a foul mood.

His female classmates swarm around him supposedly "worried" about him. He did what Spiral commonly does, he ignored them. He might have shoved a few more clingy girls because he was in a bad mood and not well rested. No one dared to approach him after that because they got the message he didn’t want to be disturbed. He had to endure the rest of the school day or he would suffer his grandmother’s wrathful lectures once more. He was elated when the last bell rang signaling the end of the school day. He took a quick nap in the car and ordered the lurker to wake him once they reached home.

Chapter 10

When Spiral arrived at her new home she immediately went to take a bath because she was sticky from the sweat. The weather became warmer as the day became noon. During the time, she entered the bathroom she saw a very scandalous sight. Virgil’s tall, lean-built body with light skin and smoky grey eyes. His usual spiky hair red hair was wet and messy, with strands framing the sides of the face and hanging between his eyes, as water droplets dripped down from his hair to his body.

She can see the glimmer of two silver captive bead rings on top of Virgil’s right ear. There was another unseen one on his right eyebrow. Spiral gulped and awkwardly moved backwards as inconspicuous as possible. Once, she was out of the bathroom she ran to her room and shut the door. She felt her cheeks burning, her body was all hot and tingly from the adrenaline. She knew he exercises and does mix martial from the idle chatter of her schoolmates but she never expected that he would have such a lean body.

She expected a bulky body probably with veiny muscles. She jumped in surprise when there was a sudden knock on the door. “Miss Colori the bathroom is empty if you wish to bathe”, said the lurker servant. “Thank you, you may go", said Spiral. Spiral was taking a bath while pushing the thought of Virgil’s body out her mind.

The time, Spiral arrived in her room there was knock on her door. “Come in”, Spiral said. The door slid open and the unfamiliar guy with toned skin, blue eyed, blonde Mohawk with green colored shaved hair guy on the side was standing in front of her. “Who are you?” she said timidly. He heard her and answered "I’m Kage, very nice to meet you Spiral”. “How do you know my name?" Spiral said terror-stricken.

“Everyone in the tournament knows about the rare gem of opportunity", Kage said while grinning. Spiral shivered in fear at his words. “Some might recruit you and backstab you in the future while most would just use you for their own gain from the start”, he continued. “I won’t let anyone use me because I will get stronger”, she retorted with a hint of fear in her voice.

“That be fun to see", Kage said before disappearing. Spiral slumped to the ground, “What had I got myself into?" she thought while shaking in fear. Then, she heard Virgil calling her name. Virgil showed up at her door out of breath and he looked up at her with concern in his eyes. Virgil hastily wrapped his arms around her. "Ummm...” was the only words that was able to come out of Spiral’s mouth. Virgil moved away from her while fumbling around. "Goodnight", Virgil managed to say in his disconcerted state then he left in a hurry. She merely watched him leave as she was still reeling from everything. With her homework completely forgotten she went to bed. "This has been a nerve-racking evening”, Spiral thought before she went to sleep.

Chapter 11

He managed to get some sleep the moment he got home because he was exceedingly tired. If it wasn’t for his astounding endurance he would have collapsed in school. Once he recuperated, he began to agitatedly brood in his room about the possible ways Kage could hurt Spiral and that a date is mere a pretense for a trap. After few hours of intense brooding, Virgil decide to clear his head so he went to take a bath. As he was bathing he felt a gaze from behind. It wasn’t filled with killing intent so he assumed it was a servant.

Once he finished bathing, Alice came into his room to tell him that there was an intruder moments ago. The description matched Kage’s and Virgil began to worry about Spiral’s well-being. Alice noticed it and informed him that Spiral wasn’t harm in any way. “Is there anything else?” Virgil questioned. “No, that’s all for now”, answered Alice. “Alright, you may leave”, Virgil dismissing her.

After Alice left and he got dressed, Virgil brooded once more of Kage’s intentions. Finally, he came into a conclusion he will spy on Kage to get more information. Virgil called upon Foz a fly critter for help. “How may I be of assistance milord?” Foz with a green bow tie and trouser questioned upon arriving. “I need you to follow this person”, Virgil showed him the picture of Kage on his phone that he got from the information company.

“I understand, I shall be off now milord”, Foz said before flying off. He was too agitated to sleep so he went to do some training in the family’s training hall. After a few hours of beating a wooden dummy, Virgil calmed a little bit and then he took another bath before heading to bed and hopefully get some sleep. Meanwhile at an abandoned building site, “You were a decent fighter for a bug”, Kage mournfully said before crushing Foz’s head with his foot.

Back at the Harp manor, Virgil’s bracelet glowed alerting Virgil that Foz has reincarnated which meant that Kage detected Foz and had defeated him. Foz was not a weakling, he has incredible fighting and espionage skills. “Damn, Kage unfortunately has skills”, Virgil grumbled before restlessly stare at the ceiling. After an hour of staring an idea came to him, Virgil decided to go to the dark area.

The area was bleak, twisted and filled with traps. Each area has their own level of difficulty, if an individual skill tree is too low or don’t meet the required level to survive an area they would instantly die upon entry. Thus, the embassies exist for each area so that an individual could get the proper clearance to enter an area without the threat of dying immediately.

It is basic facts that is known by every civilized creature in every area. Only a high level contestant would be able to enter the dark area without dying instantly. After hours of walking around in the eerie and lifeless forest while dodging traps and killing various creatures, Virgil finally encountered a lurker.

After weakening the wild lurker, Virgil threw a soapy at it. Thankfully, it was caught on the first try. His bracelet glowed and a lurker trinket appeared. He never relied on creatures before because it was a hassle taking care of them. However, the situation has changed so he must adapt quickly to for his and his companions survival, as much as this is out of his expertise and comfort zone. Alice did say that sometimes one needs to get out of one’s comfort zone to find something new and remarkable.

And Alice was right, he is learning to be more approachable to someone that was not born into the life of the upper class. Since, he never actually interacted with someone that was from the lower class that wasn’t trying to win his favor except for Alice but that was an entire different case.

Chapter 12

Alice came pouncing on Spiral on that bright and early morning. "Alice, why did you jump on me?” Spiral asked in a groggy voice. "Today you’re going to meet the reader", said Alice excitedly. “Who exactly is the reader?” questioned Spiral.

“The reader is a being made by Kyle. The same is applied to the adviser and the observer”, answered Alice. “Do they have special abilities?” Spiral questioned while rubbing her sleepy eyes. “The reader has the ability to fully analyze a person skills, weak points, fears, faith and et cetera”.

"Come on we have to get you ready", said Alice while literally dragging her out of bed. After, the preparations are completed Alice and Spiral went to a humongous and extravagant building by expensive looking car that Alice summoned.

Once, inside she saw scary looking beings with big blank black eyes intensely looking at her. "Do not worry they are just the observers", said Alice. “They observe, report to the advisers and most times deal with rule breaking contestants”, explained Alice to Spiral.

When, they arrived at a huge doorway Alice told Spiral "You have to go in there alone”. “Okay", Spiral replied Alice and went in. She saw nothing at first because it was completely dark, then there was a glimmer of light.

She head towards it and as she got closer it got brighter. She could not believe her eyes, there was a one eyed mummy holding a bright orb in its right hand. "Are you the reader?" Spiral asked politely so that it would not think she was hostile and attack. "Yes, are you intimidated by me?” the reader questioned her.

"No, I am more curious than afraid", she told the reader honestly. All of the events so far has made her immensely tolerant to particular things and immensely curious about the life of the rich, famous and powerful. The reader laughed at her. "Did I say something funny?" she asked befuddled and feeling a little insulted by the creature. The reader did not answer her, the reader merely handed her the glowing orb and disappear into the darkness.

She used the orb to get out of the dark room. When, she was out of the dark room the orb popped and a bracelet suddenly appeared on her wrist. "The trinkets on your bracelet represents your weapons", Alice briefly explains to her. Then, Alice’s three row spikes rivet stud wide cuff leather bracelet glowed once more to summon the expensive looking car.

“Why your bracelet looks different from mine?” she questioned Alice. “I changed it to fit my taste but its super costly so you have to save a lot if you wanna change yours”, Alice explained enthusiastically. She didn’t bother asking Alice about summoning the car because it probably is costly too.

"You will be training with Virgil from now on", Alice stated after a moment of silence. Spiral’s face had a hint of a blush when Alice told her that. “The training would not be easy", Alice stated while looking at Spiral curiously. “I will do my best", Spiral said to Alice enthusiastically. "Alright, let us head home so that you can begin your training”, said Alice. They got in the car and she enjoyed the peaceful silence before the awkward training session with Virgil.

Once they have arrived at the Harp manor, a servant informed them that Virgil was at the dark area. “Guess you’ll be learning magic from me”, Alice shrugged with a cheerful grin. “Lead the way”, she said trying to contain her excitement. At the Harp magic training hall, Alice spent hours teaching Spiral the basics of magic such as tactics, stances, countermeasures, and escape plans. Alice explains to Spiral once her level is high enough she add or change her job. She would have to pay the necessary fee for it if she does.

“Not bad but you need to be great or even greater than your opponent to survive in the tournament”, Alice told her in a solemn manner. Spiral’s body tensed at Alice’s statement and requested for more practice. “Sorry sweetie, you got schoolwork to do and the cranky old lady would flip if your grades are not up to standard”, Alice apologized with a sympathetic look. “Well I’m going to get clean up first then tackle my schoolwork”, Spiral sighed and Alice wished her the best of luck.

Now Spiral was faced with her worst enemy, math. Spiral groan in pain and frustration. She knows that math existence is important but it is beyond her comprehension. A thought came to her “Maybe I can ask Virgil for help, but he has his own things to deal with. I can’t burden and bother him more than I already have”. She groaned in frustration once more because she was stuck in a dilemma with no solution at the moment.

Chapter 13

The next day Virgil came back to the Harp manor, then he collapsed on his bed due to exhaustion. Nightfall came and he groggily woke up. Once he was fully awake, he started to think of Spiral. Lately, she is the only thing he can think about because threats are beginning to appear. He needs to find a way to secure Spiral’s safety.

He never had to worry about someone else’s safety before. All his actual friends are capable of defending themselves and only call upon him during emergencies. While, he was thinking of a way to protect Spiral, an issue appeared. Some arrogant contestant challenged him to a fight. He was furious and decided to take his anger out on the challenger.

As usual an observer came as the referee and judge of the fight. The challenger offer was pitiful but as expected as a noob. He offer up his own items so they could get it over with already. The observer made sure each party understand the stakes and then gave the signal to begin the fight.

He had hoped Spiral would not come anywhere near the fight but she did. Virgil needed to end the fight quickly so he equipped a powerful scythe from his gold tone black spade bracelet. He doubled his efforts when he spotted Spiral on top of a building. He didn’t notice Alice was with Spiral. The challenger was a newbie which made him think of Spiral even more. At the corner of his eye he saw the look on Alice concerned face.

He decided to end the fight immediately, after the surroundings when back to normal Virgil headed towards Spiral and Alice. "Hey, are you two alright?" Virgil trying to sounding casual. "Yeah we are fine", answered Alice with a slight smile. “Why are you two here?” questioned Virgil. “We went to buy some personal items that Spiral needed and I received an alert you were challenged into a fight”, Alice answered.

“I can take care of myself and if I needed back up, I would summoned you”, Virgil snapped at Alice. “I asked her to take me here”, Spiral interjected. “Please worry more about yourself Spiral”, Virgil requested wearily while patting her head. "Your clothes changed?" Spiral questioned abruptly trying to cover her flustered state. "Yes, our clothes and the surroundings changes when we fight", Virgil answered Spiral not enjoying her reaction.

"There is much for me to learn", said Spiral while nervously looking everywhere. "While we are on the subject Virgil, Spiral is going to start training with you from now on”, said Alice trying to ease the tension with a smile. Virgil gave a thankful smile towards Alice. “I hope that would not be a bother you Virgil”, Spiral said guiltily. “Not at all”, Virgil said trying to comfort her to no avail.

“Should I summon a vehicle or would you like to Virgil?” Alice question him seeing as the tension between him and Spiral grew. “I’ll summon one”, Virgil answered then summoned a stylish car. Virgil used to be in his own bubble, figuratively and literally. Back when he lived in the water area, his parents left him a mansion with servants to care for him. He didn’t see his mother until “the incident”, his family have dubbed it.

Adjusting to a new environment wasn’t that difficult because there wasn’t that much of a difference from his old environment. However, right now he was having trouble adjusting to Spiral living with him and there is a huge awkwardness during their ride home. He looks at Alice with a silence plea for assistance and she merely smiled at him. So for the first time in his life, he was breaking out in cold sweat.


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561 Reviews


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Tue Aug 15, 2017 3:07 pm
Atticus wrote a review...



Hey there :) MJ stopping by for a short review.

(I'm not going to review the entire piece, just skim it and give you some brief notes)

First of all, this is wayyyy too long. It's about 12,000 words long, so it should be AT LEAST 5, preferably up to 8 posts. If you split it up into manageable chunks, then I will be there to read and review, and if you need more points for that, just give me a ring.

The two big things you need to work on are tenses and showing rather than telling. I know that IcyFlame talked about this in his review, but it bears repeating: Whenever possible, you want to SHOW the reader certain attributes of a person. For example, maybe you show us that Virgil is polite by showing us a scene where he apologizes after he bumps into somebody, or makes polite conversation. This will be much more effective than simply telling the reader that Virgil is polite.

Secondly, make sure that you are consistent with your tenses. Did this happen in the past, or is it happening now? You need to decide on one way to write it, and stick to it. It's relatively simple, and a key skill for writers to develop.

Thirdly, try to talk about how the characters feel. While you don't need to do this for every action, maybe have a point where Virgil talks about how he feels when he is driving to school, or maybe he sees someone and then he feels pity for them, disgust, or whatever. That also helps us get a feel for each character's different personality.

And as my final note, I saw a lot of grammar errors just through skimming this piece. They're simple little things, like missing commas and incorrect punctuation. I would recommend just making sure that everything is grammatically correct when you edit it, and also brushing up on your grammar. Even if you just google something like 'a guide for using commas', you might find that you need to apply it in some other senses. That will go a long way in making your story seem more professional.

Overall, good job here. My review was centered on how to take your piece from a casual piece to a professional level, so I gave you some of my tips to really get your writing off the ground and launch it into a possible career/hobby, so hopefully this was helpful, and don't hesitate to message me if you have any questions.

MJ out!

*poof*




ChocoDanish says...


yeah i need review points and please explain more on the comma thing. i'm not a professional writer. writing is my coping and venting mechanism so my writing will be retarded. i'll fix it when i feel like it.



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Thu Aug 10, 2017 5:35 pm
RossiRainCloud says...



I love it! great work!!! I dont actually have a lot of time because reading took op most of mine XD but i just had to tell you how wonderful you did :D Keep up the great writing!




ChocoDanish says...


op?



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Sun Aug 06, 2017 4:20 pm
IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hi there and welcome to YWS.
I know you haven't got any reviews for this thus far, and that is because this post is far too long. It could be the most wonderful 15,000 words in existence, but reading on a computer can be difficult at the best of times, and even more so when you've got huge chucks of text. I would definitely suggest splitting this piece into two (preferably three) separate posts, as people are far more likely to read and review.
That being said, I am going to give a shot at reviewing this, though I won't pick out all the little points (errors or grammar issues) as the piece is that long.
My main problem with your writing is that is feels very much like you are telling a story in a detached way. It reads 'they did this, then they did that and then went here' and you don't show your readers the story developing, don't paint a picture with your words. Show rather than tell is an important technique to master when writing a piece of fiction.
This is the description I always give to people when I want to illustrate the difference but I'm sure you can find it somewhere else in more detail.

Telling is the dependence on simple description: Rose was an old woman. Showing, on the other hand, is the use of suggestive description: Rose moved slowly across the room, her stooped form propped up by a refined wooden cane gripped in a twisted, hand that was covered by lucid, liver-spotted skin.

Both showing and telling express the same information — Rose is old, but the former simply states it flat-out, and the latter doesn’t need to state it, because you can see from the description that she is elderly.

Showing is better for two main reasons. First, it creates mental pictures for the reader. When reviewers use terms like "vivid," "evocative," or "cinematic" to describe a piece of prose, they really mean the writer has succeeded at showing, rather than merely telling.

Second, showing is interactive and participatory: it forces the reader to become involved in the story, deducing facts (such as Rose's age) for himself or herself, rather than just taking information in passively.


In addition to this, you need to look up the rules of speech. You need a new paragraph each time someone new speaks and you need to watch the way you have structured their sentences. Again, the internet can explain this much more coherently than I could.

You also need to watch your tenses. Pick one and stick to it. You seem to flit about from past to present and it becomes confusing and hard to read. It's worth printing out your work and highlighting the different tenses as you can see where you've made your mistakes.

I think I'm going to leave it there because this needs a lot of work before I can review the content of it. I've only had a brief skim through it but your story looks like it could be interesting, you just need some practice and to revise it before you get there.

I hope this was helpful to you, feel free to message me if you need any further clarification on one of my points.

Icy.




ChocoDanish says...


the past and present tense is bit a difficult but i do try to stick to one



IcyFlame says...


Well, practise makes perfect!



ChocoDanish says...


yeah




A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.
— Markus Zusak, The Book Thief