CHAPTER 2
Lock, you stupid luggage!
Here I am, standing in my almost empty bedroom. My luggage is really getting on my nerves. Where was Tiya, when I needed her? She is in the washroom for maybe... The past 1 hour?
I banged on bathroom door. "Tee! Come out! How long will you sit there?"
Tiya opened the door slightly. I saw her face had green paint. Oh, it’s a mask. How dumb.
"Why can't my little sister go to Lillian's washroom?"
"Because, Lilly is my enemy! And this is both of our washroom! Remove that disgusting thing from your face! It’s creeping me out!"
Tiya sighed deeply like she was fed up. "This mask is to brighten my beauty. You should use it too. It’s very soothing."
"I wouldn't care to use any of your products. I have my natural make-up. That's way enough for me."
"No wonder you've got a dull face."
"Um... Is it me or is it Ms. Queen of Dumb Fort, having pimples even after using so many face washes and masks? I pity you, Tee."
Tiya groaned. I’m guessing, I just pissed her which is great news.
Tiya opened the door with her mask on. She frowned at me and got out. I reached out for the handle and went inside, shutting the door behind me. I let out a huge sigh. Only 5 hours to go. I can't wait! I reached for the tap, and washed my face. I looked at myself in the mirror. Somehow, I looked different. A little happier. I smiled and brushed my teeth. I changed into my shirts and a denim trouser. After 10 minutes spent in the washroom, I got out.
"I closed the luggage for you. Oh by the way, I removed the projects on stars from there. That thing was too thick. That's why it wasn't closing." Tiya said, crossly.
"Why did you remove that? I need that! You should have removed a shirt or something." I said.
"Seriously? A shirt? Who would do that?"
"I would." I grabbed my project and opened my luggage again. I removed a few lousy, dirty shirts I had put in. I thought that would come in handy and now, I have to remove it. Oh well, it was better than keeping my project away. I closed and locked the thing.
"Tee! Flo! I want you both down at 30 seconds! Eat your breakfast!" Lillian screamed from downstairs.
Tiya and I groaned. What was she, a devil? Tiya shook her head. "Like, I'm really supposed to listen to her."
"WE ALREADY ATE PANCAKES!" I screamed in my bedroom, so that the message would go all the way downstairs.
I closed my luggage, grabbing Tiya's luggage with my other hand and carried them to the hall. We placed it inside the Cab that Lillian had called for us and sat inside. I took out my Blackberry and BBM'd Sarah.
FloRa♥: Yo.
You'veGotSarah: Flooo!!! When ya leavin'?
FloRa♥: In a few minutes. Tee’s still changing. What’re you up to?
You’veGotSarah: Telling my little sister to get out of the room. She’s like more than interested in what I’m doing on my BB.
FloRa♥: Andrea? LOL.
You’veGotSarah: You’re lucky to have a twin. At least she understands.
FloRa♥: Sarah, every sibling is annoying. You have no idea how annoying is my twin. She tries to take advantage of me. But we still love them. <3
You’veGotSarah: Nice philosophy! (;
FloRa♥: Thanks, bunny. Got to go now. Let you know when we’re taking off. Bye!
You’veGotSarah: Sure. Bye.
I switched off my Black Berry, as Tiya opened the front door and slipped inside. Lillian came out and frowned. I told the cab driver to start moving and gave a little wave to her. It would be mean, if you didn’t. After all, she did take care of us. She didn’t wave back, which was no surprise. The driver started the engine, and we were on our way to the airport.
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We finished checking in, and now we were now boarding into our plane. I gave in one more 'I’ll miss you so much' message to Sarah, and took my seat. I put my luggage into the storage space. I had gotten the window seat, and Tiya was sitting beside me. I kept wondering how weird it was that Tiya never liked window seats. Oh well, it does make sense when you say she’s scared of heights.
A pretty, young air hostess came up to us, and checked the list she had in her hand. There was a man behind her too. She checked our seat number and looked at us.
“Anyone named Tiya David, here?” she asked.
Tiya sat up and spoke, “Yes?”
The air hostess was relieved but at the same time embarrassed. “I’m afraid; your seat has been changed ma’am. This young man with me, had booked this seat long before.”
What nonsense?
“How can that be? This seat was available when I was checking and selecting the seats online. You cannot do this!” I said.
“Ma’am, I am very sorry for the inconvenience but, our system wasn’t working so, we could not reserve the seat. We have no choice; Ms. Tiya will have to move. You may meet her after the plane has landed in London.”
“But—“I was about to argue back, when Tiya pressed my hand.
“Flora, it’s okay. It’s just a matter of a few hours. I’m like right behind.” Tiya said, casually.
She took her handbag, and moved back one seat. The man took her place and started reading the newspaper he had in his hand. I was annoyed and didn’t dare utter a word. I’m surprised he didn’t speak, when we were dealing about this. This is cheating! Sisters are supposed to sit together. Not separately.
There was an announcement made by the Cabin Crew, saying we were to buckle up our seat belts and switch off our mobiles. I did, as they said so, and I heard the plane taking off, with ultimate speed and then, balancing the craft in the mid-air.
The same air hostess came up and asked us for drinks. The man took up a can of Coke, and I asked her a can of Seven Up. The man, smiled to me. Why was he doing that? It gave me goosebumps. I ignored him and looked out the window, drinking my Seven Up.
He turned to me and stretched his hand toward me. “Hey.”
I looked at him and then looked down his hand. I quickly grabbed his hand, and shook it. “Hi.”
“You seem very familiar. Is your name Flora?”
Oh my god. How did he know that?
I cleared my throat. “Y-Yes.”
“I should’ve known! Do you remember me?”
I looked at him carefully but I couldn’t get a clue. I shook my head, and he laughed.
Why is he laughing?!
“I’m your 9th grade, ex-boyfriend.”
I stared at him wide eyed. It can’t be. I mean, that was long back and he still remembers me? I mean, he’s grown gorgeous! He had facial hair and disgusting brown eyes at those days. He knew I dated him for a dare. I can’t believe he’s forgiven me!
“Tyler William? Is that you?”
He chuckled and nodded. He grinned and looked at me. I saw myself blushing a little. Tyler, my long ago ex-boyfriend was sitting next to me.
“You’ve grown pretty. I didn’t realise you until I saw the list. But I still wasn’t sure until I saw your sister’s name near it. Man, did you colour hair?”
“What? No! I had a dark brown shade before. It just came out like that. And look at you! You’ve shaved of your beard and grown up into a handsome, young man! I’m guessing you’re taken!”
“Whoa! Taken? No way! I mean, I did have a few crushes and I lost a few of them, on the move. I didn’t have any one in my senior year. What about you?”
“Well, I had a boyfriend named Jacob. He was my best friend’s cousin. Though, I didn’t continue to it for long. And that was like when I was 16.”
I can’t believe I was talking to him so freely. He seemed to be so calm and gentle. His eyes sparkled and his hair was neatly combed. I laughed. I wanted to talk to him more.
“So… How’s everything at home? Everything okay with Lillian?”
The happiness drowned from my face and I felt annoyed. “You think so? We’re just a family but inside the house, we’re nowhere near family. Things have gone worse. Annie’s gone for a research at the Amazon forest so; we’re not actually living with her now. It was a nightmare the past 2 years.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” He said.
“What about you?” I asked him.
“Well, I live with my dad now. My mom got a divorce and she lives with another man. The past few years have been troubling.”
“I’m sorry. I know how you feel.” I said.
We kept quiet after that. The food was served, but I didn’t feel like eating. I ate only the fruit salad, and drank some water. I watched a movie and listened to music for awhile. Then I was tired, and I seriously needed some sleep. I hugged the pillow that comes in with the seat and soon, fell asleep.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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After 10 minutes spend in the washroom, I got out. --- should be ‘spent’

I thought that would come in handy and now, I have to remove it. --- remember to do the thoughts in italics or you could just put an inverted comma so it doesn’t confuse us.
I closed and locked that thing. (It sounds better if you say “I closed and locked the thing”)
I closed my luggage, and took Tiya's and my luggage down the hall. --- maybe rephrase it to:
I closed my luggage, grabbing Tiya’s with my other hand and carried them down the hall.
I had got the window seat--- should be ‘gotten’
He grinned at me and looked at me --- too repetitive. Should be ‘He grinned and looked at me.’
I happy face and come to a sad expression and I was annoyed --- it doesn’t really make sense. Maybe something like this: ‘The happiness drowned from my face and I felt annoyed.’
‘...and soon, felt asleep.’ --- fell asleep.
Overall, I’ve been really enjoying the story so far. And I’m hoping that things will turn out better for Tiya and Flora. You just need to add a little more descriptions about the surrounding; not too much though. And I’m hoping my reviews are helpful because I really don’t know. I liked your description about Tyler and am wondering if he’s going to be a major character in the story. As always, keep up the good work!
Thank you, again for the advice. Again, highly appreciated and was of great help! Sometimes, I make mistakes with the tenses a lot. And the typing is so annoying so... I forget to put in the some words. ;P Thankyouu! <3'