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Hello, AnnGrace. Let me start out by saying that I absolutely *love* this story!

First of all, this is superbly written. At first, I was hesitant to read Star Wars fanfic. However, this chapter has proven my reluctance to be unwarranted. I love your descriptions of the story. They weren't terribly long, but they captured just enough of the setting to help me create an image of Tatooine and the Cantina. Also, your characterization is great. You adhered to the original character of Han Solo very well. Chie's character is *amazing*. Through your writing, I was able to feel her urgency and her frustration at Solo. She seems like a tough girl, but not the stereotypical Lara Croft-style heroine. I'm interested in getting to know her. Chie and Solo's quick back and forth dynamic is nicely written, as well. Do I have permission to ship them?

In addition, I have so many questions! Why does Chie need the shipment so badly? What was in it? How did she and Solo meet? Will they work together? Is there going to be a romance? What other characters will be involved? What comes next? Will Chie start a fight in the Cantina? Will the Storm Troopers find them out?

Here are some things I would suggest. Don't worry; most of them are just technical errors. If you don't care about that sort of thing, then no worries. I'll read the rest of the chapters, regardless.

- "--for the second time at least--"
The em dashes interrupt the flow of the story (which is beautiful, by the way). Commas should be fine.

- "Chie didn't like that place"
Try to put her dislike into stronger words. E.g., "Chie despised that place."

- "The bartender was giving out drinks like it was nobody's business"
Technically, it's his business. I get what you're trying to say here, but I think another simile would be more fitting. Try comparing him to a machine, like a conveyor belt.

- "while fiddling with his blaster, which was in his hip holster."
Try saying, "while fiddling with the blaster in his hip holster." Readers will naturally assume that the blaster is his, so there's no need to explicitly state it. Also, this flows a little bit more.

- "'Are you finished?' was her disgusted reply."
Try, "Disgusted, she replied, 'Are you finished?'" This is more of a technical error than anything.

- "'after I...' that's as far as he got."
Try this: "'after I--' That's as far as he got." Again, just a technical error. However, you could spice things up by having Chie pull out a knife and push him against a wall!

- "'button...'"
Use an em dash to show interruption in dialogue. This is the last time I'll mention this so I don't get annoying.

- "'...for you!' he crossed his arms."
It should be a capital "h" as you are starting a new sentence to illustrate his action.

- "She snapped."
Having someone snap something isn't really good practice. You can say, "she said" or something to that effect. Try "retorted."

- When you have Han Solo say "good job" it should be in single quotations (''). They are for quotations within dialogue.

- "Sounds like you're swindling again,"
There should be a period punctuation after this quote because there is no tag following it.

- When you are describing Chewie, at first you call him a "thing." Even though you had not yet identified him as a Wookie at that point, it still sounds a little vague. Try "humanoid." It sounds futuristic and it's descriptive enough.

- "Wookie; and a big one at that."
This isn't the right place to use a semicolon. A regular comma will do. Also, when you say, "He enjoyed frustrating people ; especially her," a comma will be fine.

- "'Chewie!' Han called..."
Use a comma instead of an exclamation point. Your readers will already have assumed that Han shouted by your word choice.

- "'...ku.' He said sarcastically in Huttese."
The way you punctuated your dialogue makes a sentence fragment. Try this: "'...ku,' he said..."

- In the last paragraph, it's a little unclear what exactly Chie was pointing out. Try, "Chie pointed out, 'That's what you said last time!'" A lot of the time, technical errors can be resolved by simply varying the structure of a certain sentence.

Well, that's a wrap. Sorry it's so long, but I hope it's helpful! Again, I have to say how *awesome* the story is. Keep writing!

Hey! Ever here.

So I don't know much about Star Wars, I've only seen it a few times. Never read the books. So you can ignore what I suggest if you want. But from what I can tell, you portrayed Han fairly accurately. The main character, Chie, though, doesn't seem to have much personality. I think it would be better if you added in more actions, instead of just telling what she was feeling. Eye rolls, shoves, pokes, glares, they would all give her more emotion.

Huge problem: You change from third to first person sometimes.

“Do I have to keep repeating myself?! I. Don’t. Have. The. Money. I’ll pay you back when I get another shipment.” He started to walk off but I wasn’t letting him get off that easily.

“That’s what you said last time!!" Chie pointed out, "Get back here you slimy smuggler!” She followed him as he carelessly strode off. He enjoyed frustrating people; especially her. “Crazy no-good.” She followed him and his fuzzball towards the landing bay. “Cheat me will you? Well if you think you can get away with that than you got another thing coming!”

Hello! I'm a Star Wars geek and I'm gonna say this now: I like this story.

-I love the way that it alludes to the original content without going crazy on that and still being original (I like the main character so far, though I don't know enough about her to say for sure).

-As yizhongt wrote, I didn't find any grammatical errors either, so I'm fairly certain you're good on that.

-You broke this up into a very well proportioned chapter. This is a perfect size for giving a lot of information, but not making the piece intimidatingly long.

I'm trying to think of a reccomendation, but so far i can't think of any, so I would say just keep doing what you're doing. I enjoyed reading this, thanks for putting it out there.
ashlingwolf

Hey there, yizhongt here to leave a review. I liked where this is going. We get to see Han's side of the story prior to him, Chewie, Luke and Oni-Wan make their way to Alderaan. I'm really interested to know who is this character he's interacting with. Is he just a regular arms smuggler ? Or in actual fact, a member of the rebellion. I guess I'll just have to wait for you to unveil who this character is.

I didn't come across any grammar or spelling mistakes while reading through it. The story flowed well and it was easy to read. There was only one small problem.

(“I can’t believe it; I just can’t believe it.” He stated with put-on vehemence, “Those Imperials. You should have seen. They ruthlessly attacked my ship, and demanded that I be searched! I was forced; forced mind you to reluctantly dispose of my precious cargo, and flee into hyperspace before I was destroyed. The horror. The indignity!”)

I find it very hard to imagine Han Solo actually saying the paragraph above. Very hard. Especially the last part of the paragraph. Its just my personal feeling. You don't have to change it.

I enjoyed the story. Cannot wait for the next chapter.Keep it up and keep writing!