Heya there, Chaser, and Happy #Revmo !
This was quite a fascinating story, I have to admit, and I thought you wrote it splendidly. You were very descriptive, and used some wonderful adjectives. The story flowed along fairly well, and ended in a satisfying, though horrible, way.
I had a bit of a problem with the narrator, this child, because while this story is told from his/her eyes (I don't you clarified the gender), I couldn't necessarily make out what they thought of the grandfather. Was narrator thinking grandpa was some crazy old man with a foolish fear? Or did he/she feel sorry for him? I'm wondering about that, especially considering this last scene when the child finds his grandfather dead: I can't say I think he/she is losing it internally and bawling their eyes, for gramps is dead if they didn't act like grandfather was that well, beloved. How intimate were these two? Exactly how did the grandfather appear to this child?
I know it's not of huge importance, but I'm curious about why the child is staying with his grandfather. In the beginning, his mother kisses his cheeks, says he won't be staying there long, and is gone for four days. She just... takes off? This background doesn't have much to do with the story, but I think it'd be okay if you still mentioned it.
The Gilded Man interests me. For one thing, I'm wondering how his name came about. Gilded? But on another note, his love of silence intrigues me. The music box, or simply, the music, is designed to keep Gilded Man away - and it does. Then, the child has this thought that grandpa is invincible to the creature, anyway, due to his loud snoring. So, basically, wherever noise is, Gilded Man runs in the opposite direction. BUT. When Gilded Man hears the heartbeat of this kid, he does not flee in search of silence, but instead... attempts to kill him?! I feel like I'm missing something crucial from this story. I honestly don't see how this kid doesn't die; instead he "awoke" - here's where I thought this had all been a dream - and finds a dead grandpa - never mind on that last thought.
I feel extremely stupid asking this but what happened?!
I honestly don't get it. Grandfather could not have come and rescued him, because he was in his bed with a purple throat when discovered - but why would Gilded Man suddenly become bored whilst strangling the kid and run off to kill grandpa? And besides, the grandpa was invincible due to that snoring.
So. I am confused.
Apologies if I missed the obvious - I haven't been feeling so bright today - but this was a very well-written story, and baffling though it was for me, I enjoyed reading it.
Thanks for sharing!
~rosette
Points: 16802
Reviews: 276
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