It was a quiet midnight in December
I flew and flew in the sky
Until, I found that man’s house
Perched on the windowsill I tapped in the glass
Soft tapping like rapping on the window pane
I tapped and tapped and rapped and rapped some more
I heard the mumbling of a troubled man
And a creak as he opened his chamber door
But I was not at the chamber door
Thus, I rapped and tapped some more
Suddenly the window was open
And I flew through the window and sat some more
I perched on the bust of Pallas on his chamber door
Perched and sat but nothing more
The man asked if I was from Pluto
“Nevermore,” said I
The only word I knew
Yet a word that carried meanings much more
As if it were my very soul
“Nevermore,” was all I uttered
Amused, the man asked more questions
The questions that bored me had only one answer
Nevermore, nevermore, nevermore
The man grew impatient, but his dreams would not come to fruition, nevermore
The man yelled and yelled
Hoping for a different answer
But his time was no more
The answer always nevermore
Yelled did he
Indignant and angry
But still I sat
Forever sitting
Immovable on the bust of Pallas
On his chamber door
The man’s soul was lifted
Nevermore
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139,203 Literary Works • 672,505 Reviews
Hello, My Friend!
Nice to meet you! I spotted this poem in the Green Room, and you had me at "Raven" and Poe-themed poetry. And now I'd like to leave a quick review! Hope you don't mind!
To start, I LOVE this—taking this legendary Gothic poem, The Raven, and rewriting its core story from the perspective of the notorious, repetitive raven. It was interesting to see how you imagined the Raven to be in this context; in the original, it stands as this very ominous omen with very deliberate meaning behind its repetition of "nevermore," whereas here, it comes across as more innocent and curious, speaking the only word it knows how to say, watching the man go from amused, to sorrowful, to bitter and angry. And by the end, rather than this descent into the shadows and an all-consuming darkness, we get this eerie mental image of the raven and the man just trapped in this cycle; the man only gets one answer, no matter what he asks, and the Raven can only give one answer.
But of course, that's just my interpretation, sorry if I'm off.
*ahem* As far as a more technical review goes, I don't really have much to recommend. The meter is nice, so is your wording, I didn't spot any typos or the like either! While Poe is a hard writer to emulate, I do think it could've been interesting to see maybe a rhyme scheme or formatting similar to the original poem, but as-is, it definitely still works nicely! The only other thing I could think to remark on was this moment:
I get with the comma, "nevermore" here can come across as doubling down on the prior statement, but it still felt just a teeny bit redundant since you say "his dreams would not come to fruition," so it feels like a double-negative. Maybe just "his dreams would come to fruition nevermore" would fit nicely? I also think that could help the meter a bit there, since the line is so long.
But of course, that's all just my opinion and I'm not a pro, so please take that with a grain of salt! <3
As for favorite lines and parts, ooo, that's tricky! There's so much great material here, hmmm...I would have to go with:
I love how you chose to use language consistent with the original here, with the soft repetition of tapping and rapping on the window. Immediately, it invokes this very familiar image, but the new perspective forces you to think of it in a different way and it's so cool!
Again, I love the new meaning you give to the Raven's use of the word "nevermore" here. On one hand, it sounds so innocent and simple; the bird only speaks the words it knows, much like normal birds—including corvids on rare occasions. But then mentioning how even the innocent Raven knows the word has deeper meanings, and feels connected to its soul, it still forces you to question what those meanings are. Is the Raven a messenger? An omen? An innocent yet ignorant creature? Fascinating.
I love that you were able to recapture the man's desperation and anger in this poem, the way he repeatedly questions the Raven, trying to get a different answer, and tries to argue, protest, and justify with it. And that chilling line, "his time was no more," immediately invokes the idea of death—which makes the next quote and some interpretations therein all the more interesting...
I love that here, we're left with this mental image of this conversation just going on and on, unmoving and unrelenting. At least for me, it made it feel like it has become a sort of cycle, and draws to mind this concept in paranormal stories and research about echoes—how ghosts relive moments of their past, on repeat, for however long. And I'm not sure if that was your intention here, but I absolutely love that, and overall, it just works so nicely with the theme here.
Overall, that was an amazing read that reminded me of my love for The Raven, and forced me to think about it from a whole new perspective! Very nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
It is so graceful and clever! I love Ravens, and the creativity is great! It might be better if there were rhymes and syllable patterns, or maybe that is just me. It is very good. It is exciting and dark, and got me hooked in right away! My favorite line is
Yet a word that carried meanings much more
As if it were my very soul
It carries deep meanings, like it said. I love it
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the possessed S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - This is the poem “The Raven”, but in the perspective of the raven itself. It will only ever saw “Nevermore”, much to the man’s despair.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, then you may.
Chocolate Bar - I absolutely love how this is written almost similarly to the original poem, but it’s still different. The raven being described as a being that is indifferent to the man’s struggles and will not change its answer to satisfy him is written well and I do like how the raven’s soul seems to cry out “Nevermore” as the only true answer.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a great poem from the perspective of the bird! I enjoyed reading this and I think that the gothic imagery was described very well here. The raven shall never say anything but “nevermore”, as the answer means something more than the man and raven can ever hope to know and so I shall now say…
I wish you a lovely day/night! ^v^