My hair is caramel
auburn
muddy brown.
My eyes are hazel
green flecked with gold
swampy.
My hands are elegant
delicate
big and manly.
My body is curvy
womanly
fat.
I am boring
ugly
stupid
pathetic
inadequate
untalented
laughable
nothing.
Sometimes I hate myself.
Sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I hate myself.
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139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
The way this poem was written is what struck me at first. I also thought that you were being far too hard on yourself. Your poem also expertly describes what most teenage girls think of themselves and was rather close to my heart.
Your ending was the most power lines inside this poem. I felt so much raw and sad emotion within this poem. It's as if you want to believe you are the things your crossed out but seem to think that it is an impossibility. Great job. This poem actually had me reading it multiple times just for pleasure. Awesome job, keep it up!
You are an angel why would you say things like this about yourself?
But overall I like the poem. It shows how girls think about them self. It tells the readers that no matter what people say girls will always think horribly about them selves, even if it isn't right, even if they are the most beautiful perosn on the planet *you are one of them*
But I like the way you complement yourself then go back and say bad things, it's a nice effect.
~Neverland
I have to admit, I was a little confused at first before I realized what you were doing.
I thought that this was very clever, and easily relatable. Everyone feels like this at some point in their life. It's sad, but unfortunately true.
The only thing is that I think that it was unnecessary for you to repeat the same line twice so close together. The line I am referring to is the last line, and by extension the third-from-last line.
Other than that, you did good.
The point of that line is really evident in the fact that "sometimes I don't is crossed off" it's supposed to show that really it's not a sometimes thing so it's mostly for emphasis, but I get what you're saying. But thanks so much for the read, even though there's not much here to review
I actually like it, it's easy for ANYONE to relate to and you used words that aren't often used anymore, you wouldn't believe how many people have to ask what elegant or inadequate mean. It's an original poem too, at least I haven't seen anything like it. It really shows how people expect to be looked at and what they feel when they don't think they live up to those expectations. I really like it.
Thank you so much!
I actually like it, it's easy for ANYONE to relate to and you used words that aren't often used anymore, you wouldn't believe how many people have to ask what elegant or inadequate mean. It's an original poem too, at least I haven't seen anything like it. It really shows how people expect to be looked at and what they feel when they don't think they live up to those expectations. I really like it.
I actually like it, it's easy for ANYONE to relate to and you used words that aren't often used anymore, you wouldn't believe how many people have to ask what elegant or inadequate mean. It's an original poem too, at least I haven't seen anything like it. It really shows how people expect to be looked at and what they feel when they don't think they live up to those expectations. I really like it.
That was.. original. I really liked that. It's exactly how I feel every single day. I feel like you could make it better by making it longer? But that's completely up to you. It's really good though!
I LOVE THIS POEM. It shows just about how every girl feels. I can't begun to explain my feelings about this poem it's just amazing! It is amazing and kind of funny. I think this is one of the best poetry I saw on here. You have a true talent. I can't wait to read more of your writing. Keep up the good work! Your an amazing and outstanding poet and hope you write more. Keep writing and Good luck!
From,
Buddy886551
You are so sweet!! Thank you so much!
I absolutely love this poem!!!! Honestly, it's amazing! It's such a true representation of the self-hatred and inadequacy that woman and young girls these days often feel. I actually could relate to this specifically because I, too, have brown hair and hazel eyes XD.
Really, this is truly beautiful. It's slightly humorous, but with a overlaying sense of truth. All I can tell you is keep writing, because you're great at it
I actually thought this was pretty cool! It seems like all the crossed out things at the beginning are the things the speaker wants to be and whats not crossed out is what the speaker perceives herself as.
I think my favorite part was when she said
"Sometimes I hate myself.
Sometimes I don't. (Just pretend this is crossed out)
Sometimes I hate myself. "
Because "Sometimes I don't" is crossed out, to me it says, "I always hate myself"
I dunno, did I read too much into this?
I really liked this, and I honestly don't think you suck at poetry.
No that's what I meant by those lines, you didn't read too much into it. And thanks.
Okay then!
I also noticed, this your first post!
actually second. First poem though. Do you want to go over and read: Faking Perfect
What. Okay. Haha silly me... Well, welcome, kinda-ishy I guess!
Also I was wondering, would you mind taking a look at my posts? It would be awesome cuz I really want to get feedback on my writing.
Sure!
Okay thanks!
Hey! This seemed funny. I actually laughed reading this. This was something new and interesting on young writers society. A great idea. Yeah this is not a poem or something but honestly speaking this is some comedy type thingy. Its really great. Great mind you have there!
Something new producing.
I liked the lines
My hair is caramel
auburn
muddy brown.
My eyes are hazel
green flecked with gold
swampy.
funky and interesting your poetry is.